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Taking that Other Path in the Fork Of the Road…

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One of my favorite sayings I like to say when I feel I need to have a heart to heart with someone – I like to call it a “Come to Jesus” talk.  Sometimes the most amazing and profound events in our lives tend to be also hilariously ironic.  This is precisely the case over the last couple months.

I’m going to tell you something that I didn’t think I would EVER utter to anyone.  This includes my husband, my sons, my parents, my sisters, my family and devoted friends.  I don’t necessarily know why I need to bear witness to this, but I do believe it’s time for me to speak out.  Since November 18, 2016, I’ve been quietly obsessing over it, because of how much it changed me.  And mark my word: I am changed.  Incidentally, my son Tim told me last night, “Mom, I don’t know about you, but there is something really DIFFERENT about you that I’ve noticed the last several weeks.”

At this point, only a collective few, including my husband and son, know what happened.

I’ve been on an incredible journey, and I guess now, it’s okay to talk about it.

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First things first: I was born with the addiction gene in my DNA.  And this gene has taken front and center throughout my life. Food, prescription drugs, relationships, spirituality, you name it, if my heart felt a flutter, I took it for all it was.  Kind of like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Right now, my latest addiction seems to be on something I have taken for granted for many many years.

I am finding it very challenging to really put into words what I want to say. But trust me on this:  This will probably be a long post, because I believe once I get talking, it’s hard to stop.

Most of the time my head tends to be in the clouds, thinking and dreaming of things that I want, not just for myself, but everyone I love.  However, something needs to be said, when your life has been on this particular journey and living this particular belief, when all of a sudden it comes to an abrupt stop for no reason.  And like the flip of a switch, everything that I believed in, held and cherished for so many years, started to dissipate.

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Going back:  The moment I first felt a twinge in my spirituality was when I was a semi-practicing Catholic.  This spiritual “awakening”, so-to-speak, occurred in the early months of 2004.  4 years later, in 2008, I was beginning my life without my soon-to-be ex-husband and found myself delving into another type of spirituality, which many called Paganism. It was something darker than what I had been used to, and yet it fascinated me to my core nonetheless.  Honestly?  I fell in love with Paganism.  Not just because of the rituals or clothing or music, but because I felt I could hold MYSELF accountable for things, rather than feel like some heavenly parental figure is up in the skies waiting for me.  For 4 years, I laid low, while continuing to practice as a Catholic, while secretly delving deep into practicing Paganism.  But I still loved Jesus.  That never swayed.  I truly believed in the heart of my hearts that my love for Jesus actually grew from my studies, and found I started calling myself a Christo-Pagan. (There is such a religion that exists).

In 2012, I finally made the decision to leave the Catholic Church, and be open about loving my Earth Spirituality.  In essence, I called it that because Paganism has a societal stigma that causes people to believe that all who practice it are devil-worshiping, animal sacrificing, followers of Satan.  I need to tell you all this – Paganism is NOT devil worshiping.  Pagans actually don’t believe in the devil.  It angered me so much, that I wanted to prove to the world my spirituality was if anything, stronger than when I was a practicing Catholic.  I joined a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, then became a leader in the community guiding and teaching like-minded individuals who saw and felt the same as I. I finally thought I was home in my faith.  Being able to love God, Jesus and Mary and the Saints and Angels, all while dedicating myself to Mother Earth by committing myself to the fundamentals of holding rituals honoring not just them, but all the deities that all the cultures in the world were made up of.  I felt I was co-existing with Mother Earth herself and I was a handmaiden to her services.  As the years passed, I realized Jesus, Mary, the Saints and the Angels started to take a back burner to other deities whom I wanted to learn and study.  I’ll be honest.  I tried.  I really did.  But it never felt the same.  Literally, I would thank a deity for something they gave me, but if I found myself in trouble, I called on Jesus.  I knew it, and yet continued to block my mind of the hypocrisy I was finding myself in.  Deep in.  How dangerous it was for me to think just because another religion doesn’t believe in something like the devil, didn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

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How funny it was, then, when Jesus decided to take a stand for His cause, and call me back to the land of His living, and in the WEIRDEST place possible.

Jesus has an incredible sense of humor, I’ll tell ya.

In the Autumn of 2016 (funny, 4 years from the last opened door), I started studying Hinduism.  I was listening to a lot of Hindi music, while trying to practice some of the festival rituals that are held usually on the other side of the world.  I even wrote a blog about it here!!!!!

