As someone who was raised Catholic, I was taught at a very young age that #1, we were alone in the universe outside of Heaven and the Angels and Saints, #2, Catholicism is the only way back to Heaven, and #3, we need to be afraid of God because He judges us if we led a good life or not, and if we did not and go to one of his priests for forgiveness, then we were going to eternally burn in the fires of Hell.
(me – lost innocence)
Now, obviously that’s not all I learned. And I will forever be grateful for the education that helped me learn about God. Even though I no longer am a Catholic, I have nothing but the utmost respect for this religion and all that it has to offer. I am grateful to say that as the years passed, more Catholics have become more progressive in the idea of modern day Catholicism. Also, most people know now that as I no longer resonate with Catholicism; it started in my early 20’s, I experienced something many years ago that that no matter what, I could never go back to this religion. Never. Now, before I go into where I am about to go, I’m going to say that if your tolerance towards my life purpose bothers you, then I ask you to kindly move along and not finish reading. Consider yourselves gluttons for punishment if you feel you need to continue reading my writings then criticize me, then there’s nothing I can do to help you! Haha! So, let’s go down this rabbit hole…
Many years ago I had what many people would call a spiritual “awakening”. It was in the Summer of 2004. I’ve heard many people ask “what does it mean to be ‘awakened’?” Think of it like this: A person with bad vision tends to see things in a blurried state. After a trip to the eye doctor, the optometrist prescribes eyeglasses. When you put on a new pair of glasses after walking around in that blurried state, seeing everything as clear as it could be, colors bright and mesmerizing…it is a profound moment! Everything looks different. Almost a sensory overload. Things that were always there but your eyes never saw them until now. That’s how a spiritual awakening is. Thoughts, beliefs, ideas, patterns…so much what you thought were to be true, turn out to be not what your soul considers to be true. When your soul “awakens”, it becomes this thought provoking atmosphere of an underlying phenomena that was always there from the beginning. For me, it was truly a scary moment. Yet, I really did not truly awaken to all of my senses until Winter of 2009, when I encountered a tremendous traumatic event that resulted in the full awakening process to happen almost in a split second. WHOA! When a person awakens, all those ideas and philosophies that I truly and utterly lived by, dissipated. They no longer serviced me. And this can be a truly painful experience for people; I know it was painful for me. To have to go against everything you thought was right, showing everyone who “knows” you to see you in that different light; is an extremely challenging time for any human.
In summary, my time of awakening began 11 years ago, in 2004. But I really did not fully awaken until 5 years afterwards. And for the last 6 years, I have dealt with the repercussions on those around me who still have their eyes closed. Now, before anyone starts jumping to conclusions, I am NOT saying I am better, I know better, I know more, than anyone else. I am just saying that my soul has awakened to the possibilities that the impossibilities I thought in life might actually be POSSIBLE. That’s all. Sadly, those words I just stated above will come across as arrogant or even manipulative, and please know, that is not my intention. We all awaken at our own time. Whether this life, or the lives we live after. We all come back to Spirit.
So, here’s what happened to me:
I went from being a social butterfly to a homebody. Sometimes, I was almost in seclusion. I felt safer being indoors and away from other people. I became introverted. Who knew something like that would happen to me??? I was in clubs in school, leads in musicals and plays, a principal lead vocalist for a band. I LOVED LOVED LOVED being the center of attention. I loved the fame I felt with people liking me, and I would do anything and everything possible to GET people to like me.
I went from being a semi-religious person to being an all-out-right-on-new age spiritual enthusiast. I know it pains my family to hear the term “new age”, because as catholics, it goes against its conservative foundations! I get that! Can you only imagine how scary it is for me to have my mind think and believe these things, only to one day turn around and say, “I really can’t believe in this anymore”??? Can you only imagine how difficult it has been for them to feel absolute frustration in knowing I will never go back to being in that frame of mind again?
