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Q & A From the Last Blog….

meadow   Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, so-to-speak, I got inundated with a ton of questions from people, friends, family and you lovely readers, about this “sudden” but not sudden change, how it has affected my life and the lives around me, and what’s going to happen going forward.  So without further ado, here goes the questions:

  1. Bridget, congratulations on finding faith. Your story is really awesome but how does one go from a certain faith/philosophy to a complete 180 with another faith?

Bridget:  This is the most asked question I have been asked since coming out a few weeks ago.  I wish I could explain it better, but it’s like this:  I was the Bridget most people have known for over a decade, and then I took a shower.  When I got out of the shower, every thought, idea, belief and understanding shifted.  Like a mountain range fault that decided to move a few inches, creating an impact for hundreds of miles.  This is precisely what happened to me.  How I went from believing in a specific idea, then after taking that shower, I no longer believed in it, I can’t explain.  It was a supernatural event, plain and simple.

 

  1. What is going to happen to the community you founded 3 years ago based on your former beliefs?

Bridget:  Last year, I went on a sabbatical due to my health issues.  I find it strangely coincidental that things started shifting months before the event ever occurred.   At this point, the community will no longer be what it was, since as its leader, I can no longer teach the philosophies I had been teaching.  It would be awesome to create a Bible/worship/ministry study group out of it, but I’m thinking most will not be up for that.  One never knows, though.

 

  1. How has your family handled your change? They must be so excited! 

Bridget:  Well, not exactly in truth, and really I cannot blame them.  Sure, they are thrilled that I have decided to come back full time to Jesus, but growing up in a Roman Catholic household, even though it is of Christian origin, there are certain dogmatic doctrines within the Catholic Canon Law that stipulates certain things that I happen to disagree on, which caused me to join a Protestant Christian church rather than go back to my Catholic upbringing.  Adult baptism, female pastors/ministers, etc are just a couple of issues I challenge the Catholic Church with, and I know for a fact the Church does not appreciate that.  So one needs to respect those differences…Despite our differences, though, my family is the most amazing people, and I know they love me unconditionally, no ifs, ands or buts.  I do have a cousin who is born again, and he has become even a more protective brother in Christ for me.  Jerry and I had always been close growing up, and coming to this faith only brought us closer.

 

  1. I know you love to watch videos to learn about stuff.  Who has been your go-to channels or websites to keep up with your journey?

 

Bridget:  Oh dear!  Where should I start?  There are quite a few!!!!  Well, Jessica from Truth at Home, Starry Hilder, James and Lea from Philia Ministries, The Fundamental Home, Fouch-a-Matic and Esther Emery, Patara from Appalachia Homestead, Melanie from Road to the Farm, just to name a few!!!!!!  All of them are homesteaders, living their lives according to God, and well, I am just in awe of these amazing godly women!!!!!!!  Go subscribe to their channels on YouTube!!!!  You’ll thank me for it!!!!

 

  1. How has this affected your personal relationship with God?

Bridget:  It has magnified it! Praise God! I honestly feel that I needed to go through the trials and tribulations in my life, because the Father has been preparing me for something big.  I feel my ministry in life is going to finally come to fruition in the next few years.

 

  1. What going to happen to your blog?

Bridget:  Nothing.  My blog is my blog.  Just because I no longer believe in some of the things I talked about on my blog, doesn’t make them irrelevant to other people.  I think down the road, I will eventually archive those blog posts, but for right now, the mystical stuff will come down once I am able to sell the remainder of my inventory.  Plus, I will be putting up a disclaimer to show any new readers about my change.  And I think some of those readings are going to be a great reminder of how dangerously close I came from losing myself to evil.

 

  1. What are you going to do with the friends and family who won’t support you on this?  Don’t those closest to you have a say in making sure you are making the right decisions in your life?

Bridget:  (yes, this question WAS asked)….Um, well, of course they have a say, this is a free will zone, is it not?  But whether or not they have the right to tell me what to do, well, as a 43 year old woman living in a free-ish country, I can easily say that I have my own mind, and without trying to sound snarky in any way, no one REALLY has the right to tell me how to live. Besides God, the only person I answer to is my husband Scott, because he is the head of our family.  I’ve always been a free spirit, so if anything, being closer to God than I have ever been before, will only magnify the love and wonder I have of this world we live in.  I can ONLY hope people see how cool it is to love Jesus!

 

  1. Have you found a church you feel comfortable going to?

Bridget:  YES!  About a mile away from my home, there is an amazing community called Trinity Lighthouse Evangelical Church.  My friends Jenny and Steven invited me there, and I feel so welcomed and comfortable there.  It’s an amazing church, with even a more amazing Pastor.  Even his wife, I feel so kindred with her.  Like she completely GETS me!  And although I have been asked to give lots of churches a try to find the one best suited for me, right now I’m in a good place.  And I look forward to continuing going there.

 

  1. What happened to you going to the Unitarian Universalist Church?

Bridget:  Ah, yes.  This sadly has hurt my heart to stop going there.  I had been going there on and off for almost 5 years.  I spoke to many of the parishoners there, who asked me to reconsider coming back, because in all my years of going to ANY church, this was the one that was like family to me. To put it quite simply, I’m heartbroken to not see them each Sunday.  From Kay, Desiree, Erica, Nick, MaryAnn and Carla, and so many more, not being able to see them actually causes a physical pain, but I know that right now, this is where I need to be right now.  Honestly, I wish there was a way to see both communities each week.