But if you are a subscriber or devoted follower to my website, you know that this was my last blog.  November 6, 2016.  Exactly TWO weeks later, I fell off the proverbial ledge and went underground, like Persephone in the old Greek tales.  For those two weeks, I lingered down there, because something was troubling me.  I felt a weight on my shoulders and my chest was so heavy I couldn’t explain, let alone breathe.  And then it happened.

November 18, 2016.  I took a shower.

I know, that was anti-climatic.  I just wanted you all to take a deep breath, cause we’re about to go down that rabbit hole.

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Okay, so…Here’s where it gets weird:

It started out as nothing special.  It was a Friday night, and my husband was out getting our food after dropping off my step-son at his mothers, my son was at a friend’s for the evening.  It was just me and my doggie, Linus.  I turned on some Native American music in our bedroom and strolled naked into the bathroom where I felt I could take a nice long, hot shower all by myself.  There’s a freedom you feel when you have that alone time, and this was no exception.  I was singing and dancing in the shower, taking my time to clean myself, when all of a sudden, I felt a presence with me.  I turned around, and SO HELP ME GOD,  Jesus was standing in the shower with me.

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I wish I was making this up, but this is the stone cold truth.

There was nothing perverted, obviously, but more or less the shock value from my end created a moment of ice-breakage.  He stood there with his arms crossed, not getting a bit wet, and said, “Sister, WHAT are you doing?”  He had on a white robe, with what looked like a violet colored sash.  He looked exactly like I had always pictured Him.

Frightened wasn’t the word.  Stunned?  Even more so.  I told Jesus that I was taking a shower as He could see, thinking even for a second that maybe this was all being made up in my head, questioning in my head if I fell in the shower and blacked out, did I have wine I forgot I was drinking? But this….this was real. He said, “Don’t patronize me, Bridget! You KNOW what I’m talking about.  ANOTHER RELIGION?  Am I really THIS bad that you want to look for more salvation in something else because you can SEE it?” He sounded exasperated, if not annoyed to the core.

AND STILL, I kept thinking this was all being made up in my head.

And then in a loud, booming voice, He said:

“Do you REALLY want to ruin ALL that you have created up there?”

And the most frightening to me, He said,

“Am I really not enough for you?”

I immediately felt a twinge of pain, or maybe it was guilt, because I couldn’t understand what the HELL was going on, but apparently Jesus was legitimately upset with me.  Upon realizing this, He then sighed and said something I’ll never forget:

“I want you to sing a song for me”, He said, “Remember that song you used to sing in choir, called ‘Hosea?’  Sing that for me. I like to think this is ‘OUR’ song.”  (now, in any other circumstance, anytime given the chance to sing in the shower, I’m going to make that sh** happen.)  But at this point I was having a heated conversation with Jesus in the SHOWER and the fear in me rose up, so I started singing quite softly:

 

“Come back to me, with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart.

Trees do bend, though straight and tall, so must we to others call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you, to your heart where I will speak.

Integrity, and justice, with tenderness, you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.”

 

And just like that, 12 years of my life slowly washed away, like a silent tsunami coming in the middle of the night without any warning.

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Everything I was, everything I THOUGHT I was, everything I thought I was going to be, disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I stood in the shower, looking down on my hands as the water was running off of me, and realized I was alone again.  But this was different: I felt a loneliness I never felt before, and not only was it suffocating, it was profoundly heartbreaking.  I started sobbing to the point I was shaking like someone hit me with a cattle prod. I started banging my fists on the wall of the shower so hard, bottles started falling off the shower shelf.  I started screaming “I’m sorry!  I’m SORRY! What have I done?  I’m so sorry!  Please forgive me!!!!”  But Jesus was no longer there.  I was utterly alone.  I fell to my knees in absolute despair and realized what a fool I was. For over a decade I acted like I loved him and knew him, all the while allowing other things to get in the way; it was the most horrible act of defiance and dishonesty I ever did in my entire life.

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And now I was alone.  It was the darkest moment of my life to date.

