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Q & A From the Last Blog….

meadow   Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, so-to-speak, I got inundated with a ton of questions from people, friends, family and you lovely readers, about this “sudden” but not sudden change, how it has affected my life and the lives around me, and what’s going to happen going forward.  So without further ado, here goes the questions:

  1. Bridget, congratulations on finding faith. Your story is really awesome but how does one go from a certain faith/philosophy to a complete 180 with another faith?

Bridget:  This is the most asked question I have been asked since coming out a few weeks ago.  I wish I could explain it better, but it’s like this:  I was the Bridget most people have known for over a decade, and then I took a shower.  When I got out of the shower, every thought, idea, belief and understanding shifted.  Like a mountain range fault that decided to move a few inches, creating an impact for hundreds of miles.  This is precisely what happened to me.  How I went from believing in a specific idea, then after taking that shower, I no longer believed in it, I can’t explain.  It was a supernatural event, plain and simple.

 

  1. What is going to happen to the community you founded 3 years ago based on your former beliefs?

Bridget:  Last year, I went on a sabbatical due to my health issues.  I find it strangely coincidental that things started shifting months before the event ever occurred.   At this point, the community will no longer be what it was, since as its leader, I can no longer teach the philosophies I had been teaching.  It would be awesome to create a Bible/worship/ministry study group out of it, but I’m thinking most will not be up for that.  One never knows, though.

 

  1. How has your family handled your change? They must be so excited! 

Bridget:  Well, not exactly in truth, and really I cannot blame them.  Sure, they are thrilled that I have decided to come back full time to Jesus, but growing up in a Roman Catholic household, even though it is of Christian origin, there are certain dogmatic doctrines within the Catholic Canon Law that stipulates certain things that I happen to disagree on, which caused me to join a Protestant Christian church rather than go back to my Catholic upbringing.  Adult baptism, female pastors/ministers, etc are just a couple of issues I challenge the Catholic Church with, and I know for a fact the Church does not appreciate that.  So one needs to respect those differences…Despite our differences, though, my family is the most amazing people, and I know they love me unconditionally, no ifs, ands or buts.  I do have a cousin who is born again, and he has become even a more protective brother in Christ for me.  Jerry and I had always been close growing up, and coming to this faith only brought us closer.

 

  1. I know you love to watch videos to learn about stuff.  Who has been your go-to channels or websites to keep up with your journey?

 

Bridget:  Oh dear!  Where should I start?  There are quite a few!!!!  Well, Jessica from Truth at Home, Starry Hilder, James and Lea from Philia Ministries, The Fundamental Home, Fouch-a-Matic and Esther Emery, Patara from Appalachia Homestead, Melanie from Road to the Farm, just to name a few!!!!!!  All of them are homesteaders, living their lives according to God, and well, I am just in awe of these amazing godly women!!!!!!!  Go subscribe to their channels on YouTube!!!!  You’ll thank me for it!!!!

 

  1. How has this affected your personal relationship with God?

Bridget:  It has magnified it! Praise God! I honestly feel that I needed to go through the trials and tribulations in my life, because the Father has been preparing me for something big.  I feel my ministry in life is going to finally come to fruition in the next few years.

 

  1. What going to happen to your blog?

Bridget:  Nothing.  My blog is my blog.  Just because I no longer believe in some of the things I talked about on my blog, doesn’t make them irrelevant to other people.  I think down the road, I will eventually archive those blog posts, but for right now, the mystical stuff will come down once I am able to sell the remainder of my inventory.  Plus, I will be putting up a disclaimer to show any new readers about my change.  And I think some of those readings are going to be a great reminder of how dangerously close I came from losing myself to evil.

 

  1. What are you going to do with the friends and family who won’t support you on this?  Don’t those closest to you have a say in making sure you are making the right decisions in your life?

Bridget:  (yes, this question WAS asked)….Um, well, of course they have a say, this is a free will zone, is it not?  But whether or not they have the right to tell me what to do, well, as a 43 year old woman living in a free-ish country, I can easily say that I have my own mind, and without trying to sound snarky in any way, no one REALLY has the right to tell me how to live. Besides God, the only person I answer to is my husband Scott, because he is the head of our family.  I’ve always been a free spirit, so if anything, being closer to God than I have ever been before, will only magnify the love and wonder I have of this world we live in.  I can ONLY hope people see how cool it is to love Jesus!

 

  1. Have you found a church you feel comfortable going to?

Bridget:  YES!  About a mile away from my home, there is an amazing community called Trinity Lighthouse Evangelical Church.  My friends Jenny and Steven invited me there, and I feel so welcomed and comfortable there.  It’s an amazing church, with even a more amazing Pastor.  Even his wife, I feel so kindred with her.  Like she completely GETS me!  And although I have been asked to give lots of churches a try to find the one best suited for me, right now I’m in a good place.  And I look forward to continuing going there.

 

  1. What happened to you going to the Unitarian Universalist Church?

Bridget:  Ah, yes.  This sadly has hurt my heart to stop going there.  I had been going there on and off for almost 5 years.  I spoke to many of the parishoners there, who asked me to reconsider coming back, because in all my years of going to ANY church, this was the one that was like family to me. To put it quite simply, I’m heartbroken to not see them each Sunday.  From Kay, Desiree, Erica, Nick, MaryAnn and Carla, and so many more, not being able to see them actually causes a physical pain, but I know that right now, this is where I need to be right now.  Honestly, I wish there was a way to see both communities each week.

  1. Is this the reason why you stopped blogging for the last few months?

Bridget:  Yes and no.  “Yes” in the way that my brain was going in about a zillion directions, and I could not keep one subject in my head long enough to jot something down.  And then “No” in the way that Wintertime is a very difficult time for me.  Living in Pennsylvania has its many ups during the Spring, Summer and Fall time.  But the moment old man Winter comes to visit, my health deteriorates as well as my state of mind.  Even as I type this on Tuesday, my mind has been filled with worry and anxiety of the raging Nor’easter happening outside.  Seeing gray skies with snow on the ground, crushes my heart.  My heart lies in warmer climates, where life is teeming and abundant.  For 3-4 months, I look upon dormant trees and bushes without their leaves, dead, brown leaves scattered like the memories of the warmer days the year before.  And it truly makes me ridiculously sad.

In light of that, though, I tend to pray more in the Wintertime, mainly because even with all my family and friends, I feel incredibly lonely and know that God is listening to me when I am in my darkest moments.  So, I turn inward, write more in my journal rather than my blog, pray and have lots of contemplation time.  It is when I tend to hear God the most!

