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Taking that Other Path in the Fork Of the Road…

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One of my favorite sayings I like to say when I feel I need to have a heart to heart with someone – I like to call it a “Come to Jesus” talk.  Sometimes the most amazing and profound events in our lives tend to be also hilariously ironic.  This is precisely the case over the last couple months.

I’m going to tell you something that I didn’t think I would EVER utter to anyone.  This includes my husband, my sons, my parents, my sisters, my family and devoted friends.  I don’t necessarily know why I need to bear witness to this, but I do believe it’s time for me to speak out.  Since November 18, 2016, I’ve been quietly obsessing over it, because of how much it changed me.  And mark my word: I am changed.  Incidentally, my son Tim told me last night, “Mom, I don’t know about you, but there is something really DIFFERENT about you that I’ve noticed the last several weeks.”

At this point, only a collective few, including my husband and son, know what happened.

I’ve been on an incredible journey, and I guess now, it’s okay to talk about it.

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First things first: I was born with the addiction gene in my DNA.  And this gene has taken front and center throughout my life. Food, prescription drugs, relationships, spirituality, you name it, if my heart felt a flutter, I took it for all it was.  Kind of like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Right now, my latest addiction seems to be on something I have taken for granted for many many years.

I am finding it very challenging to really put into words what I want to say. But trust me on this:  This will probably be a long post, because I believe once I get talking, it’s hard to stop.

Most of the time my head tends to be in the clouds, thinking and dreaming of things that I want, not just for myself, but everyone I love.  However, something needs to be said, when your life has been on this particular journey and living this particular belief, when all of a sudden it comes to an abrupt stop for no reason.  And like the flip of a switch, everything that I believed in, held and cherished for so many years, started to dissipate.

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Going back:  The moment I first felt a twinge in my spirituality was when I was a semi-practicing Catholic.  This spiritual “awakening”, so-to-speak, occurred in the early months of 2004.  4 years later, in 2008, I was beginning my life without my soon-to-be ex-husband and found myself delving into another type of spirituality, which many called Paganism. It was something darker than what I had been used to, and yet it fascinated me to my core nonetheless.  Honestly?  I fell in love with Paganism.  Not just because of the rituals or clothing or music, but because I felt I could hold MYSELF accountable for things, rather than feel like some heavenly parental figure is up in the skies waiting for me.  For 4 years, I laid low, while continuing to practice as a Catholic, while secretly delving deep into practicing Paganism.  But I still loved Jesus.  That never swayed.  I truly believed in the heart of my hearts that my love for Jesus actually grew from my studies, and found I started calling myself a Christo-Pagan. (There is such a religion that exists).

In 2012, I finally made the decision to leave the Catholic Church, and be open about loving my Earth Spirituality.  In essence, I called it that because Paganism has a societal stigma that causes people to believe that all who practice it are devil-worshiping, animal sacrificing, followers of Satan.  I need to tell you all this – Paganism is NOT devil worshiping.  Pagans actually don’t believe in the devil.  It angered me so much, that I wanted to prove to the world my spirituality was if anything, stronger than when I was a practicing Catholic.  I joined a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, then became a leader in the community guiding and teaching like-minded individuals who saw and felt the same as I. I finally thought I was home in my faith.  Being able to love God, Jesus and Mary and the Saints and Angels, all while dedicating myself to Mother Earth by committing myself to the fundamentals of holding rituals honoring not just them, but all the deities that all the cultures in the world were made up of.  I felt I was co-existing with Mother Earth herself and I was a handmaiden to her services.  As the years passed, I realized Jesus, Mary, the Saints and the Angels started to take a back burner to other deities whom I wanted to learn and study.  I’ll be honest.  I tried.  I really did.  But it never felt the same.  Literally, I would thank a deity for something they gave me, but if I found myself in trouble, I called on Jesus.  I knew it, and yet continued to block my mind of the hypocrisy I was finding myself in.  Deep in.  How dangerous it was for me to think just because another religion doesn’t believe in something like the devil, didn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

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How funny it was, then, when Jesus decided to take a stand for His cause, and call me back to the land of His living, and in the WEIRDEST place possible.

Jesus has an incredible sense of humor, I’ll tell ya.

In the Autumn of 2016 (funny, 4 years from the last opened door), I started studying Hinduism.  I was listening to a lot of Hindi music, while trying to practice some of the festival rituals that are held usually on the other side of the world.  I even wrote a blog about it here!!!!!

But if you are a subscriber or devoted follower to my website, you know that this was my last blog.  November 6, 2016.  Exactly TWO weeks later, I fell off the proverbial ledge and went underground, like Persephone in the old Greek tales.  For those two weeks, I lingered down there, because something was troubling me.  I felt a weight on my shoulders and my chest was so heavy I couldn’t explain, let alone breathe.  And then it happened.

November 18, 2016.  I took a shower.

I know, that was anti-climatic.  I just wanted you all to take a deep breath, cause we’re about to go down that rabbit hole.

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Okay, so…Here’s where it gets weird:

It started out as nothing special.  It was a Friday night, and my husband was out getting our food after dropping off my step-son at his mothers, my son was at a friend’s for the evening.  It was just me and my doggie, Linus.  I turned on some Native American music in our bedroom and strolled naked into the bathroom where I felt I could take a nice long, hot shower all by myself.  There’s a freedom you feel when you have that alone time, and this was no exception.  I was singing and dancing in the shower, taking my time to clean myself, when all of a sudden, I felt a presence with me.  I turned around, and SO HELP ME GOD,  Jesus was standing in the shower with me.

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I wish I was making this up, but this is the stone cold truth.

There was nothing perverted, obviously, but more or less the shock value from my end created a moment of ice-breakage.  He stood there with his arms crossed, not getting a bit wet, and said, “Sister, WHAT are you doing?”  He had on a white robe, with what looked like a violet colored sash.  He looked exactly like I had always pictured Him.

Frightened wasn’t the word.  Stunned?  Even more so.  I told Jesus that I was taking a shower as He could see, thinking even for a second that maybe this was all being made up in my head, questioning in my head if I fell in the shower and blacked out, did I have wine I forgot I was drinking? But this….this was real. He said, “Don’t patronize me, Bridget! You KNOW what I’m talking about.  ANOTHER RELIGION?  Am I really THIS bad that you want to look for more salvation in something else because you can SEE it?” He sounded exasperated, if not annoyed to the core.

