It is incredibly frustrating to try to put this all into words, so bear with me here. I’ve been wanting to type this out all evening, but my laptop is not working correctly, so I am out on the main computer, where I am inundated with boxes and clutter galore, getting ready for some big changes ahead.
(Me 9/2/2015…long day….Need much needed sleep now…)
Now, I know many of you have been reading up on the Ascension Process, and I hope that you have done more research as well as joined support groups that specialize in helping people through the big changes humanity is currently going through.
Now, for the naysayers, there’s no need to comment or criticize the things I say. I already know there are some people who think I’m a big old whackadoodle, and that’s okay. I am. But, I’m a whackadoodle who gives a shit about this world and the people who live in it, so thank you for your opinions, but right now there are not necessarily needed. I know many people do not believe in the Ascension process and the Awakening shifts. It’s okay! It’s hard to believe, I get it. When people surround themselves with doctrines that does not allow room for growth, it’s almost impossible to believe in things out of the ordinary. And maybe this is not the time for you to be going through what many others are dealing with. It doesn’t make anyone better or worse, because all of our journeys are just that sacred, that no one, not even me, has a right to say what you believe in.
The last several days I have been going through some inner turmoil when the Earth’s energy shifted around August 28th. It’s been a pattern that many people have been seeing since the major shifts occurred around December of 2012. And with the Blood/Supermoons surrounded the sacred Jewish holidays, prophecies have been foretold and let’s face it: some of it is actually happening. Our financial institutions are taking hits, the Karmic year I originally stated in one of my blogs at the beginning of the year is in full force. What does this mean? Look at China, Greece, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, The Ferguson shootings, Police brutality, Ashley Madison, Earthquakes and Mudslides….It is indeed, a karmic year. It means that things that people, governments, companies, banks, and other primary forces did wrong back in the day are kind of coming back to bite them in the tookus. In Wicca, it’s the Wiccan Rede, in Christianity, it’s the Golden Rule. Treat others the way you were meant to be treated. Do unto others the way you do unto me. The Three-Fold Law: What you reap, you sow. I’ve been saying this for years: “Board up your glass houses before throwing stones”…Jesus even stated in the Bible, “He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone…”
So, take this karmic year, add the energy shifts/gamma rays that the Earth is physically experiencing, as well as people’s spiritual philosophies are evolving, and you have a recipe for Ascension symptoms! Today alone was brutal for me, as I’m about to explain what happen to myself in my own little world.
The last several days have been tough. I’ve been experiencing additional emotions that I already deal with on a daily basis. What that means is that my patience, although already low, was felt more acutely. I have been feeling nothing but tension in the air, even though there have been no reasons for my tension. I have a happy home life, am madly in love, and am about to embark on an amazing journey that I haven’t had in my life since 2007. So, life in all has been nice. But why haven’t I been feeling it? I’ve been feeling edgy, cranky, tired…oh my goodness…so tired! You would think I was pregnant! Falling asleep at 8pm and not being able to wake up the next day. Or some nights I’m wide awake till near midnight and feel fully refreshed and ready to go at 5am!
My chest has been tightening. Not because of any physical pulmonary ailments. No, stress, anxiety and overall chaos in my head have been giving me straight up panic attacks. And even still, I wear a smile on my face and try to save face to those around me, because I don’t want what’s going on inside of me to become fodder for those who don’t care to or won’t understand. People don’t think I don’t hear what is being said about me. People who I thought loved and cared about me, really have hidden agendas. As much as my own family hates to admit it to me, I’m glad my own family is honest enough to remind me I am still very much naïve and vulnerable to the attacks that go on behind my back.
And still I smile.
Today, though…where to begin? I woke up after finally getting a semi-decent night sleep. I woke up only once for about 45 minutes, so to me that was a successful sleep. Usually I can be up hours in the middle of the night. If I had the ability to sleep in until 9-10 AM every day, I might consider that a decent sleep habit. On my way to work I felt just sad. I don’t know why. I just felt sad. I was thinking of the things I needed to do today at work, and although I was grateful I had no meetings today, and no crazy expectations that needed to be made, I still felt panicked about…something. So, for the last 20 minutes of my drive, I cried. For no reason other than I knew my body needed to release something.
Cut to getting into work. I was sitting at my desk waiting for my computer to log on, when my chest started tightening again. I felt ridiculously uncomfortable. I was cold, then hot, then cold again. Thank goodness no one else was near me. I pulled my pant legs up and started fanning my knees. Next thing I knew my legs became incredibly restless. They were bobbing up and down and I couldn’t get them to stop. I was literally gripping onto my arm skin, feeling like I needed to shed myself somehow. Like the feeling of being in my own body was so debilitating. What the hell was going on with me? I started sweating and I felt like I was going to pass out. I knew I was having another panic attack. At this point I literally was thinking of the Clonzapin and Xanax that was sitting in my nightstand, knowing full well I hadn’t touched these pills in well over a year, and here I was contemplating driving home to grab some. I felt desperate. But I have been off my medication for over a year, and I am a better person because of it. What was going on with me today, and most recently is a phenomena that I am not used to. Our bodies are made to heal themselves, and there are plants, botanicals, weeds, oils, seeds and other natural products Gaia gave us on this Earth to utilize. And ever since I started using them, I know my symptoms of what I deal with have dwindled.
(Happy Me with some Kratom Tea)
But today, oy today was different.
(We’re ascending baby! UGH)
I quick grabbed a cup of Kratom tea and drank it, while putting on some BiNaural Beats on YouTube, in hopes that my brain would calm herself down and allow my body to calm down. It took 3 cups of tea and a respite out in my car at lunchtime to finally get that calm. 4 ½ hours, though, was pure torment. I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t do much but watch the time and pray that I could get outside and into nature to relieve myself of whatever toxins inside of me wanted out. Even now, thinking about it, I don’t EVER want to feel what I went through this morning EVER again. But most likely, I will. Because it’s all part of the process. If it means I need to detox myself physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically in order to achieve that feeling of completion with God, I’m going to do whatever I can, even if it means moving through hell and back.
We have a UNIVERSAL DESIRE to want to complete our relationship with God. The feeling of separation is so powerful anymore that thousands of people are feeling it. I am in an amazing support group for people going through the Ascension process and apparently today was a rough day for MANY people. All we can do is continue to rest our bodies and keep our minds and spirits calm. Especially now that the veils between the world are beginning to thin with Autumn beginning, many are feeling the effects of that too. But I know the world is going through great changes. And we are part of these great changes. And many times, great changes come great conflicts. Our old consciousness…the ego itself…is dying; and trust me, it’s not going down without a fight. Why wouldn’t it want to put you through torment? It doesn’t want to go! And it’s going to make you think you NEED the ego! You do NOT. We are spiritual beings living a physical existence. We GOT this. Great pains we are going through, but can you only imagine the great rewards to sticking it out?
Continue to love, people. Continue to fight for your love and fight for your right to love. We are all amazing light beings who are a part of the one true creator who makes us who we are. Slowly we are ascending back to our creator. We are traveling and leaving the 3rd dimension. It’s not going to be easy.
But then again, if it was easy, everyone would do it. The hard, is what makes it so great.
Get some rest. You don’t need to join a gym or a spa to get that respite. Take a bath. Anoint yourself with precious oils. Meditate. Drink herbal teas. Listen to your favorite music. Walk in the rain. Keep your body cool. Wash your face. Drink lots of water. And remember: You’re going to be just FINE. I promise you that. xoxo