  1. Is this the reason why you stopped blogging for the last few months?

Bridget:  Yes and no.  “Yes” in the way that my brain was going in about a zillion directions, and I could not keep one subject in my head long enough to jot something down.  And then “No” in the way that Wintertime is a very difficult time for me.  Living in Pennsylvania has its many ups during the Spring, Summer and Fall time.  But the moment old man Winter comes to visit, my health deteriorates as well as my state of mind.  Even as I type this on Tuesday, my mind has been filled with worry and anxiety of the raging Nor’easter happening outside.  Seeing gray skies with snow on the ground, crushes my heart.  My heart lies in warmer climates, where life is teeming and abundant.  For 3-4 months, I look upon dormant trees and bushes without their leaves, dead, brown leaves scattered like the memories of the warmer days the year before.  And it truly makes me ridiculously sad.

In light of that, though, I tend to pray more in the Wintertime, mainly because even with all my family and friends, I feel incredibly lonely and know that God is listening to me when I am in my darkest moments.  So, I turn inward, write more in my journal rather than my blog, pray and have lots of contemplation time.  It is when I tend to hear God the most!

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So….that’s it, folks.  Those are the top ten questions I have been asked in the last few months over what’s happened to me.  Once this weather starts to stabilize and get warmer in the weeks to come, you will see more gardening/homesteading blogs and hopefully a video blog soon.  I would love to get everyone’s feedback on my thoughts for the upcoming gardening season and what people would like to see this old Hobbit girl try out!  This is Winters last Hurrah this week, so I am trying to keep that in mind with lots of love and hope for Spring and new life to come.

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If you have any additional questions you want answered, send me a message or comment below.

Taking that Other Path in the Fork Of the Road…

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One of my favorite sayings I like to say when I feel I need to have a heart to heart with someone – I like to call it a “Come to Jesus” talk.  Sometimes the most amazing and profound events in our lives tend to be also hilariously ironic.  This is precisely the case over the last couple months.

I’m going to tell you something that I didn’t think I would EVER utter to anyone.  This includes my husband, my sons, my parents, my sisters, my family and devoted friends.  I don’t necessarily know why I need to bear witness to this, but I do believe it’s time for me to speak out.  Since November 18, 2016, I’ve been quietly obsessing over it, because of how much it changed me.  And mark my word: I am changed.  Incidentally, my son Tim told me last night, “Mom, I don’t know about you, but there is something really DIFFERENT about you that I’ve noticed the last several weeks.”

At this point, only a collective few, including my husband and son, know what happened.

I’ve been on an incredible journey, and I guess now, it’s okay to talk about it.

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First things first: I was born with the addiction gene in my DNA.  And this gene has taken front and center throughout my life. Food, prescription drugs, relationships, spirituality, you name it, if my heart felt a flutter, I took it for all it was.  Kind of like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Right now, my latest addiction seems to be on something I have taken for granted for many many years.

I am finding it very challenging to really put into words what I want to say. But trust me on this:  This will probably be a long post, because I believe once I get talking, it’s hard to stop.

Most of the time my head tends to be in the clouds, thinking and dreaming of things that I want, not just for myself, but everyone I love.  However, something needs to be said, when your life has been on this particular journey and living this particular belief, when all of a sudden it comes to an abrupt stop for no reason.  And like the flip of a switch, everything that I believed in, held and cherished for so many years, started to dissipate.

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Going back:  The moment I first felt a twinge in my spirituality was when I was a semi-practicing Catholic.  This spiritual “awakening”, so-to-speak, occurred in the early months of 2004.  4 years later, in 2008, I was beginning my life without my soon-to-be ex-husband and found myself delving into another type of spirituality, which many called Paganism. It was something darker than what I had been used to, and yet it fascinated me to my core nonetheless.  Honestly?  I fell in love with Paganism.  Not just because of the rituals or clothing or music, but because I felt I could hold MYSELF accountable for things, rather than feel like some heavenly parental figure is up in the skies waiting for me.  For 4 years, I laid low, while continuing to practice as a Catholic, while secretly delving deep into practicing Paganism.  But I still loved Jesus.  That never swayed.  I truly believed in the heart of my hearts that my love for Jesus actually grew from my studies, and found I started calling myself a Christo-Pagan. (There is such a religion that exists).

In 2012, I finally made the decision to leave the Catholic Church, and be open about loving my Earth Spirituality.  In essence, I called it that because Paganism has a societal stigma that causes people to believe that all who practice it are devil-worshiping, animal sacrificing, followers of Satan.  I need to tell you all this – Paganism is NOT devil worshiping.  Pagans actually don’t believe in the devil.  It angered me so much, that I wanted to prove to the world my spirituality was if anything, stronger than when I was a practicing Catholic.  I joined a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, then became a leader in the community guiding and teaching like-minded individuals who saw and felt the same as I. I finally thought I was home in my faith.  Being able to love God, Jesus and Mary and the Saints and Angels, all while dedicating myself to Mother Earth by committing myself to the fundamentals of holding rituals honoring not just them, but all the deities that all the cultures in the world were made up of.  I felt I was co-existing with Mother Earth herself and I was a handmaiden to her services.  As the years passed, I realized Jesus, Mary, the Saints and the Angels started to take a back burner to other deities whom I wanted to learn and study.  I’ll be honest.  I tried.  I really did.  But it never felt the same.  Literally, I would thank a deity for something they gave me, but if I found myself in trouble, I called on Jesus.  I knew it, and yet continued to block my mind of the hypocrisy I was finding myself in.  Deep in.  How dangerous it was for me to think just because another religion doesn’t believe in something like the devil, didn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

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How funny it was, then, when Jesus decided to take a stand for His cause, and call me back to the land of His living, and in the WEIRDEST place possible.

Jesus has an incredible sense of humor, I’ll tell ya.

In the Autumn of 2016 (funny, 4 years from the last opened door), I started studying Hinduism.  I was listening to a lot of Hindi music, while trying to practice some of the festival rituals that are held usually on the other side of the world.  I even wrote a blog about it here!!!!!