AND STILL, I kept thinking this was all being made up in my head.

And then in a loud, booming voice, He said:

“Do you REALLY want to ruin ALL that you have created up there?”

And the most frightening to me, He said,

“Am I really not enough for you?”

I immediately felt a twinge of pain, or maybe it was guilt, because I couldn’t understand what the HELL was going on, but apparently Jesus was legitimately upset with me.  Upon realizing this, He then sighed and said something I’ll never forget:

“I want you to sing a song for me”, He said, “Remember that song you used to sing in choir, called ‘Hosea?’  Sing that for me. I like to think this is ‘OUR’ song.”  (now, in any other circumstance, anytime given the chance to sing in the shower, I’m going to make that sh** happen.)  But at this point I was having a heated conversation with Jesus in the SHOWER and the fear in me rose up, so I started singing quite softly:

 

“Come back to me, with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart.

Trees do bend, though straight and tall, so must we to others call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you, to your heart where I will speak.

Integrity, and justice, with tenderness, you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.”

 

And just like that, 12 years of my life slowly washed away, like a silent tsunami coming in the middle of the night without any warning.

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Everything I was, everything I THOUGHT I was, everything I thought I was going to be, disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I stood in the shower, looking down on my hands as the water was running off of me, and realized I was alone again.  But this was different: I felt a loneliness I never felt before, and not only was it suffocating, it was profoundly heartbreaking.  I started sobbing to the point I was shaking like someone hit me with a cattle prod. I started banging my fists on the wall of the shower so hard, bottles started falling off the shower shelf.  I started screaming “I’m sorry!  I’m SORRY! What have I done?  I’m so sorry!  Please forgive me!!!!”  But Jesus was no longer there.  I was utterly alone.  I fell to my knees in absolute despair and realized what a fool I was. For over a decade I acted like I loved him and knew him, all the while allowing other things to get in the way; it was the most horrible act of defiance and dishonesty I ever did in my entire life.

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And now I was alone.  It was the darkest moment of my life to date.

But then I heard Him.  And I felt this almost heated warmth flow through my body, as if I was encapsulated within something like an incubator.  As I continued to sob on my knees, water still running, I heard Him:

“Shhhhhhh….Bridget Ohhhhhhh sweetheart, I know…..Welcome back!  Welcome back.  It’s alright.  It’s alright.  Just cry it out.  I never left you, no matter how much you wanted me to let you go, I just couldn’t.  And you know what?  You didn’t want to let go either.  It’s why you kept me silently close to you all these years, even when you told others I wasn’t there….shhhhhhh, no more tears.  It’s over.  The pain has been washed away….I made sure of this.  No more tears, Bridget.  Breathe in your new life.”

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How does one recover from something like that?

I decided to delve into that part of me that has been in-fact, reborn.

I started reading the Bible.  I stopped doing earthly rituals that benefited my wants.  I began to walk on the side I promised myself 12 years ago I would never come back to.  I went back to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, where they welcome all creeds.  I opted NOT to go to a Christian church at first, well, mainly because my brain still has a belief that so many of these big-built theater-like churches are all ego-based ministry trying to pull people in for money and numbers.  Don’t get me wrong, let me explain before I get scolded:  I’m not saying they are ALL this way, it’s just how my brain has been perceiving this for so many years, I can’t remember when the thought first entered my mind. Nevertheless, I started watching documentaries on the Bible, on Christianity as a whole, on Jesus’ humanity and divinity.  And continued to go to the UU Fellowship until I realized I needed something more.

Most importantly, I got back to praying.  At least, the kind of praying I used to do years ago, now with a better understanding rather than I was “told” to say it.

I began listening to people like Kat Kerr, who has been given the gift of visions of Heaven.  And I then realized in an instant, that’s where my focus is going to be.

Heaven.

And what I need to do to get there.

I realized over the last several weeks that everything that I want, my garden, my homestead, future animals like chickens and goats, my front porch farm stand….all of it – has been cooking up in my brain and my heart with the absolute faith that one day I’ll get there.  So, why now is this happening?  Why has Jesus decided to make his presence known in the way it was presented?

I took some time to think about everything.  The shower.  Water.  Emotion.  Water is all about emotion.  And whenever I take a shower, I like to think when the water is falling on me, all the crap and muck from the day is being washed away.

So yeah, in a very different but just as intimate way, I was reborn again.

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What does this mean for the earthly spiritual Bridget who loves to talk about angels, mother earth and the seasons?  Well, just hold on a sec.  I’m still here.  I’m still Bridget. I think that if anything, all my beliefs I have, are just that.  I can’t change what I truly believe to be true, as feelings are neither right nor wrong.  I think it has to do with what and more importantly, HOW we use our beliefs that makes up our character.

So, in the last several weeks, I’ve undergone much change.  And it has been an amazing journey.

But you know what? I’m still burning sage, collecting crystals and such.  But now I have a more intimate understanding of my uses for them. But no worries, I’m still the querky eclectic Bridget that will do anything to get people to smile.

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I’m also going to continue celebrating the seasons through the Celtic Wheel of the Year method.  Ancient farmers used this method, it wasn’t just religious symbolism. Many organic farmers today still work with the moon and the seasons of the year based on these ancient traditions, and not modern commercialism.  So, as far as I’m concerned, Winter is over and Spring is here!  It is early Spring, so things are still dead and it’s pretty damn cold outside.  But some of my potted bulbs outside that don’t get hit with the frost are peeking out already.  As far as I’m concerned, the days of Light and Life are coming back.

I know I may lose friends over this revelation, and that’s okay.  Just as people evolve, I am sure relationships go through the same course.

Today my BFF Jenny and her amazing boyfriend Steven, took me to my first Christian service in what has been many years.  Over the last week, I got to speak to my cousin, Jerry, who told me he was overjoyed and filled with so much love and happiness for me for my conversion and is looking forward to talking with me more.