But then I heard Him.  And I felt this almost heated warmth flow through my body, as if I was encapsulated within something like an incubator.  As I continued to sob on my knees, water still running, I heard Him:

“Shhhhhhh….Bridget Ohhhhhhh sweetheart, I know…..Welcome back!  Welcome back.  It’s alright.  It’s alright.  Just cry it out.  I never left you, no matter how much you wanted me to let you go, I just couldn’t.  And you know what?  You didn’t want to let go either.  It’s why you kept me silently close to you all these years, even when you told others I wasn’t there….shhhhhhh, no more tears.  It’s over.  The pain has been washed away….I made sure of this.  No more tears, Bridget.  Breathe in your new life.”

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How does one recover from something like that?

I decided to delve into that part of me that has been in-fact, reborn.

I started reading the Bible.  I stopped doing earthly rituals that benefited my wants.  I began to walk on the side I promised myself 12 years ago I would never come back to.  I went back to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, where they welcome all creeds.  I opted NOT to go to a Christian church at first, well, mainly because my brain still has a belief that so many of these big-built theater-like churches are all ego-based ministry trying to pull people in for money and numbers.  Don’t get me wrong, let me explain before I get scolded:  I’m not saying they are ALL this way, it’s just how my brain has been perceiving this for so many years, I can’t remember when the thought first entered my mind. Nevertheless, I started watching documentaries on the Bible, on Christianity as a whole, on Jesus’ humanity and divinity.  And continued to go to the UU Fellowship until I realized I needed something more.

Most importantly, I got back to praying.  At least, the kind of praying I used to do years ago, now with a better understanding rather than I was “told” to say it.

I began listening to people like Kat Kerr, who has been given the gift of visions of Heaven.  And I then realized in an instant, that’s where my focus is going to be.

Heaven.

And what I need to do to get there.

I realized over the last several weeks that everything that I want, my garden, my homestead, future animals like chickens and goats, my front porch farm stand….all of it – has been cooking up in my brain and my heart with the absolute faith that one day I’ll get there.  So, why now is this happening?  Why has Jesus decided to make his presence known in the way it was presented?

I took some time to think about everything.  The shower.  Water.  Emotion.  Water is all about emotion.  And whenever I take a shower, I like to think when the water is falling on me, all the crap and muck from the day is being washed away.

So yeah, in a very different but just as intimate way, I was reborn again.

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What does this mean for the earthly spiritual Bridget who loves to talk about angels, mother earth and the seasons?  Well, just hold on a sec.  I’m still here.  I’m still Bridget. I think that if anything, all my beliefs I have, are just that.  I can’t change what I truly believe to be true, as feelings are neither right nor wrong.  I think it has to do with what and more importantly, HOW we use our beliefs that makes up our character.

So, in the last several weeks, I’ve undergone much change.  And it has been an amazing journey.

But you know what? I’m still burning sage, collecting crystals and such.  But now I have a more intimate understanding of my uses for them. But no worries, I’m still the querky eclectic Bridget that will do anything to get people to smile.

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I’m also going to continue celebrating the seasons through the Celtic Wheel of the Year method.  Ancient farmers used this method, it wasn’t just religious symbolism. Many organic farmers today still work with the moon and the seasons of the year based on these ancient traditions, and not modern commercialism.  So, as far as I’m concerned, Winter is over and Spring is here!  It is early Spring, so things are still dead and it’s pretty damn cold outside.  But some of my potted bulbs outside that don’t get hit with the frost are peeking out already.  As far as I’m concerned, the days of Light and Life are coming back.

I know I may lose friends over this revelation, and that’s okay.  Just as people evolve, I am sure relationships go through the same course.

Today my BFF Jenny and her amazing boyfriend Steven, took me to my first Christian service in what has been many years.  Over the last week, I got to speak to my cousin, Jerry, who told me he was overjoyed and filled with so much love and happiness for me for my conversion and is looking forward to talking with me more.

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have met with so much amazing positive manifestations with my personal life in health and career.  I have found myself immersed into personal Bible study and watching videos that seem to be calling me to watch.  Each day I wake up, I ask for Grace, even though I am not worthy of it.  I pray to have a good day and make good decisions.  And each day has been wonderful.  I feel like a child.  I’m learning all over again.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be saved. But I do know, that feeling the presence of Jesus in my life has turned my life around.  Everything that I am is changed.  But, I am still Bridget.  I promise you that.  I am still open minded.  Still an empathic bad-ass.  Still a devout lover of Mother Earth.  I’m just understanding my life a bit differently now. I’m understanding my spirit now.  And most importantly, I’m understanding my heart.