But here’s the thing: I went from being a person who assumed people will bail me out to someone who took sole ownership and responsibility for my life. I can’t even begin to tell you, how much money my parents alone wasted on bills I didn’t pay, items I expected them to buy for me, geesh, I was truly the most selfish and spoiled brat of them all! I was not a pleasure to grow up with. Trust me.
I was a pathological liar. Yup. I hated how I was living and did what I could to get out of playing by the rules. This is classic Starseed DNA right here, as a Starseed’s DNA is always kind of a “rogue” or “rule breaker”. (Wait, what’s a Starseed? I’ll get into that later)…But I hated the rules of my home, and I lied, cheated and stole to get what I wanted. A little sociopath, mind you. Maybe that might help many people understand the dynamic I have today with current people in my life. It takes time for Karma to release you from your faults.
So, why did I awaken then? Well, as I see it, I was living on such a lower vibration for the first half of my life, and now the second half it was like I woke up out of a horrific nightmare! Relieved that time is but an illusion, and that although I messed up in the first half, I still have a life and still have reason to be here! So, I promised myself to allow this journey to unfold, and see where it takes me. Where it took me though…
I started learning about the term “Starseeds” a few years back, when I was trying to research the different ailments, physical, mental and emotional issues I was having from being awakened. When a soul awakens, there are effects the physical body goes through, as the physical body is 3 dimensional, and your soul is so much more! My anxiety increased along with my depression, I constantly didn’t feel like Earth was really my home. And most of all, I could feel and sense the energy of everyone around me, which seemed to be in turn, causing me to react to it in every sense of the word. So, if I was near someone who was crying, I would find myself feeling hurt in my heart, and I would end up crying too. If I was around someone who was mean, I could sense a darker energy around me to the point it would scare me and I needed to back away, or worse, I would react to it. This whole process has been called so many things, but the biggest term for what I have been going through is called, “Ascension”.
(credit to http://www.starseeds.net)
My energy vibration from my soul had woken up out of a sleep state in this 3 dimensional world, and was longing to return back to its origins. At least that’s what I’ve gotten out of it. I started looking towards the stars and realizing around 5 years old, I was obsessed with the sky. Amazingly enough, I was obsessed with Unicorns as well. I had an imaginary playmate who would play “Heaven” with me in my bedroom. And I remember pretending I was living in the sky, on a floor made of clouds, and everything was in this beautiful and majestic state of awareness that I couldn’t comprehend, but it was “home” to me. How does a 5 year old dream up stuff like that?
Going through the Ascension process, where your soul is awakening to moving from the 3 dimensional living to the 4th, 5th, and dimensions further up the line. As of right now, my soul is currently moving into the 5th dimension. Things I cannot explain happen around me. From being able to see auras and colors around a person’s body, to being able to feel a human’s energy vibration and helping that person to heal. My psychic awareness opened like a flower in full bloom, allowing me to hear my spiritual guides and angels. I can talk to them, understand them. And with that gift, I can now properly channel them. Beings I have channeled are Archangels. Mainly I have been able to channel Michael, Gabriel, Ariel, Uriel, and Cassiel. In terms of Ascended Masters, I have been able to channel Jesus, Mary, Hekate, Lakshmi and St. Germain. In terms of Spiritual Guides, I have been able to channel someone by the name of Galea. It was Galea who was able to tell me something most extraordinary recently during a channeling: My Soul Name, as well as my Soul Origin. I actually had to do it several times to make sure I was getting the right information. She was able to also confirm the symbol I have been writing, or “doodling” since before I could actually write. This symbol is my Soul Name. One day, I hope that I have the courage to tell you all that, but for now, as I am still learning, I would like to keep my name to myself.
In the end, I’m still me. Just on a deeper level now. I have an absolute respect for everyone’s journey. It’s amazing to be able to see that, and understand that judging someone negatively for their journey is just as dumb as judging someone for the color of their skin. In the end, we’re all one. We’re all in this together.