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have met with so much amazing positive manifestations with my personal life in health and career.  I have found myself immersed into personal Bible study and watching videos that seem to be calling me to watch.  Each day I wake up, I ask for Grace, even though I am not worthy of it.  I pray to have a good day and make good decisions.  And each day has been wonderful.  I feel like a child.  I’m learning all over again.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be saved. But I do know, that feeling the presence of Jesus in my life has turned my life around.  Everything that I am is changed.  But, I am still Bridget.  I promise you that.  I am still open minded.  Still an empathic bad-ass.  Still a devout lover of Mother Earth.  I’m just understanding my life a bit differently now. I’m understanding my spirit now.  And most importantly, I’m understanding my heart.

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This website will eventually change on some levels.  My store will come down and hopefully I will be able to change my tax id to my alias name, The Bohemian Hobbit.  The Spiral Willow will be closing.  My tinctures and teas will still be around, and hopefully one day, I will be selling other things more deserving of my journey. If you are interested in buying certain things on my site, I will be posting them on my Facebook page, The Bohemian Hobbit until all is sold out. I will still be writing about Ascension, Homesteading, Permaculture, my love for Hobbits (well, DUH!), and of course, Spirituality.  But in order for me to write from my heart, you will undoubtedly see the change in my writing.  If you no longer feel comfortable with my writings, know I completely understand and you have every right to go.  I will let you go freely with so much love and admiration, you’ll definitely feel it!!!!

As we begin the week for Valentine’s Day, I find it no coincidence that outside my husband and children, I have fallen madly in love with Jesus and becoming a born-again Christian.  Take that as you will, all I know is that I stand here in witness, to tell you, that I have been changed.  I am changed.  What happened to me, was supernatural.  Was intensely beautiful, and like I said, life – CHANGING.

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And I will pray for the rest of my life this change will not only eventually save me, but will help me walk on a path to save and serve others.

I love you,

Bridget

The Bohemian Hobbit

 

 

The Ascension Series: Fear and Escaping Through the Art of Astral Traveling…

This morning, within a matter of 30 seconds, I read of 8 deaths. 2 by suicide, 5 at the hands of 1 of the suicides, and 1 by the grace of our Creator.  Then I read one of my favorite local pubs had a devastating fire. All this happened yesterday.

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Breathe, Bridget.  Breathe…

The last few nights it seems my soul has been escaping to other dimensions or other places that seem so real, that if I didn’t wake up, I’d probably be OK.  Now, don’t get me wrong, reading those words is not a cry for help for something bigger and deeper brewing inside of me.  No, not at all.  In fact, only 1 time in the whole of my 42 years did I ever question my mortality.  I actually love my life, and looking forward to living much more of it.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to escape from time to time. Especially when I read things like what I read this morning, I’d do anything to just close my eyes and go somewhere else.

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Over the last several years, I have been experiencing what you would call, “otherworldly” dreams and astral traveling.  If you’ve never astral traveled, you’re missing out.  There is nothing more liberating and thrilling than allowing your soul, still tethered to your body, to lift up and out, while it travels to places unknown that your physical body cannot go to yet.

In the beginning, I remember going up to my ceiling, and going out as far as my living room.  It’s frightful in the beginning, because I felt these tingling sensations, almost like sleep paralysis, but I knew that if I moved, I would be brought right back into my body.  No, I needed to venture out.  My soul knew deep inside there was more than the 3 dimensional prison we have been placed inside, with so many of us truly believing that THIS is our only home, that this is where we should be and we can never ever leave. That this indeed, was all we had. Sadly, there are still millions of people in our world that believe that. They are sleeping soundly, and seeing the continued war, political prowess, and evil doings within our humanity, it’s a wonder our higher selves and spiritual guides are at times, hesitant to come forth.

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If you are just reading this for the first time and you are saying to yourself, “what makes you think I’m sleeping?  Just because I don’t believe in this crap you talk about doesn’t mean I’m ‘sleeping’…”

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Well, my dear one…you are.
And really, I am SO sorry to tell you that.

Look, I want you to think about something.

Why do you believe we are the only ones out there?  Why do you believe no one more powerful isn’t hiding things from us?  Why do you believe that we have to “obey” and “consume” in order to survive? Here’s a word for you that I am thinking is very important in your vocabulary.

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FEAR.
Fear, my child, is the very essence to why so many humans are still “sleeping”. We have been driven in this world by fear. Fear of the unknown.  Fear of difference. Fear of change. The people who run this world drive this home to each and every one of us by things like food, drink, medicine, media, money, and so much more.

Monsanto is good for you, why?  Because they are the only ones who can feed you at this point.  Medicine is good for you, why?  Because they are the only ones who can make you FEEL better.  War is good, why? Because those people are different, and therefore bad and we are all the same, therefore we are good, and therefore we have to drive the bad out.
We live in a world of FEAR.  Our lives are controlled by FEAR. And allowing yourself to remain fearful of these very things, are what keeps these people in power, STAY in power. I mean, look at my news feed for example.  In 30 seconds, I learned of EIGHT deaths.  Fear of death is the most feared thing in our world.  Why?  Because we learned at a young age that death means separation.  Death means change.  Death means sadness.  And human being thrive on being together, all being the same, all being happy.  So, those in power FEED us with fear.  Hoping that we stay right where we are at.
I no longer follow this way any longer.  I decided to change.  I decided to be different.  I decided to create rather than consume. I decided to look at fear in the face and say, NOT TODAY.
So, I learned how to escape.  Not with alcohol or drugs, not with sex or gluttonous food or frivolous spending. No, I went deeper.  I went right to the heart of my humanity.  I went to my soul.  And I told my soul, “Let’s go somewhere.  Let’s get outta here for a bit.”

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And so I did.  I started dreaming. I started allowing my body to release that fear by allowing my soul to break away from my body and explore what I craved to understand. And the moment I decided to let this happen, magic came into my life.  It’s been so many years since I started this, I can’t really pinpoint the exact date.  But I DO know, that as I grow older, my soul grows wiser, and I find myself exploring different worlds, different dimensions, different universes.  I started learning about my own soul’s ascension, lion’s gate and other portals into the universal consciousness.  WE ARE LOVE.

So why do we fear?  If there was a time to break away from this fear pattern, this would be now.  I did it.  And for those that know me, if I can do it, ANYONE can. I’m about as hard headed as they come. But I did it, and it’s a freedom that sometimes can be SO overwhelming I just start crying.