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This website will eventually change on some levels.  My store will come down and hopefully I will be able to change my tax id to my alias name, The Bohemian Hobbit.  The Spiral Willow will be closing.  My tinctures and teas will still be around, and hopefully one day, I will be selling other things more deserving of my journey. If you are interested in buying certain things on my site, I will be posting them on my Facebook page, The Bohemian Hobbit until all is sold out. I will still be writing about Ascension, Homesteading, Permaculture, my love for Hobbits (well, DUH!), and of course, Spirituality.  But in order for me to write from my heart, you will undoubtedly see the change in my writing.  If you no longer feel comfortable with my writings, know I completely understand and you have every right to go.  I will let you go freely with so much love and admiration, you’ll definitely feel it!!!!

As we begin the week for Valentine’s Day, I find it no coincidence that outside my husband and children, I have fallen madly in love with Jesus and becoming a born-again Christian.  Take that as you will, all I know is that I stand here in witness, to tell you, that I have been changed.  I am changed.  What happened to me, was supernatural.  Was intensely beautiful, and like I said, life – CHANGING.

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And I will pray for the rest of my life this change will not only eventually save me, but will help me walk on a path to save and serve others.

I love you,

Bridget

The Bohemian Hobbit

 

 

Trying To Move Forward in a Backwards World…

 

Ahhh, today is Memorial Day.  An important time to remember the citizens of my country who paid a price for our freedom.  I know for me, Memorial Day should not just be a United States Holiday.  It should be a Universal holiday.  Religious zealots, political prowess, bigotry, and all-around hatred has caused our little world to continually be turned upside down.  Thankfully, we are at the threshold of a new era – an era of peace.  Those who believe in prophecy (not religious, but universal), know that usually after generations of war always follows with generations of peace.  And we are coming down from the climax of war.  Yes, even though there is still hate and war out there, we have to admit to ourselves we are moving towards a turning point.  Think about this – 100 years ago…what was NOT allowed to be?  Being public with homosexuality, transgenderism, women’s rights, freedom from slavery, child labor laws…just to name a few.  To me, as I see it, it’s an insult on the people who died so that we may live, by living with hate, anger and resentment.  Sure, we have the freedom to do that, but think about it…is it REALLY freedom?

I look at the world today, and see so much growth happening.  And although I still get disgusted at the hate and bigotry that is STILL out there, it IS decreasing.  People are beginning to wake up!  They are witnessing the innate and absolute awe of loving unconditionally one another.  Leaving behind the uneducated, misled and arrogant stances of how other people live.  When we STOP worrying about how other people are living, we begin to love ourselves a little bit more.  And when we love ourselves more, that love begins to radiate out to the masses.  This has always been part of my journey, as I learned long ago that the continuous judgement where I am on the receiving end of that judgement, will only create more anger in those throwing that anger toward me.  I choose love.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to be a walking mat, no, it just means I choose love.  Jesus once talked about walking away from the Old Testament “Eye for an Eye” way of life, and instead, choose to turn the other cheek.

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Matthew 5:38-40 — “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth’. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person.  If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.”

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Such a brilliant way to look at life.  When people choose to live their lives in hatred, judgement, bigotry, and an overall victim-hood mentality, walk away.  But walk away with love.  You can forgive those who hate you, spit at you and judge you, but doing it back to them only shows that you are just as bad as they.  Choose to walk away.  Now, 5-10 years ago, I would have lost my nerve and screamed and cried and made sure they knew how much they hurt me.  No more.  I listen, and tell them I’m so sorry they feel this way.  I’ve learned to know that I am an amazing woman who has flaws just like everyone else.  But I choose now to not use my flaws as ways to get out of things, or make excuses as to why I need to be “different”. Not my style.

Today my husband and I took a walk through our gardens.  We have been experiencing some really hot and humid weather, to the point that even my deep garden bedding experienced some tough challenges.  We talked about idea to make things better, and how to support the even living creatures and plants that now dwell back there.  Last week I put together a little bird bath made out of a ceramic potting base and an iron plant stand.  The robins and blue jays that have come to play back there now brings such a smile on my face.  I want the creatures to know that I not only build these sacred gardens for myself and those I love, but for them as well.  They need to eat too, you know!

Also, in my continuing lessons of humility, I started back up on my Celtic Devotional written by my dear friend, Cailtin Matthews.  Split into the four major Earth Holidays, each Sabbat/Season has a daily prayer for morning AND at night.  Solar and Lunar meditations, as well as additional blessings and prayers for everything under the sun.  I lost it during the move, so you could only imagine how happy to have it back on my person.

