One of the great things about being in my 40’s is the ability to be wise enough to seek inspiration in finding my own true happiness. So much has happened since I turned the big 4-0 back in 2013. Living in an apartment since 2007, after completely uprooting myself and my son from the life we had known since 2001, life as I know it has been a struggle, most of it my own doing. I have dealt with hard times most people don’t know about. I had been privy to being awakened to my own horrific memories of times past that in turn caused the breakage of a relationship that I held dear. I had to take responsibility where before I literally scoffed at life, assuming someone would pick up the pieces and bail me out. The last decade has been anything but fun. But I wouldn’t change it for the world, because it brought me to where I am now.
Sometimes I feel whenever I am writing a new post, I have to reiterate stuff I went through. Well, that’s not going to happen anymore. There is no reason to go back into the past and rehash something that I am completely well aware of, and there is no need to bring it up in present conversation. Like I told my son, Timmy, just a few nights ago, when I unexpectedly got a message he was returning home a day early from his weekend away, that we can never ever go back into the past to fix our errors or correct our wrongs. And we are certainly not promised the next hour in our lives. All we have is the present. And the reason why it is called “present” is because it truly is a gift that we are given each moment we breathe. So many people take advantage of this gift, and it has been the core of my life to never be that person ever again. Moving on…
So, what’s going on in my little end of the world? Well, a whole lot, actually! Today marks 30 days until me and Scott’s wedding day! I cannot believe it! It’s coming so fast! On top of all that, we are in the middle of looking for a new house. We are very much ready to move out of our apartment and lay our foundation down on a home we expect to settle into for many years to come. Unfortunately, it doesn’t come without its limitations and road blocks. But, instead of getting angry and placing blame on everything under the sun, I am just going with the flow with the mindset that the home I am going to move into will come to me, and not a moment before hand. But, the human in me still feels down when I found a house and it’s been quickly grabbed by another. Tomorrow we are looking at two houses, with one looking very promising. Our goal is to be moving by the end of June, so even though there is no house yet, we have already started the beginning stages of prepping ourselves for this life change.
As if marriage isn’t already a life-change in itself! Gah!
Over the last 6 months three women came into my life with such artistic musings, that my right brain went into overload! Two were musicians, and one is just someone on her own level that I can only pray to be 1/10th like her I would be blissfully happy. A couple months ago, I spoke of these two musicians, Alice DiMicele and Tret Fure, so although they are still in the heart of my creative hearts, there is a new person who came into my life recently that has taken my life for homesteading to a level I’ve always dreamt about.
Today I want to talk about someone I have been following quietly and closely for the last few years, but only really hit me with the prospect of owning my own home again. Her name is Jackie and she runs her own homestead and herb farm out in San Clemente, California, with her husband, Dan (known as Lover). These two beautiful people are living a life I have only dreamed in my dreams of living. Her home consists of antique/second hand/lovingly worn furniture, with magnificent splashes of color all around the home, inside and out. Statues and pictures of spiritual beings; from Buddhist to Pagan to Catholic backgrounds. She is a devout follower of her own heart, consistently dreaming and creating new things for us YouTube viewers to salivate upon when a new video comes out. Her gardens are complex, yet simple; integrating tea herbs with vegetables, all blessed by beautiful statues of spiritual beings all throughout the gardens. Hand painted signs greeting those walking through, exhibiting such profound love and admiration for the world they have created. Cohabitating with their birds, chickens, cats and goats, it’s almost magical to see, and I have only seen through the eyes of my computer. I cannot even imagine how wonderful it must be when you are physically there. One thing that they have that I wish I didn’t have: NO SNOW. Even with the loud backdrop of the highway and military camp down the road, I would give my eye teeth to move to a place where I wouldn’t have to deal with snow again. But alas, this is where I live, and at least for the next 10-12 years, I need to call this home. In the meantime, I find myself mesmerized by her talks on herbs, spirituality, cooking, tinctures, health, gardening, and just life itself. I love that she loves Jesus and the Blessed Mother as I, yet follows the Wheel of the Year, like I do. She sees magic like I do, and it’s a rare find when you find those kindred souls who you just “get”, and they get you. Her bohemian lifestyle almost replicates what I have wanted to not only give to myself, but give to my family. The essence of complete womanhood, in the areas of being a Mother, Wife, Lover, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, and Friend is all I care about giving back. To be that person whose child’s friends come to when they need someone to talk to, or be that house that people want to come over to every weekend, or be the woman her children and nephews can learn horticulture from, that’s what I wish so much. To love yourself so completely and wholly to the point you radiate to others to be like-minded. To have that open/revolving door policy that I grew up on, is something I can officially see now in my future. To see that light, and to be able to watch through another’s eyes the things you know will come to pass in your life, is so wonderfully surreal. I can only pray I will meet this lovely lady one day, just to hug her and say thank you for helping me never forget my dream.
Tomorrow night we are looking at more houses, as I stated earlier. Keep us in your thoughts during this time, that we will be able to finally grasp onto that dream now, and begin again.