Last night my soul escaped to another plane of consciousness.  It felt like I was on a spaceship, but was like another Earth.  I was told I was STILL on Earth, but on a different dimension.  It felt like I was thousands of miles away from my home, my bed, my life, my world. I remember the ONLY thing I felt pain was the distance between me and my son.  I wanted him there with me, and made it clear to the people in charge of this ship that I wanted him there.  The assured me my son was fine, and that he WOULD be fine.  They told me they wanted me to stay.  I told them I could not stay forever, but that I would stay for awhile.  I explored the ship, which felt like a cross between a hospital, a home and a school. I walked outside of the “commander” office, and wanted to explore everything.  I walked into what seemed like bedrooms, bathrooms, and long hallways.  I looked outside and saw trees and grass with shades of green that I’ve never seen before. It was as if everything was iridescent, or metallic in nature.  So pristine, so beautiful. I was feeling sick and very worried that my son Tim wasn’t with me, so they told me to drink this water and it would make me better.  The water was clearer than anything water I’d ever seen in my life. It made me feel energized and motivated.

I remember being told to go visit my parents.  I hopped on a spaceship and ever so smoothly, glided through the black vastness of space, towards an area that had these homes that were built up, almost as if they were floating in the sky. I recognized this home as my parents home, and proceeded to dock my ship.  I had with me my husband and 3 children, but they were little girls. As I approached their doors, I saw people laying in lounge chairs outside, as my Dad came towards me, I saw my Mom helping one of the people laying on the chairs. He kissed and hugged me, and told me that they were caring for refugees from another planet, who came here for solace from a war that was going on. I then realized it was MY Earth they were talking about.  They looked so sick.  My Mom was feeding them that water I had on the command ship. My Dad told me to go upstairs and seek refuge from the impending storm coming through.  The 5 of us went upstairs and found a bedroom with 4 twin beds.  The three girls pushed their beds together to create one gigantic bed, while my husband and I tried to figure out how we would sleep with just one twin bed.  I remember walking about my parents home, and seeing that so much of it was not being used.  Blank walls, furniture under white sheets, very stark. But all I kept thinking about was my son.

Before I knew it, I was back on the command ship, and realized I missed my son TOO much, and next thing I knew, I felt myself open my eyes and I realized I was in my bed, laying next to my husband, and my son was standing above me going, “Good morning Mom”.  It was 9:48 AM today. (Sunday)

I laid in bed, feeling a little sad about leaving where I was, but grateful I got to look into my son’s big brown eyes. Fear still lives within me.  The fear of separation. I learned long ago my son is a much more advanced soul, an incredibly old one for that matter, and that he is here to teach me many many lessons. He is a soul family member, as is my Godson, Brandon.  I still try to figure out who is in my soul family, and who are just passers by in this life of mine.  I truly hate having that fear of separation. And I think these trips I am taking is helping me understand that separation isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  But right now, I’m grateful I don’t have it. I need my son in my life like a person needs air to breathe.

So although I can escape my realities to explore others, in the end, and right now, THIS is my home. And in understanding that, I need to learn to NOT fear while being here. But let me tell you, it sure is fun to get away every now and then. 😉

If you are interested in learning more about astral traveling, different dimensions and other planets/universes, please feel free to contact me.

Namaste,

Bridget

Samhain and the Time of No Time…An Earth Spiritualist’s POV…

wheel_of_the_year    Today I was listening to the Starz’ Series Outlander Volume 1 and 2 Soundtrack on my computer and couldn’t help but feel a jolt of excitement.  Samhain is coming up next week, and if anyone has watched the Outlander Series, Claire’s journey begins on the feast of Samhain.  (Mind you, the book is different and shows that her journey begins on Beltane, but I kind of like this change, since Samhain is literally strewn in mystery, which is what time traveling is all about, right?)

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Samhain.  The end and yet the beginning of the Celtic New Year.  Halloween itself started about 1300 years ago in the Celtic Isles, however Samhain has been around much much longer than that.  This Holy Day, was the original holy day of obligation that many today know it as All Saints/All Souls Day.  The ORIGINAL holiday was called Samhain or Samhuinn (pronounced SAH-WHEN).

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(Samhain Ritual and Celebration at Columcille Megalith Park in Bangor, PA 2013 – Photo taken by Sean DeStephano)

So, how can I go from understanding myself as a Galactic Starseed during this Ascension process yet still can resonate with my Earthly bound needs?  Well, for me it’s quite simple.  Our souls are galactically bound to the Heavens, to our Creator.  It’s so vast and so strong and powerful, there is no denying where our souls come from. (at least in my opinion).  However, we are humans of the Earth right now, and we asked to be a part of this planet to learn the lessons our souls need right now.  And there is no doubt, no doubt, in my mind, how connected I am to Mother Earth.

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From gardening, to the Moon, to understanding my body’s wants and needs, and how this is all connected to the core of my humanness, my soul.  See, what many people don’t either understand or care to want to educate themselves on is that these Earth Spirituality faiths were the original religions.  Yes, I know it may come as a shock to many, but these “religions” came before Judiasm, before Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, and so on.  What has happened today is that Jesus’ legacy was severely altered by subjecting those followers to believe that honoring the planet we walk upon should be viewed as “evil”.  Men perversed the Earth religions because it overpowered their own beliefs.  How the written word has literally been changed time and time again over thousands of years.  How sad is that????  Think about it this way:  You decide to start a company.  You begin in the trenches and work your way from the bottom.  Then, something happens…people start buying into your business.  You make enough money and some big investment firm offers you a proposition that you simply could NOT turn way.  You leave your company in the hands of those who never knew what you had to do to get where you are today.  Fast forward 5 years, and everything you originally started the company was no longer there.  The product changed.  The logo changed.  The mission statement changed.  Everything you thought of, dreamed of, was gone.  Why?  Because someone else decided they wanted to make it different.  And all it takes is a little marketing and boom….it’s a new brand.

This is precisely what happened here.  The old religions were shunned aside, making way for something different.  And I mean, come on, let’s look at Christianity.  The teachings Jesus taught.  Do you REALLY think that’s what the church stands for today?  I’m not looking for debate here, I’m not looking to insult anyone’s faith.  In fact, I love Christianity.  Well, the way it WAS, at least.  I live in a way, a Christian life.  I am kind to EVERYONE, even those who have hurt me.  I forgive.  I work hard and am humble. (at least I try to be).  I try to set a good example for my children.  I am loyal.  And I believe EVERYONE is welcome to enjoy the glories of eternal life, no matter WHAT faith you walk by.