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I also realized some other things.  I’m not cut out for certain things in my life.  It’s a quite profound moment when you realize this.  When you are in an environment that is not healthy, everything around you will go down with you.  I realized this when I came to the conclusion of my failing health.  It’s funny how it began when it did, and how it is continuing to this day.  I continue to find ways to get better, and always try to look at the positive side of things.  It’s not good when you know of people who seem to think the worst of things, the worst of you, or just make assumptions that are clearly not true.

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I get it.  I don’t run with the “normal” crowd.  I don’t understand why it bothers people so much in what I believe in.  Apparently if you go to church but you are an unmitigated asshole, you’re still in better shape than me, a non-church goer who believes in doing good and being good. Apparently because I believe in things like angels and fairies, astrology and magical intentions, I’m doomed to eternal hell.  Does it make me sad?  Yes, I’m heartbroken that even at 42 I still get phone calls telling me that people I love are spreading assumptions about me because of their own fear or lack of understanding.  Should I resist?  No.  I’m not going to fight anymore.  I am simply turning the other cheek, because I know at the end of the day, I do it with love, and no one can take that away from me.

We need to work together.  All of us.  We need to STOP assuming the worst in everyone.  We need to STOP being so angry and resentful because your life may not be as happy as someone else. Make the most of your life.  The tiny things in this world can sometimes make the biggest impact.  To never give up hope even on the darkest of days.

Today my husband and my boys went for a walk through Blackrock Sanctuary.  Needed to be outside even on this hot day.  Being out in nature gives me a time, even for a moment, to realize what we have right in front of us.  And that to be grateful for these things will only give us more ability to move forward positively.  Be light.  Be love. Be magic.  Because all three is all around us.  But you’re only going to see it if you walk away from your chains of darkness.

The Ascension Series: Revisiting An Important Topic…

Several posts ago, I posted about a video that truly changed my life. Truth is, I still can’t stop talking about it. I want the whole world to know what I felt what I saw and heard through this video that was less than 30 minutes long. (If you want to see the video, please hover over my word “video” in the first sentence and click on it- that will take you to that video)

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Why is it, that things in our life go through such unbelievable change, yet we either shy away from it or worse, completely ignore the signs, and instead walk amongst the sheep who choose to live through life with their eyes closed?

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We were born into this world for reasons we have no idea why. Religions tell us because God created us to live a spiritual life in a physical world. Science tells us there is not spiritual world, and that we were made from star dust. And here we are, in 2016, we are STILL arguing how in the world we got here (no pun intended). I remember back in the 1980’s when Pope John Paul II caused an absolute ruckus within the Catholic Church when he offered the idea that maybe God created the Big Bang. Religious Conservatives and Scientific Scholars lost their proverbial minds over this because in their own minds, putting Science and Religion together is simply a no bueno.

Why do unknown things scare us so freaking much? I mean, take for instance something simple. Right now, as I sit typing this out, I am drinking on of my well-known Kratom teas. I came across this amazing Southeast Asian plant back in 2013 and although at first I was skeptical, I found that this plant has helped me come off so many dangerous drugs created by Big Pharma. And still, 3 years later, people around me are fearful that I am taking some “drug”. In the video that I suggested above, the narrator states that Light means “Information” and Darkness means “Lack of Information”. Which of course makes complete sense when you use the phrase of “Being in the dark” about things.   For example (and I apologize if I sound like I’m going off in another direction – I swear it will make sense in the end)…A common human trait when we become comfortable is stagnancy.  It’s why couples tend to gain weight together once they get out of the “honeymoon” phase. It’s why kids become addicted to video games because we as parents try to find some form of peace and quiet and we know that’s how we get it. Patterns become habits and sometimes those patterns are not necessarily good ones. Yet, changing ourselves can sometimes be a tedious and challenging task that can at times prove to be almost impossible. This is usually due to our environment, relationships, careers, health, and a multitude of other facets.  This, in a sense, is living in the dark.