But if you are a subscriber or devoted follower to my website, you know that this was my last blog.  November 6, 2016.  Exactly TWO weeks later, I fell off the proverbial ledge and went underground, like Persephone in the old Greek tales.  For those two weeks, I lingered down there, because something was troubling me.  I felt a weight on my shoulders and my chest was so heavy I couldn’t explain, let alone breathe.  And then it happened.

November 18, 2016.  I took a shower.

I know, that was anti-climatic.  I just wanted you all to take a deep breath, cause we’re about to go down that rabbit hole.

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Okay, so…Here’s where it gets weird:

It started out as nothing special.  It was a Friday night, and my husband was out getting our food after dropping off my step-son at his mothers, my son was at a friend’s for the evening.  It was just me and my doggie, Linus.  I turned on some Native American music in our bedroom and strolled naked into the bathroom where I felt I could take a nice long, hot shower all by myself.  There’s a freedom you feel when you have that alone time, and this was no exception.  I was singing and dancing in the shower, taking my time to clean myself, when all of a sudden, I felt a presence with me.  I turned around, and SO HELP ME GOD,  Jesus was standing in the shower with me.

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I wish I was making this up, but this is the stone cold truth.

There was nothing perverted, obviously, but more or less the shock value from my end created a moment of ice-breakage.  He stood there with his arms crossed, not getting a bit wet, and said, “Sister, WHAT are you doing?”  He had on a white robe, with what looked like a violet colored sash.  He looked exactly like I had always pictured Him.

Frightened wasn’t the word.  Stunned?  Even more so.  I told Jesus that I was taking a shower as He could see, thinking even for a second that maybe this was all being made up in my head, questioning in my head if I fell in the shower and blacked out, did I have wine I forgot I was drinking? But this….this was real. He said, “Don’t patronize me, Bridget! You KNOW what I’m talking about.  ANOTHER RELIGION?  Am I really THIS bad that you want to look for more salvation in something else because you can SEE it?” He sounded exasperated, if not annoyed to the core.

AND STILL, I kept thinking this was all being made up in my head.

And then in a loud, booming voice, He said:

“Do you REALLY want to ruin ALL that you have created up there?”

And the most frightening to me, He said,

“Am I really not enough for you?”

I immediately felt a twinge of pain, or maybe it was guilt, because I couldn’t understand what the HELL was going on, but apparently Jesus was legitimately upset with me.  Upon realizing this, He then sighed and said something I’ll never forget:

“I want you to sing a song for me”, He said, “Remember that song you used to sing in choir, called ‘Hosea?’  Sing that for me. I like to think this is ‘OUR’ song.”  (now, in any other circumstance, anytime given the chance to sing in the shower, I’m going to make that sh** happen.)  But at this point I was having a heated conversation with Jesus in the SHOWER and the fear in me rose up, so I started singing quite softly:

 

“Come back to me, with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart.

Trees do bend, though straight and tall, so must we to others call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you, to your heart where I will speak.

Integrity, and justice, with tenderness, you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.”

 

And just like that, 12 years of my life slowly washed away, like a silent tsunami coming in the middle of the night without any warning.

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Everything I was, everything I THOUGHT I was, everything I thought I was going to be, disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I stood in the shower, looking down on my hands as the water was running off of me, and realized I was alone again.  But this was different: I felt a loneliness I never felt before, and not only was it suffocating, it was profoundly heartbreaking.  I started sobbing to the point I was shaking like someone hit me with a cattle prod. I started banging my fists on the wall of the shower so hard, bottles started falling off the shower shelf.  I started screaming “I’m sorry!  I’m SORRY! What have I done?  I’m so sorry!  Please forgive me!!!!”  But Jesus was no longer there.  I was utterly alone.  I fell to my knees in absolute despair and realized what a fool I was. For over a decade I acted like I loved him and knew him, all the while allowing other things to get in the way; it was the most horrible act of defiance and dishonesty I ever did in my entire life.

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And now I was alone.  It was the darkest moment of my life to date.

But then I heard Him.  And I felt this almost heated warmth flow through my body, as if I was encapsulated within something like an incubator.  As I continued to sob on my knees, water still running, I heard Him:

“Shhhhhhh….Bridget Ohhhhhhh sweetheart, I know…..Welcome back!  Welcome back.  It’s alright.  It’s alright.  Just cry it out.  I never left you, no matter how much you wanted me to let you go, I just couldn’t.  And you know what?  You didn’t want to let go either.  It’s why you kept me silently close to you all these years, even when you told others I wasn’t there….shhhhhhh, no more tears.  It’s over.  The pain has been washed away….I made sure of this.  No more tears, Bridget.  Breathe in your new life.”

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How does one recover from something like that?

I decided to delve into that part of me that has been in-fact, reborn.

I started reading the Bible.  I stopped doing earthly rituals that benefited my wants.  I began to walk on the side I promised myself 12 years ago I would never come back to.  I went back to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, where they welcome all creeds.  I opted NOT to go to a Christian church at first, well, mainly because my brain still has a belief that so many of these big-built theater-like churches are all ego-based ministry trying to pull people in for money and numbers.  Don’t get me wrong, let me explain before I get scolded:  I’m not saying they are ALL this way, it’s just how my brain has been perceiving this for so many years, I can’t remember when the thought first entered my mind. Nevertheless, I started watching documentaries on the Bible, on Christianity as a whole, on Jesus’ humanity and divinity.  And continued to go to the UU Fellowship until I realized I needed something more.

Most importantly, I got back to praying.  At least, the kind of praying I used to do years ago, now with a better understanding rather than I was “told” to say it.

I began listening to people like Kat Kerr, who has been given the gift of visions of Heaven.  And I then realized in an instant, that’s where my focus is going to be.

Heaven.

And what I need to do to get there.