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But see, I’m more than that.  I wish you could feel what I feel when I go outside at night and look up at the Moon.  Or when I light some incense and close my eyes and think about how I can be a better person in life.  Or a take a set of cards and lay them out, trying to find out what I need to do to work on myself.  Or when I stand in front of a table, with statues or pictures of people I love and honor, and pray to help me here in life.  Now, let me ask you:  Do I sound like a person who is evil?  Do you think I am playing with fire?  Because that’s truly what people think.    I’ve learned to let it go, no matter how much it breaks my heart.  But my love of this planet, my creator, and everyone around it is MORE important than a few people who think I am damned to eternal fires.  It just has to be this way.

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(The Moon from our deck just now)

This coming weekend I will be spending a quiet evening with a couple of people I am incredibly close to.  My next of kin outside my own blood family.  And we will be honoring those who have passed on, especially those in the last year.  I have a list of friend’s relatives, family and friends who have been asked to be put on my special intentions list, and we will be remembering them that evening.  I will call them to join us for dinner, and to stay with us in deep and spiritual meditation, reminding them how much they were loved here, and how they will never be forgotten.  In Latin communities, they call it Dia De Los Muertos.  In Christian communities, they call it All Saints/All Souls Day.  Again, let me ask you, why is it okay for those in those communities to do what I do, yet what I do is evil?  Asking people to let down their guard, as well as their egos, can be quite a challenge.  But I always welcome this conversation, because I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they believe in.  And as long as they respect me the way I respect them, we will live in more harmony.

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(Ritual of Dia De Los Muertos in Mexico)

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(Catholic Cemetery honoring All Souls Day in Bangladesh)

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(Traditional Altar honoring the ancestors at Samhain)

Samhain is a time of reflection, a time where we go into a void until the Winter Solstice, which is the beginning of Yule, the welcoming back of the sun, or in Christian communities, the Son.  I love this time of year, because it is an amazing experience to really go inward, and let go of your ego, and you realize what true humility is like.  It’s precious, and I take advantage of every moment I have in reflective solitude.

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I am going to begin doing classes for those who are interested in my path.  I look forward to helping people on their path, whether it is along my side, or on a different road.  Either way, I will always be there for those who need me.

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Another great thing about the next several weeks of being in “no time”, is in that reflection, I will find more time for my art.  My art in writing, painting, drawing, and other crafts.  If you are interested in a painting or drawing or anything of that matter, please let me know.  I have found my best work, albeit in my poetry and artwork, always comes between November and the first 3 weeks of December.  My inspiration?  The skies at Sunset.  Trust me when I say they are extraordinary.

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(December 2013 Sunset near Appalachian Mountains)

Will you be participating in anything honoring your ancestors this week?  If so, how?  I love to hear about what everyone is going to be doing.

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Photo:Copyright JOE;CONLON;ATHBOY;;;

(Photo:  Joe Conlon)

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The Ascension Series: A Download of a Moment In Between Lives…

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Sometimes it hits me like a mac truck, other times, it comes flowing gently like a sea breeze…

The dreams and feelings are coming back. It’s been a couple months since I wrote about Ascension. But, today these feelings, that can go so deep into my body, are coming back and back in full force. Sometimes, all it takes is a song, a picture, or something my body seems to react to, before I get a download of information from those outside our physical realm. Yes, I do a lot of channeling but do not talk about it because it took many years for me to realize it wasn’t my own ego. Today I saw this picture:

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And immediately my body started to tingle and tears welled up in my eyes. I immediately became what many would view as homesickness.

I didn’t ask for this. I never wanted to be like this. To have these abilities. I can’t even begin to start the bullying I get for who I am. I’m no one special, and yet I am very special. I wish I could make this go away sometimes and just be “normal”, whatever that definition truly represents. It’s bad enough there are people in my life that think I am a complete whackadoodle, but I also know that if I continue to keep these thoughts, these ideas, these feelings, deep within me, I will eventually implode.

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But then, I look at pictures, listen to certain music, and my heart opens up SO wide that fear strikes almost immediately that people will take that vulnerability and attack it with full force.

Someone once said that it would be pretty arrogant of us to think that out of all in the universe, WE are the only beings that live within it.  Even with NASA and other scientists around the world who are finally coming out to admit there IS life outside this planet, people STILL don’t believe it.

Here’s a bit of a fun thought:  Most of us in this world do not originate from Earth. I know that’s hard for people to comprehend. Because right now, at this very moment, this is all we know. Earth is all we know. But so many of us have experienced so many lifetimes on this planet, as well as other planets and universes, that it would be too much for our minds to take in all at once. It’s why we reincarnate. It’s why we have Akashic Records. Between lives, we have the ability to sit down and go over all of our lives, check patterns and see what areas in our soul’s evolution do we still need to work on.

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For me, it’s forgiveness on both sides of the coin. It is truly one of my greatest challenges. So, this life I am leading now I have been challenged literally in all areas of forgiveness from the time I was very little. To learn about forgiving someone and to be forgiven. I have surrendered myself to let things happen as they come. And learn from every one of my mistakes, whether they were self-inflicted or done unto me.

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Right now, I have a home sickness for a place my Earth life cannot remember. I see a vast city, full of white buildings. Crystalline palaces and roads that were so iridescent that one would think you could see right through them. Colors our earthly eyes cannot understand. Plants and trees no one has ever imagined. The air is so pure it is intoxicating to our lungs. Now, some people would call this “Heaven.” And you know, maybe it is! I don’t know. All I know is that it is my home. And right now my heart and soul is longing to be there.

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Now, before people get freaked out…No, I am NOT insinuating I am depressed, suicidal, or anything of that matter. All I am stating is that my soul is continuing its ascension process and every once in a while I get a jolt of something that brings me to a new level. Right now, I just hit a new one. Lately, these jolts have been somewhat painful. But this one…Oh this one, is lovely. It helps me remember why I love Earth so much. Why I love gardening so much. I realized earlier that in this other world, I worked in the agriculture area, as a gardener and animal care taker. I live on the outskirts of this city, near water and forests of such lush, green beauty that I can almost taste it!