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We can also be in the dark because we are forced to be. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to believe the governments of the world keeps things hidden from the people of this planet. Now, before you get all crazy like by calling me a conspiracy theorist, do your research. You don’t need to follow politics to know we are not told everything. And yet, big corporations like Monsanto and big Banks and the politicians they pay for continue to grow stronger and richer, slowly closing the gap on what was once the Middle Class. Modern Day Physicists have already proved Molecular Time Travel, Dark Matter, Black Holes, as well as a feast of what you would think they would be from some Science Fiction story.

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Whether you care to believe it or not, WE are changing. We are evolving. We are no longer in a 4 Dimensional World. We are currently moving into the 5th Dimension. Many people, in fact, some I personally know, have already moved into this realm. The veil between the living world and the other world has been thinner than ever in our lives. Can’t you feel that energy? It is why more and more people are moving away from organized religion and finding solace in a personal relationship with our Creator without the dogmatic laws of control. It’s why the “new age” philosophies have boomed into our world creating its own market. Why? Because we are humans and we HAVE to evolve. We NEED to evolve. Does it matter how we got here? Does it matter what we did before? Not really. What matters is NOW. Echkert Tolle coined the phrase “Living in the Now” and has a best selling book on it. But truthfully, you don’t need to read a book about living in the now. It’s a very simple concept.

You cannot rewrite the past.

You cannot predict the future.

All you have is now.

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How do you feel about now? I know for a lot of people, you’re not feeling that great. Because the Earth Herself is evolving, we who live with her need to keep up or we’re going to be left behind. You need to remember this very important fact:

Mother Earth CAN and WILL live without us.

However, we CANNOT live without Her.

Get out of the darkness and move into the light.

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Yesterday marked the First Day of Spring. Now, although my belief system has me preparing for Spring as early as February 1st, most people in the Northern Hemisphere celebrate March 20th as the first day of Spring. It makes sense because this is around the time that the crocuses, daffodils and tulips are budding out of hibernation, ready to open up and declare life has come back to us! What a joyous occasion it is! It is the day of the Spring Equinox, the day when the daytime and nighttime are of equal length. People of Persian descent celebrate their New Year with the Feast of Nowruz, and for my astrological peeps, March 20th symbolizes the beginning of the Astrological New Year.

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So, all in all, it is a day of rebirth. And as I stated on a Facebook post on my personal page, it is the reason why Christianity celebrates the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Jesus was actually crucified in November of 33 AD based on historical research and fact (I don’t need anyone quoting scripture to me, the timing of his birth and death means nothing.  It’s the actual events in hand where the importance lies), but it is honored around the week of the Equinox since its original Pagan origins symbolized the rebirth of Springtime. For many that wonder where Eggs, Chickens, Lambs, and Bunny Rabbits seem to be the symbol of Easter? Well, that was because the original holiday, Ostara, was about rebirth, and all the baby animals, including eggs, were apart of this day. In Greek Mythology, Persephone came out of the Underworld back into her Mother Demeter’s arms on the Spring Equinox.  Persephone is the Goddess of Spring, of baby animals, and of rebirth itself.  When Christianity took over Rome, they kept some of the symbols, while burying the rest of the story.

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(Jesus loves ALL of us, don’t let anyone tell you different)

See? Now, does it matter? No. Of course not. Why? Because no matter how you slice it, we are ALL connected. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

Okay, well, thanks for the history lesson, Bridget, but what does this have to do with Ascension, you ask?

Everything. Because in order for us to truly, TRULY understand how Mother Earth evolves, we too, must evolve. Ascend to new dimensions to further align our physical bodies with our spiritual ones.

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It is heartbreaking for me to see people so blinded by pride and ego. Anything that is said outside their own understanding is cause for worry, resentment, or downright anger for thinking outside the box. People are irritated because they are dealing with someone who “just can’t be normal like the rest of us”, or “why do you have to act like a hippy or gypsy or whatever you call it, why can’t you just act normal?”  This week I read an article where a Christian woman was fasting for 15 days for her love of Jesus.  On the 15th Day, she because delirious and was sent to the hospital, where her bloodwork came with all low amounts of everything.  She told the hospital she was fasting.  She took her bible out and prayed.  The doctor made the assumption she was unstable, and had her involuntarily committed for 5 days where she was forced Psychotropic medicines!!!  I mean, seriously!  How cruel is that???  She was of sound mind after she was given saline to hydrate her, and yet the hospital staff and doctor even went as far as to try to get the court to allow them to lock her up in a mental institution!  For praying!  (As of right now, this woman is currently suing the hospital, doctor and staff for unlawful imprisonment).  Link to the article is below:

http://www.naturalnews.com/044306_hospital_imprisonment_mental_illness_spiritual_author.html