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So….that’s it, folks.  Those are the top ten questions I have been asked in the last few months over what’s happened to me.  Once this weather starts to stabilize and get warmer in the weeks to come, you will see more gardening/homesteading blogs and hopefully a video blog soon.  I would love to get everyone’s feedback on my thoughts for the upcoming gardening season and what people would like to see this old Hobbit girl try out!  This is Winters last Hurrah this week, so I am trying to keep that in mind with lots of love and hope for Spring and new life to come.

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If you have any additional questions you want answered, send me a message or comment below.

Taking that Other Path in the Fork Of the Road…

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One of my favorite sayings I like to say when I feel I need to have a heart to heart with someone – I like to call it a “Come to Jesus” talk.  Sometimes the most amazing and profound events in our lives tend to be also hilariously ironic.  This is precisely the case over the last couple months.

I’m going to tell you something that I didn’t think I would EVER utter to anyone.  This includes my husband, my sons, my parents, my sisters, my family and devoted friends.  I don’t necessarily know why I need to bear witness to this, but I do believe it’s time for me to speak out.  Since November 18, 2016, I’ve been quietly obsessing over it, because of how much it changed me.  And mark my word: I am changed.  Incidentally, my son Tim told me last night, “Mom, I don’t know about you, but there is something really DIFFERENT about you that I’ve noticed the last several weeks.”

At this point, only a collective few, including my husband and son, know what happened.

I’ve been on an incredible journey, and I guess now, it’s okay to talk about it.

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First things first: I was born with the addiction gene in my DNA.  And this gene has taken front and center throughout my life. Food, prescription drugs, relationships, spirituality, you name it, if my heart felt a flutter, I took it for all it was.  Kind of like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Right now, my latest addiction seems to be on something I have taken for granted for many many years.

I am finding it very challenging to really put into words what I want to say. But trust me on this:  This will probably be a long post, because I believe once I get talking, it’s hard to stop.

Most of the time my head tends to be in the clouds, thinking and dreaming of things that I want, not just for myself, but everyone I love.  However, something needs to be said, when your life has been on this particular journey and living this particular belief, when all of a sudden it comes to an abrupt stop for no reason.  And like the flip of a switch, everything that I believed in, held and cherished for so many years, started to dissipate.

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Going back:  The moment I first felt a twinge in my spirituality was when I was a semi-practicing Catholic.  This spiritual “awakening”, so-to-speak, occurred in the early months of 2004.  4 years later, in 2008, I was beginning my life without my soon-to-be ex-husband and found myself delving into another type of spirituality, which many called Paganism. It was something darker than what I had been used to, and yet it fascinated me to my core nonetheless.  Honestly?  I fell in love with Paganism.  Not just because of the rituals or clothing or music, but because I felt I could hold MYSELF accountable for things, rather than feel like some heavenly parental figure is up in the skies waiting for me.  For 4 years, I laid low, while continuing to practice as a Catholic, while secretly delving deep into practicing Paganism.  But I still loved Jesus.  That never swayed.  I truly believed in the heart of my hearts that my love for Jesus actually grew from my studies, and found I started calling myself a Christo-Pagan. (There is such a religion that exists).

In 2012, I finally made the decision to leave the Catholic Church, and be open about loving my Earth Spirituality.  In essence, I called it that because Paganism has a societal stigma that causes people to believe that all who practice it are devil-worshiping, animal sacrificing, followers of Satan.  I need to tell you all this – Paganism is NOT devil worshiping.  Pagans actually don’t believe in the devil.  It angered me so much, that I wanted to prove to the world my spirituality was if anything, stronger than when I was a practicing Catholic.  I joined a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, then became a leader in the community guiding and teaching like-minded individuals who saw and felt the same as I. I finally thought I was home in my faith.  Being able to love God, Jesus and Mary and the Saints and Angels, all while dedicating myself to Mother Earth by committing myself to the fundamentals of holding rituals honoring not just them, but all the deities that all the cultures in the world were made up of.  I felt I was co-existing with Mother Earth herself and I was a handmaiden to her services.  As the years passed, I realized Jesus, Mary, the Saints and the Angels started to take a back burner to other deities whom I wanted to learn and study.  I’ll be honest.  I tried.  I really did.  But it never felt the same.  Literally, I would thank a deity for something they gave me, but if I found myself in trouble, I called on Jesus.  I knew it, and yet continued to block my mind of the hypocrisy I was finding myself in.  Deep in.  How dangerous it was for me to think just because another religion doesn’t believe in something like the devil, didn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

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How funny it was, then, when Jesus decided to take a stand for His cause, and call me back to the land of His living, and in the WEIRDEST place possible.

Jesus has an incredible sense of humor, I’ll tell ya.

In the Autumn of 2016 (funny, 4 years from the last opened door), I started studying Hinduism.  I was listening to a lot of Hindi music, while trying to practice some of the festival rituals that are held usually on the other side of the world.  I even wrote a blog about it here!!!!!

But if you are a subscriber or devoted follower to my website, you know that this was my last blog.  November 6, 2016.  Exactly TWO weeks later, I fell off the proverbial ledge and went underground, like Persephone in the old Greek tales.  For those two weeks, I lingered down there, because something was troubling me.  I felt a weight on my shoulders and my chest was so heavy I couldn’t explain, let alone breathe.  And then it happened.

November 18, 2016.  I took a shower.

I know, that was anti-climatic.  I just wanted you all to take a deep breath, cause we’re about to go down that rabbit hole.

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Okay, so…Here’s where it gets weird:

It started out as nothing special.  It was a Friday night, and my husband was out getting our food after dropping off my step-son at his mothers, my son was at a friend’s for the evening.  It was just me and my doggie, Linus.  I turned on some Native American music in our bedroom and strolled naked into the bathroom where I felt I could take a nice long, hot shower all by myself.  There’s a freedom you feel when you have that alone time, and this was no exception.  I was singing and dancing in the shower, taking my time to clean myself, when all of a sudden, I felt a presence with me.  I turned around, and SO HELP ME GOD,  Jesus was standing in the shower with me.

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I wish I was making this up, but this is the stone cold truth.

There was nothing perverted, obviously, but more or less the shock value from my end created a moment of ice-breakage.  He stood there with his arms crossed, not getting a bit wet, and said, “Sister, WHAT are you doing?”  He had on a white robe, with what looked like a violet colored sash.  He looked exactly like I had always pictured Him.

Frightened wasn’t the word.  Stunned?  Even more so.  I told Jesus that I was taking a shower as He could see, thinking even for a second that maybe this was all being made up in my head, questioning in my head if I fell in the shower and blacked out, did I have wine I forgot I was drinking? But this….this was real. He said, “Don’t patronize me, Bridget! You KNOW what I’m talking about.  ANOTHER RELIGION?  Am I really THIS bad that you want to look for more salvation in something else because you can SEE it?” He sounded exasperated, if not annoyed to the core.