I realized over the last several weeks that everything that I want, my garden, my homestead, future animals like chickens and goats, my front porch farm stand….all of it – has been cooking up in my brain and my heart with the absolute faith that one day I’ll get there.  So, why now is this happening?  Why has Jesus decided to make his presence known in the way it was presented?

I took some time to think about everything.  The shower.  Water.  Emotion.  Water is all about emotion.  And whenever I take a shower, I like to think when the water is falling on me, all the crap and muck from the day is being washed away.

So yeah, in a very different but just as intimate way, I was reborn again.

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What does this mean for the earthly spiritual Bridget who loves to talk about angels, mother earth and the seasons?  Well, just hold on a sec.  I’m still here.  I’m still Bridget. I think that if anything, all my beliefs I have, are just that.  I can’t change what I truly believe to be true, as feelings are neither right nor wrong.  I think it has to do with what and more importantly, HOW we use our beliefs that makes up our character.

So, in the last several weeks, I’ve undergone much change.  And it has been an amazing journey.

But you know what? I’m still burning sage, collecting crystals and such.  But now I have a more intimate understanding of my uses for them. But no worries, I’m still the querky eclectic Bridget that will do anything to get people to smile.

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I’m also going to continue celebrating the seasons through the Celtic Wheel of the Year method.  Ancient farmers used this method, it wasn’t just religious symbolism. Many organic farmers today still work with the moon and the seasons of the year based on these ancient traditions, and not modern commercialism.  So, as far as I’m concerned, Winter is over and Spring is here!  It is early Spring, so things are still dead and it’s pretty damn cold outside.  But some of my potted bulbs outside that don’t get hit with the frost are peeking out already.  As far as I’m concerned, the days of Light and Life are coming back.

I know I may lose friends over this revelation, and that’s okay.  Just as people evolve, I am sure relationships go through the same course.

Today my BFF Jenny and her amazing boyfriend Steven, took me to my first Christian service in what has been many years.  Over the last week, I got to speak to my cousin, Jerry, who told me he was overjoyed and filled with so much love and happiness for me for my conversion and is looking forward to talking with me more.

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have met with so much amazing positive manifestations with my personal life in health and career.  I have found myself immersed into personal Bible study and watching videos that seem to be calling me to watch.  Each day I wake up, I ask for Grace, even though I am not worthy of it.  I pray to have a good day and make good decisions.  And each day has been wonderful.  I feel like a child.  I’m learning all over again.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be saved. But I do know, that feeling the presence of Jesus in my life has turned my life around.  Everything that I am is changed.  But, I am still Bridget.  I promise you that.  I am still open minded.  Still an empathic bad-ass.  Still a devout lover of Mother Earth.  I’m just understanding my life a bit differently now. I’m understanding my spirit now.  And most importantly, I’m understanding my heart.

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This website will eventually change on some levels.  My store will come down and hopefully I will be able to change my tax id to my alias name, The Bohemian Hobbit.  The Spiral Willow will be closing.  My tinctures and teas will still be around, and hopefully one day, I will be selling other things more deserving of my journey. If you are interested in buying certain things on my site, I will be posting them on my Facebook page, The Bohemian Hobbit until all is sold out. I will still be writing about Ascension, Homesteading, Permaculture, my love for Hobbits (well, DUH!), and of course, Spirituality.  But in order for me to write from my heart, you will undoubtedly see the change in my writing.  If you no longer feel comfortable with my writings, know I completely understand and you have every right to go.  I will let you go freely with so much love and admiration, you’ll definitely feel it!!!!

As we begin the week for Valentine’s Day, I find it no coincidence that outside my husband and children, I have fallen madly in love with Jesus and becoming a born-again Christian.  Take that as you will, all I know is that I stand here in witness, to tell you, that I have been changed.  I am changed.  What happened to me, was supernatural.  Was intensely beautiful, and like I said, life – CHANGING.

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And I will pray for the rest of my life this change will not only eventually save me, but will help me walk on a path to save and serve others.

I love you,

Bridget

The Bohemian Hobbit

 

 

The Ascension Series: Revisiting An Important Topic…

Several posts ago, I posted about a video that truly changed my life. Truth is, I still can’t stop talking about it. I want the whole world to know what I felt what I saw and heard through this video that was less than 30 minutes long. (If you want to see the video, please hover over my word “video” in the first sentence and click on it- that will take you to that video)

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Why is it, that things in our life go through such unbelievable change, yet we either shy away from it or worse, completely ignore the signs, and instead walk amongst the sheep who choose to live through life with their eyes closed?

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We were born into this world for reasons we have no idea why. Religions tell us because God created us to live a spiritual life in a physical world. Science tells us there is not spiritual world, and that we were made from star dust. And here we are, in 2016, we are STILL arguing how in the world we got here (no pun intended). I remember back in the 1980’s when Pope John Paul II caused an absolute ruckus within the Catholic Church when he offered the idea that maybe God created the Big Bang. Religious Conservatives and Scientific Scholars lost their proverbial minds over this because in their own minds, putting Science and Religion together is simply a no bueno.

Why do unknown things scare us so freaking much? I mean, take for instance something simple. Right now, as I sit typing this out, I am drinking on of my well-known Kratom teas. I came across this amazing Southeast Asian plant back in 2013 and although at first I was skeptical, I found that this plant has helped me come off so many dangerous drugs created by Big Pharma. And still, 3 years later, people around me are fearful that I am taking some “drug”. In the video that I suggested above, the narrator states that Light means “Information” and Darkness means “Lack of Information”. Which of course makes complete sense when you use the phrase of “Being in the dark” about things.   For example (and I apologize if I sound like I’m going off in another direction – I swear it will make sense in the end)…A common human trait when we become comfortable is stagnancy.  It’s why couples tend to gain weight together once they get out of the “honeymoon” phase. It’s why kids become addicted to video games because we as parents try to find some form of peace and quiet and we know that’s how we get it. Patterns become habits and sometimes those patterns are not necessarily good ones. Yet, changing ourselves can sometimes be a tedious and challenging task that can at times prove to be almost impossible. This is usually due to our environment, relationships, careers, health, and a multitude of other facets.  This, in a sense, is living in the dark.