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People judge you fas being abnormal, crazy and the like, just for being spiritual.  This is life right now for many people.  Sadly, this type of conversation is usually part of my life at least once a week. In the beginning, I would fight back, and put people in their place. It did nothing but put me right where they wanted. It was so difficult to pull away and turn the other cheek, breathe out the bad moments and pray they lessen as the days pass. Because one of two things are going to happen: The person(s) will simply walk away from you never to speak to you again, or they will simply accept you. Don’t ever expect the nagging to go away. It won’t. People with bruised egos will do anything to make their point. And that’s okay for you, remember that.  Allow them to do what they have to do. That does not mean you need to engage in the warfare, though. And that is simply what that is. You can choose to fight, or you can choose to love.

Always choose to love.

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And yes, this is a very reasonable thing to ask. Just because the thought of a Utopian Society is pretty much something that may never happen in our lifetime, doesn’t mean each person shouldn’t strive to make their life utopian. This is the one thing that drives me batty! Just because we live in a crappy world with lots of greedy, angry and hurtful souls who are just simply blinded by the truth, doesn’t mean those who can see should act blindly as well for the sake of feeling justified!

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Ascension is about moving up. Taking the high road. Seeing the big, overall picture. That’s all Ascension is.

And in that video, whether the beings are real or not, the message is abundantly clear: OPEN YOUR EYES. See the truth of the world but more importantly…LIVE YOUR TRUTH.

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Lessons in Forgiveness and Closing Chapters…

forgive1Today was a major lesson in strength and forgiveness.

Each one of us are given lessons, sometimes extremely difficult and impossibly humbling.  We can choose to accept these lessons by admitting our faults and discretions, while HOPEFULLY the consequences of our actions, whether they happened yesterday or 30 years ago, will only help us grow stronger in love, grace and overall, humility.  These last few years have proven just that.  And even in the midst of absolute despair, when the pain just becomes TOO much that some would rather roll over and blind themselves from the pain with alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, food, or whatever vice you need to mask that despair, I have chosen a different path.

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I choose forgiveness.

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See, what other people think of me is really none of my business.  And honestly? That’s a very hard thing for me to accept.  My ego has been bruised so much in the last 4 years I can’t even really begin to describe it.  In the last few years alone, I have been humbled more times than I can ever count, and am constantly reminded of things that I NOW know, were not of the understanding my actions were going to be detrimental in the years ahead.  See, when people go through a traumatic experience, it becomes acutely apparent that people “block” memories to avoid the pain.  I suffer from PTSD because of this.  Looking back at the years when my life was so troubled, I can understand how I had tried, sometimes embarrassingly, to get people to “like” me.  And when you utilize that desperation technique, it’s easy for others to see right through you. 4 years ago, those memories came back, and since that horrifying moment of regression, I have done everything I can to make amends of my past and who I hurt, even though I was a victim as well.  Well, today showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt, that trait no longer caters to my life.  The strands of victimhood no longer apply and I am voluntarily choosing to cut those strands from my life.

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If you know who you are, and know that deep down you are a good person, despite faults you made in the past, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and people who come and go in your life choose to hate you, despise you, belittle you, or whatever it is that they do to make you question your own self-worth, well then, my dears, the moment you put that apology out there is the moment you are finally free to let go.  If people choose to not accept your apology, or even worse, accept it, only to turn around and take it back, you need to remind yourself that it no longer applies to you.  It applies to them.  And then everything going forward becomes THEIR issues, and you can walk away with peace in your mind and in your heart.

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Today was a hard day.

Quite frankly, I’m heartbroken.  But that heartbreak will heal.  I will mend.  And the scars on my heart will provide stronger tissue that will make it harder to hurt me. I forgive those who choose hate over love.  Who choose anger over forgiveness.  Remember: How people treat you is a reflection of THEM, not you.  Something my husband and my Mom continue to drive into my head day after day.

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And with that, I am choosing to close a very, very sad chapter in my life, and moving on.  Because I deserve it.  And the people that know who I am, TRULY know who I am, deserve it.

In the end, I choose love.  I choose forgiveness.

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And I forgive you, for everything you have done to me.  May you be happy in the life you have chosen, and I wish you nothing but happiness in your heart, and peace in your soul.

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