You want to take a walk with me in this? Read on as the download commences…

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There is some sort of platform on the edge of this world, where ships of all kinds land. It helps keep the atmosphere of the world at peak levels. There are waterfalls all around this landing area to help ionize the chemicals that may come into the atmosphere. There are very little stairs in this world, as most of the places higher up have ramps. Getting off the ship and onto the base itself is quite simple. However the trek to the city is where the world is going to be at. Mainly because there are very little vehicles allowed in this world for travel, so most people travel by foot, or if you have the flight ability, float or fly. I have a small ability towards flight, but I don’t use it much, so I find myself walking mostly. The road to the city is amazing. Tall trees that look Willows but have the bark of Birch line the forests. Animals are everywhere, and are kind to the beings of this planet. All the animals on this planet are Herbivores. The clothes I am wearing are a bluish/grayish/purplish in nature, and I am wearing pants, a shirt and a long coat/robe over it. I have grayish boots on with material that resembles sheep wool. The air smells of jasmine, so I must assume it is Springtime. I do know that this world experiences mostly Spring, Summer and Autumn. The Winter is dry and cold, but unlike the freezing temperatures the Northeast of the US gets. Most of the time the weather is quite pleasant, with very little rain. Yet the plants continue to thrive, mainly because of a hydro/aquaponics technique that flows underground with the rivers and oceans on the planet. So, the plants get their water from underground.

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After walking a couple hours I come to a clearing, where there is a massive marble wall that lines the city limits. I know I am close to home. I veer off to the left, which is where my home is. I can see it from here, down into the valley, the grass is like a Kelley green. I can see the goats from where I am standing, and some are coming towards me, as they recognize who I am. Yes, I am a goat farmer. (which makes me understand my love of goat cheese on Earth). I live with about 14 people, mainly family members, spread out on a ranch that is not like the ranches we see in the US. No, the buildings of my ranch are 1 floor, very long and wide. There are no windows, mainly because there is very little wind ever. The ranch itself is very open. It’s made of white stone, which almost resembles a white adobe, only much larger. I live on the Southeast end of the city, right inside the entrance.

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The last time I was home, there were only about 5-6 people living there, as the others were incarnated in other lives. I can sense the excitement inside of me, because I know I am home and never want to leave.

The last time I was home, my grandparents were there, along with a couple cousins, my brother and an Aunt. No, I need to be frank here, when I say family, and I mention them here, they are not the same as the Earth family I have. Yes, I do know that some of my Earth family here are also my soul family, but most of them are not. They are familiars from the city, while others are not from my planet.

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My brother is the first to see me, and rushes outside to greet me. He was preparing to go deep into the city to do some bartering, and I decided to go with him. No one else was home at the time, as my family was out and about, so we set out to go into the city. I can see how tall and elongated the buildings are. There is music in the air, yet I do not know where it is coming. It’s sounds angelic and yet electronic in nature. There are parks, houses and neighborhoods all around. It’s like everything is glistening, yet there was no rain. The air is different when you get deeper into the city, as one can feel the excitement as you near the center. It smells like incense almost, like you are near a church, even though there are NO churches on my planet. This I do remember. I look off to the right and see my school. Yes, part of my coming back also means I need to go back to school. I know that the next day I am to meet with my guides and leaders to discuss my previous life, find out where I went right, where I went wrong, what do I see for the next incarnation, and the lessons I need help in. I am an older soul, so I do know that my schooling is coming to an end soon. I do know I am helping out the guides with the newer/younger souls. The younger souls tend to come back quickly because so many of them choose suicide in their life because they do not understand how to handle the stressful situations that a physical life comes with.

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I am beginning to see familiar faces. Some that I feel I haven’t seen in a millennia. There is so much love that surrounds the air itself you could almost see it. It almost reminds me of a busy spring afternoon in New York’s Central Park. People are laying around in the grass on blankets, some playing music, some in the depths of conversation, some reading a book. The activity in the city is electric, yet soothing. This definitely resonates with me, due to the fact I have an equal love for living in the city and living in the country, and here on Earth never understood why I loved the city when I never lived in one.

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We come to a building, which is the bartering center. There are stalls lined up of people with all their works, whether it is food, art, building supplies, you name it, it’s there. It’s a massive center, yet it feels so welcoming walking into it. The clothes most people are wearing are mutes tones of blue, gray, white, green, and purple. Most people are in pants, with those in long dress-like clothes are the teachers and spiritual guides/mentors. Everyone is so happy and friendly. There is very little animosity or issues that go on here. There is never any tension between people, and for those that are, are newer/younger souls that may be in the throes of new education.

There is so much light but you cannot see a particular “sun”. It never truly turns dark, as even in the depth of night, it only gets dark enough to look like dusk on a summer’s eve. The sky turns purple and there are so many stars in the sky it would be impossible to count.

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There is so much to do in the city. There are restaurants, grocery stores, libraries, schools, music clubs, and so on. There seem to be celebrations always going on for one reason or another. While my brother is speaking to one of the merchants, I walk around the city in amazement, listening to the music coming from somewhere, watching some people dance in the park, etc…

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There is no time here. Sure, there is day and night, but not like the clock time we deal with here on earth. There are never set schedules, even though you know to be somewhere when you need to be there. I know this because tomorrow I am going back to school and meeting with my mentors to talk about my life. I get to go to my Akashic Records Room and go over patterns of this past life and the ones before. My goal is to spend a little more time here than last time, as I reincarnated fairly quickly between lives the last time. It may explain the troubles I continually faced in my last life. But for now, my first day back, I rest easy. I look up into the clear blue sky and watch the ships pass over.

And that’s it. That’s all that came to me.

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The Ascension Series: My Thoughts on Heaven…

JOYWhat I’m about to speak of is a very delicate subject for many people.  In fact, on my personal Facebook page this morning I posted a video narrated by the great Alan Watts who gives a great explanation on the subject.  I can only hope that after I’m through, some of you will feel better and more at ease about something we all have to experience one day.

Death.

Someone last week asked me a very cool question. “What do you think Heaven is like?”