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We can also be in the dark because we are forced to be. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to believe the governments of the world keeps things hidden from the people of this planet. Now, before you get all crazy like by calling me a conspiracy theorist, do your research. You don’t need to follow politics to know we are not told everything. And yet, big corporations like Monsanto and big Banks and the politicians they pay for continue to grow stronger and richer, slowly closing the gap on what was once the Middle Class. Modern Day Physicists have already proved Molecular Time Travel, Dark Matter, Black Holes, as well as a feast of what you would think they would be from some Science Fiction story.

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Whether you care to believe it or not, WE are changing. We are evolving. We are no longer in a 4 Dimensional World. We are currently moving into the 5th Dimension. Many people, in fact, some I personally know, have already moved into this realm. The veil between the living world and the other world has been thinner than ever in our lives. Can’t you feel that energy? It is why more and more people are moving away from organized religion and finding solace in a personal relationship with our Creator without the dogmatic laws of control. It’s why the “new age” philosophies have boomed into our world creating its own market. Why? Because we are humans and we HAVE to evolve. We NEED to evolve. Does it matter how we got here? Does it matter what we did before? Not really. What matters is NOW. Echkert Tolle coined the phrase “Living in the Now” and has a best selling book on it. But truthfully, you don’t need to read a book about living in the now. It’s a very simple concept.

You cannot rewrite the past.

You cannot predict the future.

All you have is now.

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How do you feel about now? I know for a lot of people, you’re not feeling that great. Because the Earth Herself is evolving, we who live with her need to keep up or we’re going to be left behind. You need to remember this very important fact:

Mother Earth CAN and WILL live without us.

However, we CANNOT live without Her.

Get out of the darkness and move into the light.

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Yesterday marked the First Day of Spring. Now, although my belief system has me preparing for Spring as early as February 1st, most people in the Northern Hemisphere celebrate March 20th as the first day of Spring. It makes sense because this is around the time that the crocuses, daffodils and tulips are budding out of hibernation, ready to open up and declare life has come back to us! What a joyous occasion it is! It is the day of the Spring Equinox, the day when the daytime and nighttime are of equal length. People of Persian descent celebrate their New Year with the Feast of Nowruz, and for my astrological peeps, March 20th symbolizes the beginning of the Astrological New Year.

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So, all in all, it is a day of rebirth. And as I stated on a Facebook post on my personal page, it is the reason why Christianity celebrates the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Jesus was actually crucified in November of 33 AD based on historical research and fact (I don’t need anyone quoting scripture to me, the timing of his birth and death means nothing.  It’s the actual events in hand where the importance lies), but it is honored around the week of the Equinox since its original Pagan origins symbolized the rebirth of Springtime. For many that wonder where Eggs, Chickens, Lambs, and Bunny Rabbits seem to be the symbol of Easter? Well, that was because the original holiday, Ostara, was about rebirth, and all the baby animals, including eggs, were apart of this day. In Greek Mythology, Persephone came out of the Underworld back into her Mother Demeter’s arms on the Spring Equinox.  Persephone is the Goddess of Spring, of baby animals, and of rebirth itself.  When Christianity took over Rome, they kept some of the symbols, while burying the rest of the story.

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(Jesus loves ALL of us, don’t let anyone tell you different)

See? Now, does it matter? No. Of course not. Why? Because no matter how you slice it, we are ALL connected. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

Okay, well, thanks for the history lesson, Bridget, but what does this have to do with Ascension, you ask?

Everything. Because in order for us to truly, TRULY understand how Mother Earth evolves, we too, must evolve. Ascend to new dimensions to further align our physical bodies with our spiritual ones.

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It is heartbreaking for me to see people so blinded by pride and ego. Anything that is said outside their own understanding is cause for worry, resentment, or downright anger for thinking outside the box. People are irritated because they are dealing with someone who “just can’t be normal like the rest of us”, or “why do you have to act like a hippy or gypsy or whatever you call it, why can’t you just act normal?”  This week I read an article where a Christian woman was fasting for 15 days for her love of Jesus.  On the 15th Day, she because delirious and was sent to the hospital, where her bloodwork came with all low amounts of everything.  She told the hospital she was fasting.  She took her bible out and prayed.  The doctor made the assumption she was unstable, and had her involuntarily committed for 5 days where she was forced Psychotropic medicines!!!  I mean, seriously!  How cruel is that???  She was of sound mind after she was given saline to hydrate her, and yet the hospital staff and doctor even went as far as to try to get the court to allow them to lock her up in a mental institution!  For praying!  (As of right now, this woman is currently suing the hospital, doctor and staff for unlawful imprisonment).  Link to the article is below:

http://www.naturalnews.com/044306_hospital_imprisonment_mental_illness_spiritual_author.html

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People judge you fas being abnormal, crazy and the like, just for being spiritual.  This is life right now for many people.  Sadly, this type of conversation is usually part of my life at least once a week. In the beginning, I would fight back, and put people in their place. It did nothing but put me right where they wanted. It was so difficult to pull away and turn the other cheek, breathe out the bad moments and pray they lessen as the days pass. Because one of two things are going to happen: The person(s) will simply walk away from you never to speak to you again, or they will simply accept you. Don’t ever expect the nagging to go away. It won’t. People with bruised egos will do anything to make their point. And that’s okay for you, remember that.  Allow them to do what they have to do. That does not mean you need to engage in the warfare, though. And that is simply what that is. You can choose to fight, or you can choose to love.

Always choose to love.