AND STILL, I kept thinking this was all being made up in my head.

And then in a loud, booming voice, He said:

“Do you REALLY want to ruin ALL that you have created up there?”

And the most frightening to me, He said,

“Am I really not enough for you?”

I immediately felt a twinge of pain, or maybe it was guilt, because I couldn’t understand what the HELL was going on, but apparently Jesus was legitimately upset with me.  Upon realizing this, He then sighed and said something I’ll never forget:

“I want you to sing a song for me”, He said, “Remember that song you used to sing in choir, called ‘Hosea?’  Sing that for me. I like to think this is ‘OUR’ song.”  (now, in any other circumstance, anytime given the chance to sing in the shower, I’m going to make that sh** happen.)  But at this point I was having a heated conversation with Jesus in the SHOWER and the fear in me rose up, so I started singing quite softly:

 

“Come back to me, with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart.

Trees do bend, though straight and tall, so must we to others call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you, to your heart where I will speak.

Integrity, and justice, with tenderness, you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.”

 

And just like that, 12 years of my life slowly washed away, like a silent tsunami coming in the middle of the night without any warning.

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Everything I was, everything I THOUGHT I was, everything I thought I was going to be, disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I stood in the shower, looking down on my hands as the water was running off of me, and realized I was alone again.  But this was different: I felt a loneliness I never felt before, and not only was it suffocating, it was profoundly heartbreaking.  I started sobbing to the point I was shaking like someone hit me with a cattle prod. I started banging my fists on the wall of the shower so hard, bottles started falling off the shower shelf.  I started screaming “I’m sorry!  I’m SORRY! What have I done?  I’m so sorry!  Please forgive me!!!!”  But Jesus was no longer there.  I was utterly alone.  I fell to my knees in absolute despair and realized what a fool I was. For over a decade I acted like I loved him and knew him, all the while allowing other things to get in the way; it was the most horrible act of defiance and dishonesty I ever did in my entire life.

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And now I was alone.  It was the darkest moment of my life to date.

But then I heard Him.  And I felt this almost heated warmth flow through my body, as if I was encapsulated within something like an incubator.  As I continued to sob on my knees, water still running, I heard Him:

“Shhhhhhh….Bridget Ohhhhhhh sweetheart, I know…..Welcome back!  Welcome back.  It’s alright.  It’s alright.  Just cry it out.  I never left you, no matter how much you wanted me to let you go, I just couldn’t.  And you know what?  You didn’t want to let go either.  It’s why you kept me silently close to you all these years, even when you told others I wasn’t there….shhhhhhh, no more tears.  It’s over.  The pain has been washed away….I made sure of this.  No more tears, Bridget.  Breathe in your new life.”

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How does one recover from something like that?

I decided to delve into that part of me that has been in-fact, reborn.

I started reading the Bible.  I stopped doing earthly rituals that benefited my wants.  I began to walk on the side I promised myself 12 years ago I would never come back to.  I went back to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, where they welcome all creeds.  I opted NOT to go to a Christian church at first, well, mainly because my brain still has a belief that so many of these big-built theater-like churches are all ego-based ministry trying to pull people in for money and numbers.  Don’t get me wrong, let me explain before I get scolded:  I’m not saying they are ALL this way, it’s just how my brain has been perceiving this for so many years, I can’t remember when the thought first entered my mind. Nevertheless, I started watching documentaries on the Bible, on Christianity as a whole, on Jesus’ humanity and divinity.  And continued to go to the UU Fellowship until I realized I needed something more.

Most importantly, I got back to praying.  At least, the kind of praying I used to do years ago, now with a better understanding rather than I was “told” to say it.

I began listening to people like Kat Kerr, who has been given the gift of visions of Heaven.  And I then realized in an instant, that’s where my focus is going to be.

Heaven.

And what I need to do to get there.

I realized over the last several weeks that everything that I want, my garden, my homestead, future animals like chickens and goats, my front porch farm stand….all of it – has been cooking up in my brain and my heart with the absolute faith that one day I’ll get there.  So, why now is this happening?  Why has Jesus decided to make his presence known in the way it was presented?

I took some time to think about everything.  The shower.  Water.  Emotion.  Water is all about emotion.  And whenever I take a shower, I like to think when the water is falling on me, all the crap and muck from the day is being washed away.

So yeah, in a very different but just as intimate way, I was reborn again.

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What does this mean for the earthly spiritual Bridget who loves to talk about angels, mother earth and the seasons?  Well, just hold on a sec.  I’m still here.  I’m still Bridget. I think that if anything, all my beliefs I have, are just that.  I can’t change what I truly believe to be true, as feelings are neither right nor wrong.  I think it has to do with what and more importantly, HOW we use our beliefs that makes up our character.

So, in the last several weeks, I’ve undergone much change.  And it has been an amazing journey.

But you know what? I’m still burning sage, collecting crystals and such.  But now I have a more intimate understanding of my uses for them. But no worries, I’m still the querky eclectic Bridget that will do anything to get people to smile.

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I’m also going to continue celebrating the seasons through the Celtic Wheel of the Year method.  Ancient farmers used this method, it wasn’t just religious symbolism. Many organic farmers today still work with the moon and the seasons of the year based on these ancient traditions, and not modern commercialism.  So, as far as I’m concerned, Winter is over and Spring is here!  It is early Spring, so things are still dead and it’s pretty damn cold outside.  But some of my potted bulbs outside that don’t get hit with the frost are peeking out already.  As far as I’m concerned, the days of Light and Life are coming back.

I know I may lose friends over this revelation, and that’s okay.  Just as people evolve, I am sure relationships go through the same course.

Today my BFF Jenny and her amazing boyfriend Steven, took me to my first Christian service in what has been many years.  Over the last week, I got to speak to my cousin, Jerry, who told me he was overjoyed and filled with so much love and happiness for me for my conversion and is looking forward to talking with me more.

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have met with so much amazing positive manifestations with my personal life in health and career.  I have found myself immersed into personal Bible study and watching videos that seem to be calling me to watch.  Each day I wake up, I ask for Grace, even though I am not worthy of it.  I pray to have a good day and make good decisions.  And each day has been wonderful.  I feel like a child.  I’m learning all over again.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be saved. But I do know, that feeling the presence of Jesus in my life has turned my life around.  Everything that I am is changed.  But, I am still Bridget.  I promise you that.  I am still open minded.  Still an empathic bad-ass.  Still a devout lover of Mother Earth.  I’m just understanding my life a bit differently now. I’m understanding my spirit now.  And most importantly, I’m understanding my heart.