Now, this may come as a shock to my readers, as most of my posts on Facebook are beautiful inspirational memes and such, as I love to look at the positive side of things. And trust me, I do. But when it comes to Heaven, it is a never ending subject on my mind. I think about death ALL. THE. TIME. Not because I’m scared of it. I learned long ago not to be scared of death. I think if I have the fear of anything, it’s the “transition” from this life into the next.   I’ve been in the presence of people who have passed on, and believe me, it is a beautiful moment. To go from living in a life of pain, worry, fear and such, to moving into a state of relentless bliss, love, and contentment, is something I crave to know on a daily basis, and yet I am somewhat scared but excited at the same time when that time comes.

So, this blog today is going to be what I think Heaven is like. I hope you are able to picture what I picture in my dreams every night. So let’s start from the transition:

Most people who experience NDR (Near Death Experiences) have the same thing happen, so for the sake of argument we’re going to use this as a beginning stage: They are floating over their body, feeling a magnetic pull of some sort to go up. When you feel that magnetic pull, you know it’s time to move. Allow your spirit to be taken on up on its own. Feel the pull and allow yourself to move with it. I believe that going towards that “light” that most people see is the tunneling effect. You are riding on waves of pure love energy, if you could physically see it, waves of beautiful rainbow-like waves in the ocean.

When I was 1 year old, I was very ill.  In fact, I’m going to be pretty straightforward when I tell you I almost died.  Do I remember being sick?  Nope.  But I do remember things many other people might not be able to justify.  Warmth, light, unicorns, angels, and a great meadow where I remember laying in the grass.  Could this been a NDR?  Possibly.  In fact, I truly believe each and every one of us has been there in one way or another.  Now as a grown adult woman, I have learned the art of Astral traveling, which is a form of the soul leaving the body , but still tethered to the physical body so I don’t pass on.  It is an amazing tool to understand how amazing human beings are, and how we are gifted with SO many things, yet most of us only tap into 1% of these gifts.

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Anyway, back to the tunnel.  I then find myself in a room of all white, far as my old human eyes can see (mind you, I am no longer a body, but pure light, however my old consciousness still depicts me as having a body). In this room is where I meet my guardian angels and guides, who greet me with enthusiastic abundance. Some of these guides are going to be people I know. I know if I were to die right now, two people would come to greet me immediately: My first boyfriend, Tracy, and my Mom-Mom. I am hoping that number will increase as I get older. Jesus and Mary will be there, and as a sister and daughter, I will run into their arms in pure joy.

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While I am talking with everyone and getting reacquainted with spirit life again, I see the room as turned into a grand meadow, surrounded by lush grass, trees and flowers of all sorts. The weather is bright, mild, with a beautiful breeze that allows the fragrances of the flowers to whirl throughout the air. This is where I am going to see all my old family and friends who have passed on before me. I can only imagine the type of reunion that is going to be. I am going to meet my child who died inside of me 9 weeks into my second pregnancy. Life, as I know it, is in a perfect state of bliss. There is a light that surrounds all of us and the area around, but I cannot find the sun. It is because Heaven is nothing but pure light.

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Before long, my guides tell me I need to go do my Life Review. For many people, this is usually suggested as being judged at the Pearly Gates. I no longer believe in that. I do know we have to do our Life review, and understand and come to terms with all the good AND bad things we did in our last life. This is where I am taken to my Akashic Records Room. Each one of us has our own place where our Akashic Records (a collection of every life we’ve ever lived, otherwise known as the Big Book of Life). Many years ago I did a meditation where I visited my Akashic Records, and it was amazing where I was taken to. Come walk with me into my Akashic Records….

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My guides and I are standing on a beach on the coast of where that meadow that we’ve been standing on has been. It is beginning to fall into nighttime, but the night sky is still very bright, almost purplish pink, with millions of stars. On either side my guides help me rise up into the air, where we begin to glid through the air and over the vast ocean of knowledge. We are traveling to my personal Akashic Records. Before long I can see the coast, and it is a lush and vibrant green, unlike any green we has seen on earth. Fields of magnificent willow trees and flowers adorn the countryside. In the center of this area lies a gigantic castle-like building, and all of a sudden I begin to remember that this is where my Book of Life resides. This is where I go when I leave for a new life, and this is where I come back to review it. Home base. My soul’s place of establishment. We come to the ground, and I begin to walk up the stone stairs. I still can’t believe there are just so many flowers! We come to the door, two gigantic purple wooden doors with a great lock that only I can unlock. My energy touches the door, and it unlocks and opens up. We all begin to walk inside the building when we see everything in there begin to lighten up as our spirits enter. I look up and see beautiful paintings of all my previous lives I’ve lives, going back thousands and thousands of years. Helping me understand why I had so many deja vou occurances during this last life. We forget that many of us have souls that have been here for eons. I know I am no exception. Although not as old as others (like my son, Timmy or godson, Brandon), I am still and old soul.


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In the center of the floor lies a spiral stone staircase that spirals down to a lower level, and I begin my descent. I come to another door, and again I use my soul’s energy to allow entrance into it. As I walk inside, I can smell the wood and paper from all the shelves and books that line what looks to be a grand library. Looking around on the shelves I see ornaments and souveniers that my memories brought with me after death, to transform into matter here. To help me remember what I loved most. Pictures, toys, books, jewelry, music, so much all over the shelves and walls, it brings a smile to my face how many lives I’ve lived. But my focus is cut short when I feel the energy of God coming through. I turn to the door and my guides split like the Red Sea, allow a massive violet-like energy to enter. I know it is the essence of God in it’s beautiful form coming to me to do my Life Review. I take my seat in front of a desk, that even though this was my own, I was not in charge of this moment. Within moments, a gigantic book appears on the desk, almost metallic in its finishing. It sparkles like diamonds in the sunlight. God opens this book and there it is. The life of Bridget Ann Mulhall. I all of a sudden am given memories of every lie I told, everything I ever stole, cheated on, berated, judged, hurt. This is such an important step in the Life Review, because you need to know if you have done enough good Karma that would outweigh the bad. We look at the original contract of my life, and talk about any amendments that happen within it afterwards. We look upon then all the good I’ve done. The people I’ve helped, the sacrifices I made. And like the scales of justice, we weigh in what my life really was about.