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And yes, this is a very reasonable thing to ask. Just because the thought of a Utopian Society is pretty much something that may never happen in our lifetime, doesn’t mean each person shouldn’t strive to make their life utopian. This is the one thing that drives me batty! Just because we live in a crappy world with lots of greedy, angry and hurtful souls who are just simply blinded by the truth, doesn’t mean those who can see should act blindly as well for the sake of feeling justified!

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Ascension is about moving up. Taking the high road. Seeing the big, overall picture. That’s all Ascension is.

And in that video, whether the beings are real or not, the message is abundantly clear: OPEN YOUR EYES. See the truth of the world but more importantly…LIVE YOUR TRUTH.

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Lessons in Forgiveness and Closing Chapters…

forgive1Today was a major lesson in strength and forgiveness.

Each one of us are given lessons, sometimes extremely difficult and impossibly humbling.  We can choose to accept these lessons by admitting our faults and discretions, while HOPEFULLY the consequences of our actions, whether they happened yesterday or 30 years ago, will only help us grow stronger in love, grace and overall, humility.  These last few years have proven just that.  And even in the midst of absolute despair, when the pain just becomes TOO much that some would rather roll over and blind themselves from the pain with alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, food, or whatever vice you need to mask that despair, I have chosen a different path.

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I choose forgiveness.

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See, what other people think of me is really none of my business.  And honestly? That’s a very hard thing for me to accept.  My ego has been bruised so much in the last 4 years I can’t even really begin to describe it.  In the last few years alone, I have been humbled more times than I can ever count, and am constantly reminded of things that I NOW know, were not of the understanding my actions were going to be detrimental in the years ahead.  See, when people go through a traumatic experience, it becomes acutely apparent that people “block” memories to avoid the pain.  I suffer from PTSD because of this.  Looking back at the years when my life was so troubled, I can understand how I had tried, sometimes embarrassingly, to get people to “like” me.  And when you utilize that desperation technique, it’s easy for others to see right through you. 4 years ago, those memories came back, and since that horrifying moment of regression, I have done everything I can to make amends of my past and who I hurt, even though I was a victim as well.  Well, today showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt, that trait no longer caters to my life.  The strands of victimhood no longer apply and I am voluntarily choosing to cut those strands from my life.

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If you know who you are, and know that deep down you are a good person, despite faults you made in the past, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and people who come and go in your life choose to hate you, despise you, belittle you, or whatever it is that they do to make you question your own self-worth, well then, my dears, the moment you put that apology out there is the moment you are finally free to let go.  If people choose to not accept your apology, or even worse, accept it, only to turn around and take it back, you need to remind yourself that it no longer applies to you.  It applies to them.  And then everything going forward becomes THEIR issues, and you can walk away with peace in your mind and in your heart.

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Today was a hard day.

Quite frankly, I’m heartbroken.  But that heartbreak will heal.  I will mend.  And the scars on my heart will provide stronger tissue that will make it harder to hurt me. I forgive those who choose hate over love.  Who choose anger over forgiveness.  Remember: How people treat you is a reflection of THEM, not you.  Something my husband and my Mom continue to drive into my head day after day.

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And with that, I am choosing to close a very, very sad chapter in my life, and moving on.  Because I deserve it.  And the people that know who I am, TRULY know who I am, deserve it.

In the end, I choose love.  I choose forgiveness.

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And I forgive you, for everything you have done to me.  May you be happy in the life you have chosen, and I wish you nothing but happiness in your heart, and peace in your soul.

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The Demon Within…

One of the biggest things I deal with during this particular time of the year is the big D.  Most people know what I speak of, and I’m sure many of you are sitting on the other side of your computer nodding in complete and utter understanding.

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Depression, as many know, is when a chemical imbalance in our brains result in a disruption of some-sort, creating a sort of chaos in our bodies that causes hopelessness. Most times, depression is the result of a tragedy a person experiences, whether it be a death, break-up, or any of loss of “something”….Sometimes, in my case, it could be just a simple explanation of the weather 5 feet from me.  It is one of my biggest struggles I face with in life, and every year I pray and pray that somewhere, somehow, this feeling of sadness would end.

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So, let’s talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)….

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It goes without saying that everyone, both of human and animal alike, NEED sunlight.  The vitamins coming from the sun gives off so much energy and a pulse of life itself, there is no wonder why people love to “Sun bathe”.  Sadly, for me, I’m a Celt by blood.  A mixture of Irish, English, Scottish, and German.  So, putting my pasty self outside for more than a few moments will cause my skin to scream.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t love to be out in the sun.  It’s why I am a morning person, so to speak…(I say that because during the Monday-Friday deal, I’m not really worth talking to in the morning, but that’s a whole other story LOL)

In the Northern Hemisphere, at the time of Litha, otherwise known as Midsummer or the Summer Solstice, the Sun is at his prime, beaming down with such veracity, it even finds the shadiest of places.  But sadly, after that prime day of days, the Sun begins its fall.  And within 6 months, the Sun, although still shining, does not have the luster and awe that we had just a few months before.  For many people, this time is the beginning of Winter.  And we start our slow climb back to the manifestation of the gifts the Sun gives us in the Spring and Summer.

So, during the time after the holiday and New Year season ends, there is a period of silence.  Nothing really happens until the next little break, which is Valentine’s Day.  And then, after that, is the Spring Equinox, Ostara, or as many know it to be, Easter.

What do we do during this period?  Well, for me, I kind of go crazy and start cleaning and regrouping my life, creating goals for the warmer weather to come, all while taking care of my mind, body and soul, who is sadly ill-at-ease over the lack of warm sunlight, growth and overall life.

It’s why I love living myself according to the Celtic Seasonal Calendar.  It makes sense for me, because I always was like a month early to prepare for each season/holiday.  In just a few weeks, MY Winter will be over.  On February 1st, I celebrate the feast day of St. Bridget, who holds the keys of the kingdom for my favorite Season: Spring.