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This website will eventually change on some levels.  My store will come down and hopefully I will be able to change my tax id to my alias name, The Bohemian Hobbit.  The Spiral Willow will be closing.  My tinctures and teas will still be around, and hopefully one day, I will be selling other things more deserving of my journey. If you are interested in buying certain things on my site, I will be posting them on my Facebook page, The Bohemian Hobbit until all is sold out. I will still be writing about Ascension, Homesteading, Permaculture, my love for Hobbits (well, DUH!), and of course, Spirituality.  But in order for me to write from my heart, you will undoubtedly see the change in my writing.  If you no longer feel comfortable with my writings, know I completely understand and you have every right to go.  I will let you go freely with so much love and admiration, you’ll definitely feel it!!!!

As we begin the week for Valentine’s Day, I find it no coincidence that outside my husband and children, I have fallen madly in love with Jesus and becoming a born-again Christian.  Take that as you will, all I know is that I stand here in witness, to tell you, that I have been changed.  I am changed.  What happened to me, was supernatural.  Was intensely beautiful, and like I said, life – CHANGING.

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And I will pray for the rest of my life this change will not only eventually save me, but will help me walk on a path to save and serve others.

I love you,

Bridget

The Bohemian Hobbit

 

 

Imbolc – The Season of Spring!

 

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(our deck to the back gardens – a good foot of snow has already melted from last weekend)

With the harsh weather that the East Coast was dealt last weekend, much of my excitement for warmer weather went right down the tubes.  I wish I understood why Winter makes me sad enough to want to hide from the world.  But, I have hope!  This Winter has not been bad at all, compared to other years.  The last couple years we were dealt with ridiculous polar vortexes coming from the Artic. But the El Nino phenomena we are experiencing this year, I am grateful for the above normal temperatures so far, even with the blizzard.

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(Plants are still growing in the winter at Mabon House)

I have been diving knee deep into my sweet friend’s Jacqui’s video blogs on her Green Witch Herb School Series.  And as I am typing this, I am watching her Imbolc videos and then it dawned on me…

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IMBOLC IS NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!  OH MY GOD!  Samhain is coming to a close.  And one of my two favorite seasons is about to hit!

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So, if you are reading my blog for the first time, I will explain what I am talking about.

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Imbolc (pronounced IMM-MOLCK), or in Christianized meaning, Candlemas.  It is the Celtic season of Springtime.  The time where our beautiful Earth’s alarm clock starts going off, and when many of our little animals begin to be born (such as goats, sheep, deer, bunnies, etc).  And like many of us, we tend to hit the snooze.  And that’s what she will be doing.  February 1st, St Bridget’s feast day, or the Goddess Brighid’s feast day, is coming up next week.  It is the time where we begin our planning for the seasons of life.

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For me, it really is the beginning of my year.  Many men and woman celebrate the Celtic New Year on Samhain, which is October 31st.  And in a way, I agree.  Yule, or Christmas, is the first holiday of the Celtic new year, which is the welcoming back of the Sun.  And now, we are approaching Imbolc, which allows the early buds of Spring to awaken.  Crocuses, Snow Drops, Tulips, Daffodils, Hyacinths, and other early Spring flowers, will begin to crack open their bulbs and slowly and surely reach out to the light of the sun.  Right now, my beloved bulbs are under a foot and a half of snow.  So, it can be difficult to celebrate the upcoming Spring with all that white on the ground!  But, never fear, Spring WILL come!  That’s the beauty of our world.  Spring always follows Winter.  And for me, Winter is almost over.

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I am sitting here at home today, because we were running out of oil and needed to wait for the oil guy to come today.  I am watching the Green Witch Herb School as I said above, and she is teaching people how to make your own besom with witch’s (scotch) broom flowers, raffia and a piece of driftwood.  I think it is important to craft things that you can hang or show in your own home, because it really empowers the energy of the house as YOUR home.  In this case, I love besoms.  I have brooms in almost every room, and there are brooms at every doorway.  In old folklore, a broom at every door is meant to protect each and every entrance into your home.  At our Lughnasadh celebration in 2014, I had all my Circle ladies make their own broom.  It was so much fun and I look forward to doing more with my ladies this upcoming year.  Sadly, I had to make a difficult decision over the weekend regarding relationships in my life.  I know I made the right decision, but it doesn’t make it any easier.  All in the journey, I guess.  And knowing that I no longer have anything in front of me that would be keeping me from moving on in my journey, it’s almost kind of perfect that Imbolc should be the next holiday.  It’s about new beginnings.  New journeys.  New paths.

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I am currently burning sage in my family room, and the house smells AMAZING.  It’s a shame it’s so cold out, as I love to open the doors and let the fresh air in.  Hopefully this will be a different story come next month.

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Today, since I am home, I will be preparing some of my seeds to be planted in my containers.  Wait?  Isn’t it the end of January?  Yup!  But, now that I have more room, as well as areas where I CAN sprout and seed my fruits and vegetables, I want to give them a head start so they will be super strong by the time they go in end of March, beginning of April.  Baby steps…

I give myself 10 years to make this whole.  To create a self-sustaining homestead based on permaculture principals.  I want to be able to video all of my journey, but I feel especially right now, my sad emotions from the cold weather are keeping me from doing so.  I hope, like I said above, that will change come next month.

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What are YOU doing to plan for Spring?

Ideas for Celebrating Imbolc:

  • Make a St. Bridget’s Cross
  • Create your Garden Planner
  • Light lots of white and red candles
  • Make or decorate a broom
  • Have a gathering of friends to plan your spring and summer
  • Create a sacred space for ritual and meditation
  • Burn sage and smudge your house for the upcoming season

 

 

The Demon Within…

One of the biggest things I deal with during this particular time of the year is the big D.  Most people know what I speak of, and I’m sure many of you are sitting on the other side of your computer nodding in complete and utter understanding.

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Depression, as many know, is when a chemical imbalance in our brains result in a disruption of some-sort, creating a sort of chaos in our bodies that causes hopelessness. Most times, depression is the result of a tragedy a person experiences, whether it be a death, break-up, or any of loss of “something”….Sometimes, in my case, it could be just a simple explanation of the weather 5 feet from me.  It is one of my biggest struggles I face with in life, and every year I pray and pray that somewhere, somehow, this feeling of sadness would end.

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So, let’s talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)….