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At this point, I would say I’ve paid off most of my Karma in this life. But definitely not all of it. God looks at me and (hopefully) says, “Bridget, you led a decent life, despite your setbacks. You must cleanse yourself of the rest of the Karma you have, then feel free to go on as you wish.” This would give me the opportunity to start a new life, and stay in the Heavens. I do believe I am close to finishing my Earth contract, so I am thinking I would not be reborn again. Or if I would, I will have very few lives left. Knowing that God knows I am truly sorry for all the wrong I’ve ever caused, directly or indirectly, God sends me to a place to cleanse my soul. To me, some people go immediately there after dying, because there might be just too much darkness covering their soul, and need to get it cleansed before even getting to their Life Review. But, for me, I can only HOPE I’ve done enough good in this life to warrant a gentle cleanse! (don’t we all). I honestly do not know the amount of work needed to cleanse the rest of your soul, but I would like to think we would have to work, and work hard, to realign our soul back to its original brightness.

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Once that is completed, I am able to walk into the gates of the great city. Newly covered in a beautiful white robe/tunic, I begin my journey into a great gate that is enclosed with a massive white wall engulfing the city itself. But the doors open, and I can smell the citrus in the air, and the scent of flowers that tingle my toes. And it is a great city. Beautiful architecture that our Earth cannot comprehend, waters iridescent and glowing, colors no human can truly understand. Everything is just so bright and happy. People are reuniting. Families are together again. I find my family. My SOUL family. They are waiting for me and I run to them, as I can recognize them from afar. I feel them all sweep me up in a sense of such love no human could consume it without imploding. Feeling home again, I reacquaint myself with my surroundings again, as they take me back to my home. Yes, I have a home in the city. To me, the great city is a cross between Rivendell, Lothlorien and The Shire. Everything is in its natural state, and positively perfect.   I can hear music but I don’t know where it’s coming from. It is as if the air itself has its own melody. And just like every city there are restaurants, stores, and other places of trade. Yet there is no monetary commerce. Everything is on a volunteer/helping/trade basis. And it works perfectly. Some people call this great city the astral city, or one of the first of the many heavens. It’s where most people go after they die. And right now, it’s where I want to be, before I decide on my next journey.

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What do I see my soul doing now that it is no longer a physical being living on Earth? I’d like to think I would go back to school and understand where I screwed up and how I can better myself in the next life, should I choose to go back. I’d like to visit other Heavenly Realms and seek the wisdom and guidance of the Ascended Masters, like St. Germain. I’d like to have the opportunity to fly down at night to Earth and quickly visit my loved ones I have left, and let them know I’m still there and still loving them. Speaking of flying, that’s what I cannot WAIT to do. To fly again. I have many dreams that involve water and flying. It’s incredible, really. I’ve always dreamt of flying high in the skies from sunset to sunrise. If I ever had a soundtrack or theme song for that outing it would be “Walking In The Air” by Chloe Agnew from Celtic Woman. But something about having the freedom a bird has and flying around, feeling the breeze hit you, knowing you are fully safe, is something I long for.

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I’d like to think right now I am somewhere in the midst of my ascension process, and that when my life is over here on Earth I would be able to ascend to a new dimension and help those who need it. Walking away from “religion” and instead finding that Oneness with God on my terms has been without a doubt, blissful. To be in Communion with God on a daily basis instead of feeling I have to perform a weekend obligatory ritual with Mass, is more peaceful. But don’t get me wrong: I would never mock someone who has found their life and relationship with God in the Church. Never take advantage of when you find your caller to our Creator. This is my calling. So, I no longer fear death. I no longer fear the unknown, because the Creator is in my life at all times, and that’s all I need. It’s why I dream so vividly about Heaven! The Summerlands, the Undying Lands, whatever you want to call Heaven, is majestic in just a thought…can you only imagine actually BEING there? And we were! At one point, we were there. And sooner or later, we will be going back home again.

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What does YOUR Heaven look like?

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Preparing For A New Year…

motivation-do-moreLawd! The Holidays are almost over! And another calendar year is about to close. Whew! I’m telling you, I had a great year. Really, a great year. On Christmas Eve, my Mom and I were snuggling on the couch at my sisters and just chatted on how we could not believe how fast this year went! I think a lot of this has to do with an idea I had last year, that resulted in a new community I put together with the help of some of the most amazing friends a person could have. With a few hiccups here and there, we managed to put together a little community that all in all, wanted to find their spirituality through their own personal relationship with God, regardless of what religious background or present denomination they have.  But to seek their own Spirit with God through the very Earth we were given to live upon.  How awesome is that???  Honestly I never thought it would work. But it did! And here I can say our tightly knit little group is as strong as ever, and although I do not usually discuss my group on outside forums, I think it’s safe to say they won’t mind.

From my previous post, I found my wanting to take down my holiday décor earlier than the 1st of January, and although it was my plan, it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen as I had planned. My sweet honey threw his back out and we need to be extra careful on how to handle him with picking up things around the house. He’s very chivalrous that way, making sure I don’t pick up the big stuff and put away things, he likes to do these things for me, and although I consider myself a liberal woman in her own right, I’m okay with him being the rightful gentleman that he is. Our boys have been busy playing with their new toys, not really anticipating the clearing out of the old toys that they have no use for anymore. It’s something that needs to be done in order for us to maintain a peace in our home.  One of our biggest goals in life is living clutter free; and although we are getting there, we’re not there just yet. A work in progress: Heck, a work of a lifetime in progress. This is something that we can just do one time and it’s done. Clutter-maintenance is going to be our daily ritual, and trying to get the 4 of us to let go of the little stuff we can easily manage to put into a drawer is definitely going to be difficult. But, we’re doing it! I swear on my life!

On another note, another reason why I am looking forward to moving on from this holiday is from losing a friend to an accidental death that happened too soon for this young woman. We had been friends since 2005, and finding out on my birthday she passed away suddenly less than a week prior was raw to my heart and I am still trying to deal with the emotions of loss. We promised each other long ago we would meet one day (she lived in Ireland), and I vow to keep my promise, as she is buried at her home parish in the very county where our ancestors and distant family relations are from. One day, I promise you, Gloria.

So, as we gear up for the close of 2014, I’m dreaming up the upcoming year of learning little things like knitting, macramé and pottery, getting some more paintings out, starting my little Juice Plus+ business, and *sigh*…start running. And you know, it may take up to a year to get me going, but the world needs us all outside more, and I plan on doing my part starting this year.