February 1st in the Celtic Calendar is the Season of Imbolc (Pronounced IMM-OLCK).  It is the beginning of the Springtime, the time where our Mother Earth is stirring and beginning her slow process of “waking up”.  Just as we, each morning, open our eyes, stretch our arms and legs, and get reacquainted with the morning and the light, so does Mother Earth.  The soil, through its Winter hibernation, begins to warm up, allowing the seeds within the soil to take heed and blossom.  One of the greatest gifts we can get in the Early Springtime are Crocuses.  They are Mother Nature’s quiet little trumpets, usually peeking up within the snow and cold ground, alerting us all that warm weather IS coming back.  That is the beauty of this planet.  Of where I live.  We know Spring follows Winter.  It’s how life is.

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So, what do I do in the meantime?  Even as I type this out, on this lazy Sunday morning, I feel sad.  Sad because going outside would require me to bundle up because the air is SO cold, it would actually hurt my skin.  Make my eyes water.  Even the “smell” of life, is not there.

What makes me gaga over being outside?  Feeling the grass beneath my bare feet.  Smelling the seasonal flowers breezing through the air.  Seeing the magnificent trees, shrubs and bushes blossom with beautiful green leaves…In the Celtic myths, Autumn and Winter meant Jack Frost was out and about, dropping hints of frost and ice among everything alive, telling them it’s time to die or go to sleep….In the Spring and Summer Months, Jack in the Green is our go-to guy.  He is the one who warms the skies and the Earth, and instead of frost, we have beautiful droppings of dew.

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(one of MANY Jack in the Green Parades held every year in Europe)

This is what makes my pulse quicken, my heart smile and my soul beam.  Warmth, light….like Persephone feeling so out of touch down in the Underworld, where she could not use her Gift with the Living World, and patiently waited until it was time for her to go back up, and be among the Living again, to feel the warmth of the Sun on her skin…Yes, I feel the exact same way.

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Since going off all Depression and Anxiety medicine, and opting for my Kratom intake, I can honestly say it hasn’t been TOO smooth sailing.  Of course it would be easy for me to put some chemicals into my body and numb myself…but it would be a disservice to me to do so.  I know not everyone agrees with me on that.  I always welcome other’s opinions and ideas…it’s just…it’s not for me.  I’ve been very careful over the last several years to deal with my addiction to pain killers…and for someone like me who is always in some kind of pain, it’s an easy excuse for me to pop a pill and call it a day.

No, as much as times like these where I wish I had something to numb my physical and emotional pain of the Winter, I know that in the end, it helps me SEE who I really am, because I am completely bare and open to the senses entirely.  I feel things now more than I ever have.  So, yes, the depression sucks.  But I also know, that there are times I feel such immense joy, that knowing I wouldn’t even feel an inch of that when trying to control my depression with medicine, gives me the honest knowing that I’m doing the right thing.

Don’t get me wrong:  I think about taking something every day.  Even right now, I feel incredibly blue (Get it?  Winter “blues”?) and staring at the walls may be what I need right now to numb the sadness of the lack of life outside….

This depression began in 2001.  And slowly progressed as the years went on…Now that I am in the beginning stages of my body slowing down and turning into the Crone, I feel this even more.

How do I deal with it?  It’s a demon inside of me I deal with every day between Thanksgiving and about Mid-March.  For some people it’s less time, and for others, it’s more.  It feels like the Postpartum depression I had for the first 4 weeks after my son’s birth.  It begins as a nagging feeling, that turns into a feeling of dread.  Dread?  Yup, dread.  It overtakes me like a demon overtakes a human…I cry at everything and anything, I sleep more, I stare more, and I tend to lash out more.  My husband, sons, parents, sisters and closest friends know it the depression talking.  The know this silly little hobbit doesn’t usually act like this, and know how to approach me during my times of struggle.  They know and respect the fact I don’t want chemicals in my body.  They are patient and kind, and allow me the time and patience I need for myself to understand how my body reacts to this rough season.

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(seriously, whoever created these are a GENIUS)

Kratom certainly helps, but, it is just a band aid.  It does NOT take away the full feelings.  But it does lessen the load.  And the best part?  It does not numb me.  If there could be anything that I hate, it is the numbness of my body, mind and soul.  To lose the essence of your life just because there’s a period of time each year where I feel sad, it’s just not enough for me to make that kind of decision.  That’s not for me to judge anyone who DOES.

So, for the next few weeks, I will be quietly tinkering away at my new home.  Putting things in their place, and dealing with the sadness I not only feel for the cold months, but for other things I cannot control.  It’s a continued lesson in humility, and I love that I’m always up for the challenge, no matter how tired and sad I’m feeling at the moment.

What makes me happy during the colder months?

  • Music – Usually Celtic/Irish/Scottish music, 80’s Pop, and some Sacred World music, from either Lisa Thiel, Snatnam Kaur, or Spiral Dance
  • Painting – I am still trying to find my easle, but the moment I do, I’m off!
  • Festivals – There is an amazing Scottish and Irish Festival that happens in February, and it truly lifts up my spirits EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
  • Garden Planning – For the first time since 2007, I will have my own garden again.  Planning it has definitely helped tremendously during this time.
  • Snuggles – My boys know all these need to do is snuggle up to me, it will bring a big smile.  I love my family.
  • Cleaning – I tend to light A LOT of incense that smells of lavender, jasmine, and other springy smells…as well as light lots of candles…and the smell of Pine Sol?  OMG Don’t go there with me…it’s like heaven haha!
  • Ritual – if there is anything I love to do, is to be in ritual with myself.  That time you give to yourself, whether it is meditating, chanting, praying, or even something simple like taking a nice, warm bath…yes, it helps a great deal.