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It goes without saying that everyone, both of human and animal alike, NEED sunlight.  The vitamins coming from the sun gives off so much energy and a pulse of life itself, there is no wonder why people love to “Sun bathe”.  Sadly, for me, I’m a Celt by blood.  A mixture of Irish, English, Scottish, and German.  So, putting my pasty self outside for more than a few moments will cause my skin to scream.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t love to be out in the sun.  It’s why I am a morning person, so to speak…(I say that because during the Monday-Friday deal, I’m not really worth talking to in the morning, but that’s a whole other story LOL)

In the Northern Hemisphere, at the time of Litha, otherwise known as Midsummer or the Summer Solstice, the Sun is at his prime, beaming down with such veracity, it even finds the shadiest of places.  But sadly, after that prime day of days, the Sun begins its fall.  And within 6 months, the Sun, although still shining, does not have the luster and awe that we had just a few months before.  For many people, this time is the beginning of Winter.  And we start our slow climb back to the manifestation of the gifts the Sun gives us in the Spring and Summer.

So, during the time after the holiday and New Year season ends, there is a period of silence.  Nothing really happens until the next little break, which is Valentine’s Day.  And then, after that, is the Spring Equinox, Ostara, or as many know it to be, Easter.

What do we do during this period?  Well, for me, I kind of go crazy and start cleaning and regrouping my life, creating goals for the warmer weather to come, all while taking care of my mind, body and soul, who is sadly ill-at-ease over the lack of warm sunlight, growth and overall life.

It’s why I love living myself according to the Celtic Seasonal Calendar.  It makes sense for me, because I always was like a month early to prepare for each season/holiday.  In just a few weeks, MY Winter will be over.  On February 1st, I celebrate the feast day of St. Bridget, who holds the keys of the kingdom for my favorite Season: Spring.

February 1st in the Celtic Calendar is the Season of Imbolc (Pronounced IMM-OLCK).  It is the beginning of the Springtime, the time where our Mother Earth is stirring and beginning her slow process of “waking up”.  Just as we, each morning, open our eyes, stretch our arms and legs, and get reacquainted with the morning and the light, so does Mother Earth.  The soil, through its Winter hibernation, begins to warm up, allowing the seeds within the soil to take heed and blossom.  One of the greatest gifts we can get in the Early Springtime are Crocuses.  They are Mother Nature’s quiet little trumpets, usually peeking up within the snow and cold ground, alerting us all that warm weather IS coming back.  That is the beauty of this planet.  Of where I live.  We know Spring follows Winter.  It’s how life is.

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So, what do I do in the meantime?  Even as I type this out, on this lazy Sunday morning, I feel sad.  Sad because going outside would require me to bundle up because the air is SO cold, it would actually hurt my skin.  Make my eyes water.  Even the “smell” of life, is not there.

What makes me gaga over being outside?  Feeling the grass beneath my bare feet.  Smelling the seasonal flowers breezing through the air.  Seeing the magnificent trees, shrubs and bushes blossom with beautiful green leaves…In the Celtic myths, Autumn and Winter meant Jack Frost was out and about, dropping hints of frost and ice among everything alive, telling them it’s time to die or go to sleep….In the Spring and Summer Months, Jack in the Green is our go-to guy.  He is the one who warms the skies and the Earth, and instead of frost, we have beautiful droppings of dew.

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(one of MANY Jack in the Green Parades held every year in Europe)

This is what makes my pulse quicken, my heart smile and my soul beam.  Warmth, light….like Persephone feeling so out of touch down in the Underworld, where she could not use her Gift with the Living World, and patiently waited until it was time for her to go back up, and be among the Living again, to feel the warmth of the Sun on her skin…Yes, I feel the exact same way.

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Since going off all Depression and Anxiety medicine, and opting for my Kratom intake, I can honestly say it hasn’t been TOO smooth sailing.  Of course it would be easy for me to put some chemicals into my body and numb myself…but it would be a disservice to me to do so.  I know not everyone agrees with me on that.  I always welcome other’s opinions and ideas…it’s just…it’s not for me.  I’ve been very careful over the last several years to deal with my addiction to pain killers…and for someone like me who is always in some kind of pain, it’s an easy excuse for me to pop a pill and call it a day.

No, as much as times like these where I wish I had something to numb my physical and emotional pain of the Winter, I know that in the end, it helps me SEE who I really am, because I am completely bare and open to the senses entirely.  I feel things now more than I ever have.  So, yes, the depression sucks.  But I also know, that there are times I feel such immense joy, that knowing I wouldn’t even feel an inch of that when trying to control my depression with medicine, gives me the honest knowing that I’m doing the right thing.

Don’t get me wrong:  I think about taking something every day.  Even right now, I feel incredibly blue (Get it?  Winter “blues”?) and staring at the walls may be what I need right now to numb the sadness of the lack of life outside….

This depression began in 2001.  And slowly progressed as the years went on…Now that I am in the beginning stages of my body slowing down and turning into the Crone, I feel this even more.

How do I deal with it?  It’s a demon inside of me I deal with every day between Thanksgiving and about Mid-March.  For some people it’s less time, and for others, it’s more.  It feels like the Postpartum depression I had for the first 4 weeks after my son’s birth.  It begins as a nagging feeling, that turns into a feeling of dread.  Dread?  Yup, dread.  It overtakes me like a demon overtakes a human…I cry at everything and anything, I sleep more, I stare more, and I tend to lash out more.  My husband, sons, parents, sisters and closest friends know it the depression talking.  The know this silly little hobbit doesn’t usually act like this, and know how to approach me during my times of struggle.  They know and respect the fact I don’t want chemicals in my body.  They are patient and kind, and allow me the time and patience I need for myself to understand how my body reacts to this rough season.

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(seriously, whoever created these are a GENIUS)

Kratom certainly helps, but, it is just a band aid.  It does NOT take away the full feelings.  But it does lessen the load.  And the best part?  It does not numb me.  If there could be anything that I hate, it is the numbness of my body, mind and soul.  To lose the essence of your life just because there’s a period of time each year where I feel sad, it’s just not enough for me to make that kind of decision.  That’s not for me to judge anyone who DOES.

So, for the next few weeks, I will be quietly tinkering away at my new home.  Putting things in their place, and dealing with the sadness I not only feel for the cold months, but for other things I cannot control.  It’s a continued lesson in humility, and I love that I’m always up for the challenge, no matter how tired and sad I’m feeling at the moment.

What makes me happy during the colder months?

  • Music – Usually Celtic/Irish/Scottish music, 80’s Pop, and some Sacred World music, from either Lisa Thiel, Snatnam Kaur, or Spiral Dance
  • Painting – I am still trying to find my easle, but the moment I do, I’m off!
  • Festivals – There is an amazing Scottish and Irish Festival that happens in February, and it truly lifts up my spirits EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
  • Garden Planning – For the first time since 2007, I will have my own garden again.  Planning it has definitely helped tremendously during this time.
  • Snuggles – My boys know all these need to do is snuggle up to me, it will bring a big smile.  I love my family.
  • Cleaning – I tend to light A LOT of incense that smells of lavender, jasmine, and other springy smells…as well as light lots of candles…and the smell of Pine Sol?  OMG Don’t go there with me…it’s like heaven haha!
  • Ritual – if there is anything I love to do, is to be in ritual with myself.  That time you give to yourself, whether it is meditating, chanting, praying, or even something simple like taking a nice, warm bath…yes, it helps a great deal.

I know there are probably more, but these are the big ones.  Tell me about what you do!  I am always looking for suggestions.

Lots of Hobbit Love,

Bridget

 

Year In Review…Goals for 2016

10307193_1559900494267589_6711902782439770635_nAnyone else thinking this year went super fast?  I mean, I feel like it was just a couple weeks ago I was getting into our SUV after our wedding reception.  That was April.  So much has happened in this last year I cannot even begin to start.  So, instead, I’m just going to plunge right into goals for next year.

As many of you know, I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions.  I think they are truly lofty aspirations that end of not even making it out of the month of January.  People need to stop doing that to themselves!  Instead, make goals.  Instead of making a resolution to START something, make a goal, which is an END result!  That way, you don’t feel pressured into starting at a particular time, and can figure it out as you go along.  So what are my goals for 2016?

Well, I have a few.  And boy, a couple of them are big ones.  I think we should all at least have one big goal for the year, so you don’t feel as if your life is becoming stagnant.  For me, it’s a change.  A major change.  I really can’t go far more into it than that because the change I am considering is going to upset people I know.  And really, I’d rather deal with it when the time actually comes, then deal with the backlash of debate and ridicule from people who claim I would be making a huge mistake, being flighty, and so on.  So, instead, I’m going to talk about the little stuff…

#1.  The Spiral Willow is going to become more active.  I will admit, I’m a little bummed I’ve got a big inventory of really amazing stuff for a decent and competetive price, but yet no one seems to want to buy.  It bums me out when people seek me out for Oracle Readings and Tarot Readings, but since I’ve started requesting donations for my readings, all of a sudden it’s radio silent out there. Makes for a sad hobbit.  So, I will be doing more sale and more incentives, and even considering doing a boxed subscription each month.

#2. I’m going to learn how to play the guitar. (Again).  A few weeks ago my husband came home with all his guitars that have been in storage.  I myself own a guitar but it is too large for me.  I found my husband had a red guitar, a little smaller than the one I own.  I put it in my arms, and it felt RIGHT.  It was as if my fingers were tingling.  So yeah.  Time to re-learn.

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#3. I want to take my kids to New York and Baltimore.  My husband and I talked about this at great length, and we’d really like to find time to get our family to go to these places for the day.  They are not far from our homes and our boys deserve to see a little culture.

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#4.  I want to take a PROPER vacation camping/going to the shore.  Like a whole week off from work.  Not a mini vacation here and there.  I want to wake up every morning and smell the forest air. Walk on the trails.  Read in a hammock.  Swim in the lake or pool.  Like Everyday.

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#5.  I would like to start my Red Tent community.  Please see my page right here for more information.

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#6.  I need my house to be fully unpacked and readied to be lived in.  We’ve been living here since the beginning of October and we haven’t even neared the half way point.  A lot of this has to be with no vacation time left.  So, I am hoping to make a move in getting that done in early 2016.

#7. I plan to create more.  Paint, draw, work with my herbs, forage, create my oils and tinctures, yes, this is the year my creations are going to take more of a hold on this world.

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#8. I plan to meditate more.  Finding alone/quiet time can be difficult, no matter how hard you try.  Even if it’s from your own mind, you can never seem to get out of a certain place without having your mind racing with thoughts.  I want to create a daily ritual where I quiet my mind and just listen to my breath.

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#9. I plan to let go.  I have been holding on to things for so long, it is only habit now I keep holding on.  Not anymore.  So much of my weight is in emotional baggage that people expect me to carry, either because they cannot forgive me for things, or have expectations of me doing penance for the rest of my life for things I did in the past.  I cannot control other people’s emotions, and so, since I’ve been trying to hold on for a modicum of relief in certain relationships, I just know it’s not going to be the case, and I’m going to let go of them.

#10. I’m going to smile every day.  There is no question amongst my friends and family alike that I haven’t been happy with certain things in my life.  Some of these changes that I stated above will result in this #10.  I deserve nothing less than to be the happiest I can be every day.  And damned if I’m not going to try my hardest to achieve that.

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And so, those are my goals.  Have you thought about yours?

Samhain and the Time of No Time…An Earth Spiritualist’s POV…

wheel_of_the_year    Today I was listening to the Starz’ Series Outlander Volume 1 and 2 Soundtrack on my computer and couldn’t help but feel a jolt of excitement.  Samhain is coming up next week, and if anyone has watched the Outlander Series, Claire’s journey begins on the feast of Samhain.  (Mind you, the book is different and shows that her journey begins on Beltane, but I kind of like this change, since Samhain is literally strewn in mystery, which is what time traveling is all about, right?)

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Samhain.  The end and yet the beginning of the Celtic New Year.  Halloween itself started about 1300 years ago in the Celtic Isles, however Samhain has been around much much longer than that.  This Holy Day, was the original holy day of obligation that many today know it as All Saints/All Souls Day.  The ORIGINAL holiday was called Samhain or Samhuinn (pronounced SAH-WHEN).

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(Samhain Ritual and Celebration at Columcille Megalith Park in Bangor, PA 2013 – Photo taken by Sean DeStephano)

So, how can I go from understanding myself as a Galactic Starseed during this Ascension process yet still can resonate with my Earthly bound needs?  Well, for me it’s quite simple.  Our souls are galactically bound to the Heavens, to our Creator.  It’s so vast and so strong and powerful, there is no denying where our souls come from. (at least in my opinion).  However, we are humans of the Earth right now, and we asked to be a part of this planet to learn the lessons our souls need right now.  And there is no doubt, no doubt, in my mind, how connected I am to Mother Earth.

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From gardening, to the Moon, to understanding my body’s wants and needs, and how this is all connected to the core of my humanness, my soul.  See, what many people don’t either understand or care to want to educate themselves on is that these Earth Spirituality faiths were the original religions.  Yes, I know it may come as a shock to many, but these “religions” came before Judiasm, before Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, and so on.  What has happened today is that Jesus’ legacy was severely altered by subjecting those followers to believe that honoring the planet we walk upon should be viewed as “evil”.  Men perversed the Earth religions because it overpowered their own beliefs.  How the written word has literally been changed time and time again over thousands of years.  How sad is that????  Think about it this way:  You decide to start a company.  You begin in the trenches and work your way from the bottom.  Then, something happens…people start buying into your business.  You make enough money and some big investment firm offers you a proposition that you simply could NOT turn way.  You leave your company in the hands of those who never knew what you had to do to get where you are today.  Fast forward 5 years, and everything you originally started the company was no longer there.  The product changed.  The logo changed.  The mission statement changed.  Everything you thought of, dreamed of, was gone.  Why?  Because someone else decided they wanted to make it different.  And all it takes is a little marketing and boom….it’s a new brand.

This is precisely what happened here.  The old religions were shunned aside, making way for something different.  And I mean, come on, let’s look at Christianity.  The teachings Jesus taught.  Do you REALLY think that’s what the church stands for today?  I’m not looking for debate here, I’m not looking to insult anyone’s faith.  In fact, I love Christianity.  Well, the way it WAS, at least.  I live in a way, a Christian life.  I am kind to EVERYONE, even those who have hurt me.  I forgive.  I work hard and am humble. (at least I try to be).  I try to set a good example for my children.  I am loyal.  And I believe EVERYONE is welcome to enjoy the glories of eternal life, no matter WHAT faith you walk by.

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But see, I’m more than that.  I wish you could feel what I feel when I go outside at night and look up at the Moon.  Or when I light some incense and close my eyes and think about how I can be a better person in life.  Or a take a set of cards and lay them out, trying to find out what I need to do to work on myself.  Or when I stand in front of a table, with statues or pictures of people I love and honor, and pray to help me here in life.  Now, let me ask you:  Do I sound like a person who is evil?  Do you think I am playing with fire?  Because that’s truly what people think.    I’ve learned to let it go, no matter how much it breaks my heart.  But my love of this planet, my creator, and everyone around it is MORE important than a few people who think I am damned to eternal fires.  It just has to be this way.

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(The Moon from our deck just now)

This coming weekend I will be spending a quiet evening with a couple of people I am incredibly close to.  My next of kin outside my own blood family.  And we will be honoring those who have passed on, especially those in the last year.  I have a list of friend’s relatives, family and friends who have been asked to be put on my special intentions list, and we will be remembering them that evening.  I will call them to join us for dinner, and to stay with us in deep and spiritual meditation, reminding them how much they were loved here, and how they will never be forgotten.  In Latin communities, they call it Dia De Los Muertos.  In Christian communities, they call it All Saints/All Souls Day.  Again, let me ask you, why is it okay for those in those communities to do what I do, yet what I do is evil?  Asking people to let down their guard, as well as their egos, can be quite a challenge.  But I always welcome this conversation, because I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they believe in.  And as long as they respect me the way I respect them, we will live in more harmony.

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(Ritual of Dia De Los Muertos in Mexico)

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(Catholic Cemetery honoring All Souls Day in Bangladesh)

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(Traditional Altar honoring the ancestors at Samhain)

Samhain is a time of reflection, a time where we go into a void until the Winter Solstice, which is the beginning of Yule, the welcoming back of the sun, or in Christian communities, the Son.  I love this time of year, because it is an amazing experience to really go inward, and let go of your ego, and you realize what true humility is like.  It’s precious, and I take advantage of every moment I have in reflective solitude.

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I am going to begin doing classes for those who are interested in my path.  I look forward to helping people on their path, whether it is along my side, or on a different road.  Either way, I will always be there for those who need me.

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Another great thing about the next several weeks of being in “no time”, is in that reflection, I will find more time for my art.  My art in writing, painting, drawing, and other crafts.  If you are interested in a painting or drawing or anything of that matter, please let me know.  I have found my best work, albeit in my poetry and artwork, always comes between November and the first 3 weeks of December.  My inspiration?  The skies at Sunset.  Trust me when I say they are extraordinary.

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(December 2013 Sunset near Appalachian Mountains)

Will you be participating in anything honoring your ancestors this week?  If so, how?  I love to hear about what everyone is going to be doing.

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Photo:Copyright JOE;CONLON;ATHBOY;;;

(Photo:  Joe Conlon)

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The Ascension Series: A Download of a Moment In Between Lives…

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Sometimes it hits me like a mac truck, other times, it comes flowing gently like a sea breeze…

The dreams and feelings are coming back. It’s been a couple months since I wrote about Ascension. But, today these feelings, that can go so deep into my body, are coming back and back in full force. Sometimes, all it takes is a song, a picture, or something my body seems to react to, before I get a download of information from those outside our physical realm. Yes, I do a lot of channeling but do not talk about it because it took many years for me to realize it wasn’t my own ego. Today I saw this picture:

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And immediately my body started to tingle and tears welled up in my eyes. I immediately became what many would view as homesickness.

I didn’t ask for this. I never wanted to be like this. To have these abilities. I can’t even begin to start the bullying I get for who I am. I’m no one special, and yet I am very special. I wish I could make this go away sometimes and just be “normal”, whatever that definition truly represents. It’s bad enough there are people in my life that think I am a complete whackadoodle, but I also know that if I continue to keep these thoughts, these ideas, these feelings, deep within me, I will eventually implode.

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But then, I look at pictures, listen to certain music, and my heart opens up SO wide that fear strikes almost immediately that people will take that vulnerability and attack it with full force.

Someone once said that it would be pretty arrogant of us to think that out of all in the universe, WE are the only beings that live within it.  Even with NASA and other scientists around the world who are finally coming out to admit there IS life outside this planet, people STILL don’t believe it.

Here’s a bit of a fun thought:  Most of us in this world do not originate from Earth. I know that’s hard for people to comprehend. Because right now, at this very moment, this is all we know. Earth is all we know. But so many of us have experienced so many lifetimes on this planet, as well as other planets and universes, that it would be too much for our minds to take in all at once. It’s why we reincarnate. It’s why we have Akashic Records. Between lives, we have the ability to sit down and go over all of our lives, check patterns and see what areas in our soul’s evolution do we still need to work on.

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For me, it’s forgiveness on both sides of the coin. It is truly one of my greatest challenges. So, this life I am leading now I have been challenged literally in all areas of forgiveness from the time I was very little. To learn about forgiving someone and to be forgiven. I have surrendered myself to let things happen as they come. And learn from every one of my mistakes, whether they were self-inflicted or done unto me.

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Right now, I have a home sickness for a place my Earth life cannot remember. I see a vast city, full of white buildings. Crystalline palaces and roads that were so iridescent that one would think you could see right through them. Colors our earthly eyes cannot understand. Plants and trees no one has ever imagined. The air is so pure it is intoxicating to our lungs. Now, some people would call this “Heaven.” And you know, maybe it is! I don’t know. All I know is that it is my home. And right now my heart and soul is longing to be there.

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Now, before people get freaked out…No, I am NOT insinuating I am depressed, suicidal, or anything of that matter. All I am stating is that my soul is continuing its ascension process and every once in a while I get a jolt of something that brings me to a new level. Right now, I just hit a new one. Lately, these jolts have been somewhat painful. But this one…Oh this one, is lovely. It helps me remember why I love Earth so much. Why I love gardening so much. I realized earlier that in this other world, I worked in the agriculture area, as a gardener and animal care taker. I live on the outskirts of this city, near water and forests of such lush, green beauty that I can almost taste it!

You want to take a walk with me in this? Read on as the download commences…

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There is some sort of platform on the edge of this world, where ships of all kinds land. It helps keep the atmosphere of the world at peak levels. There are waterfalls all around this landing area to help ionize the chemicals that may come into the atmosphere. There are very little stairs in this world, as most of the places higher up have ramps. Getting off the ship and onto the base itself is quite simple. However the trek to the city is where the world is going to be at. Mainly because there are very little vehicles allowed in this world for travel, so most people travel by foot, or if you have the flight ability, float or fly. I have a small ability towards flight, but I don’t use it much, so I find myself walking mostly. The road to the city is amazing. Tall trees that look Willows but have the bark of Birch line the forests. Animals are everywhere, and are kind to the beings of this planet. All the animals on this planet are Herbivores. The clothes I am wearing are a bluish/grayish/purplish in nature, and I am wearing pants, a shirt and a long coat/robe over it. I have grayish boots on with material that resembles sheep wool. The air smells of jasmine, so I must assume it is Springtime. I do know that this world experiences mostly Spring, Summer and Autumn. The Winter is dry and cold, but unlike the freezing temperatures the Northeast of the US gets. Most of the time the weather is quite pleasant, with very little rain. Yet the plants continue to thrive, mainly because of a hydro/aquaponics technique that flows underground with the rivers and oceans on the planet. So, the plants get their water from underground.

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After walking a couple hours I come to a clearing, where there is a massive marble wall that lines the city limits. I know I am close to home. I veer off to the left, which is where my home is. I can see it from here, down into the valley, the grass is like a Kelley green. I can see the goats from where I am standing, and some are coming towards me, as they recognize who I am. Yes, I am a goat farmer. (which makes me understand my love of goat cheese on Earth). I live with about 14 people, mainly family members, spread out on a ranch that is not like the ranches we see in the US. No, the buildings of my ranch are 1 floor, very long and wide. There are no windows, mainly because there is very little wind ever. The ranch itself is very open. It’s made of white stone, which almost resembles a white adobe, only much larger. I live on the Southeast end of the city, right inside the entrance.

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The last time I was home, there were only about 5-6 people living there, as the others were incarnated in other lives. I can sense the excitement inside of me, because I know I am home and never want to leave.

The last time I was home, my grandparents were there, along with a couple cousins, my brother and an Aunt. No, I need to be frank here, when I say family, and I mention them here, they are not the same as the Earth family I have. Yes, I do know that some of my Earth family here are also my soul family, but most of them are not. They are familiars from the city, while others are not from my planet.

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My brother is the first to see me, and rushes outside to greet me. He was preparing to go deep into the city to do some bartering, and I decided to go with him. No one else was home at the time, as my family was out and about, so we set out to go into the city. I can see how tall and elongated the buildings are. There is music in the air, yet I do not know where it is coming. It’s sounds angelic and yet electronic in nature. There are parks, houses and neighborhoods all around. It’s like everything is glistening, yet there was no rain. The air is different when you get deeper into the city, as one can feel the excitement as you near the center. It smells like incense almost, like you are near a church, even though there are NO churches on my planet. This I do remember. I look off to the right and see my school. Yes, part of my coming back also means I need to go back to school. I know that the next day I am to meet with my guides and leaders to discuss my previous life, find out where I went right, where I went wrong, what do I see for the next incarnation, and the lessons I need help in. I am an older soul, so I do know that my schooling is coming to an end soon. I do know I am helping out the guides with the newer/younger souls. The younger souls tend to come back quickly because so many of them choose suicide in their life because they do not understand how to handle the stressful situations that a physical life comes with.

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I am beginning to see familiar faces. Some that I feel I haven’t seen in a millennia. There is so much love that surrounds the air itself you could almost see it. It almost reminds me of a busy spring afternoon in New York’s Central Park. People are laying around in the grass on blankets, some playing music, some in the depths of conversation, some reading a book. The activity in the city is electric, yet soothing. This definitely resonates with me, due to the fact I have an equal love for living in the city and living in the country, and here on Earth never understood why I loved the city when I never lived in one.

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We come to a building, which is the bartering center. There are stalls lined up of people with all their works, whether it is food, art, building supplies, you name it, it’s there. It’s a massive center, yet it feels so welcoming walking into it. The clothes most people are wearing are mutes tones of blue, gray, white, green, and purple. Most people are in pants, with those in long dress-like clothes are the teachers and spiritual guides/mentors. Everyone is so happy and friendly. There is very little animosity or issues that go on here. There is never any tension between people, and for those that are, are newer/younger souls that may be in the throes of new education.

There is so much light but you cannot see a particular “sun”. It never truly turns dark, as even in the depth of night, it only gets dark enough to look like dusk on a summer’s eve. The sky turns purple and there are so many stars in the sky it would be impossible to count.

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There is so much to do in the city. There are restaurants, grocery stores, libraries, schools, music clubs, and so on. There seem to be celebrations always going on for one reason or another. While my brother is speaking to one of the merchants, I walk around the city in amazement, listening to the music coming from somewhere, watching some people dance in the park, etc…

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There is no time here. Sure, there is day and night, but not like the clock time we deal with here on earth. There are never set schedules, even though you know to be somewhere when you need to be there. I know this because tomorrow I am going back to school and meeting with my mentors to talk about my life. I get to go to my Akashic Records Room and go over patterns of this past life and the ones before. My goal is to spend a little more time here than last time, as I reincarnated fairly quickly between lives the last time. It may explain the troubles I continually faced in my last life. But for now, my first day back, I rest easy. I look up into the clear blue sky and watch the ships pass over.

And that’s it. That’s all that came to me.

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