I know there are probably more, but these are the big ones.  Tell me about what you do!  I am always looking for suggestions.

Lots of Hobbit Love,

Bridget

 

Happy New Year and Where I’ve Been…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Okay. So check this out:

Over the course of the last month and the last time I posted something here (yes, you read it, MONTH), I have typed out about 6 blogs. SIX. Not one of them have been posted to my site.

Um, hello? Knock knock? Bridget? Whatcha doing over there?

Yeah. I know. I have been stagnant like 30 day old untreated pool water. Yuck.

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(me pretty much everyday)

What gives? It’s a good question. I appreciate the emails from some of my readers asking me where I was, if I was okay….etc. etc…I could easily tell you I’m fine…life is swell.

Truth is…it’s not. And that’s OKAY!

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(yes, I have been incredibly anti-social lately)

I wish I could be Miss Happy Girl 24/7, and don’t get me wrong, I really DO everything I can to achieve that on a daily basis.

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But, something’s up. And I know what it is. Right now, I’m going to keep it to myself until I feel it is the right time to throw it out for discussion.

There is nothing…and I really mean this…NOTHING, more heartbreaking than having a certain dream of something and knowing full well it is NEVER going to come true. In regards to my life, this goes in two different directions, but with similar things related to the main idea. It sucks. Truly. But having this knowledge does give me a sense of power, because at least I know, I can work around it. Or better yet, FIX IT.

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Over the course of this last month, though, I have been going through the natural stages of grief.  This came with some humbling knowledge that things I thought in my head were a certain way, were in fact, very much the opposite.

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Truth is, the goals I had 10 years ago are nowhere NEAR the goals I have today.  Heck, the goals I had 1 year ago no longer serve me as goal-worthy.  Not because I can’t achieve it; truth be told, you can achieve anything if you set your heart out to it…no, it’s because I no longer care, support,  nor want to be a part of that anymore.

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Kinda of like when you were a kid, and had a certain way of handling your things, or even just living your life, and then one day, you realize you’re no longer a kid, and that your desires are more “grown-up” and the kid-stuff no longer applies to you.

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Here’s the thing:  You don’t have to be going through puberty to understand this philosophy.

As humans, we naturally evolve based on our habitat, culture, and generation we are applied to.  Just as fads and trends change with each passing decade, so do your thoughts, feelings, and ideaology as well.  It’s what makes us such amazing beings.

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Last year, in fact, sometime around this part of the day on December 31st, I sat down in my little apartment and wrote out a piece of paper that had the following things:

GOALS FOR 2015

Continue down the path of authenticity

Write more

Get married

Buy a new house

The good news is, I achieved each one of these very goals.  YAY ME!

The bad news is, I’ve got a LONG way to go….

So, in order to really really achieve my authentic self, my blogging, my marriage, and my new home, I have to make a change.

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I know what this change is.  I feel it so strongly that I opened up to my parents, my husband, one of my Uncles and my best friend. Yeah, I don’t screw around…when making big changes, you don’t want those you are close to to be completely thrown off course.  Believe it or not, even if no one else has a right to dictate how you live, it is always a courtesey to make sure they at least KNOW what you are planning.  The shock value has all but disappeared, therefore creating less drama in your life.

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So, in light of my last blog and the things I’ve experienced the last few months, I’ve decided I’m making only ONE goal this year.  But oh boy, it’s a big one.  Look, I don’t like being a tease, and my readers know that one of the best forms of authenticity is it be as transparent as you can be.  Right now, I have a lot of things I need to think about.  My decisions I make at my age are never made in haste and are NEVER taken lightly.  But the thing is, the result of this goal is going to help continue to achieve the happiness and well-being of all the other goals I’ve ever set on.

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Truly, just writing this all out makes my decisions more real, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to chicken out on making my dreams come true.

No matter how crazy or unbelievable they are.

The last few decisions I made for myself that had the same desire surge from within me was knowing I wanted to marry my husband, buy a house, and walk away from certain people that no longer serve me.  Each one of those things has brought me nothing but blissful peace.

I can do this.  Hell yeah.  I’m so gonna do this!

Much Bohemian Love,

Bridget

Creating a Sacred Space…

 So, although this could be part of the Ascension Series, I’m going to make this a more universal post about this particular subject.

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What is a Sacred Space? Well, a sacred space is a place where you can go and get away from the world you live in, and quiet your mind, body and soul. This could be anywhere in or around your house, at your office, in your car, anywhere you can be where you can just be you and no one can bother you. Now, I would not suggest your car or office, as you want to be in a place of absolute peace, and I think many of us can agree the office or a car isn’t always very peaceful!

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(Photo Credit to Rabbit Moon Tarot )

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Some religious folk get nervous when you speak of sacred spaces because it possibly gives way to the possibility of idolatry outside of the worship of a person’s one true God. Well, the truth is, they are correct when it stands in their own personal belief. But, in the end, it is not for me to judge you or anyone else in this world as to what you should put in your sacred space. I know many Pagans, Witches, Wiccans, Buddhists, Hindus, and even Christians that have these special places they can go to quiet themselves down. Stop worrying about what society expects from you and focus on what makes you closer to your spirituality. You are doing this to honor YOU as being part of the vast Creation that is one with our Creator.  How you view that is your own personal opinion and NO ONE has a right to tell you if you are right or wrong!  As I have stated many times before, your relationship with God, however you view God (1 person, 3 person, several Dieties, a figmant of Light, the Christ Consciousness), is between YOU and GOD.

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There is nothing scary or freaky to have an altar in your home. Altar’s are not saved for Christianity alone; Hindu’s, Buddhist’s and Pagan individuals out there and the like also utilize altars and sacred spaces in their home.

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So, what makes up a Sacred Space? Below are some great ideas you can use to create one especially designed for you:

1. Special table or shelf that will be used as your sacred space ONLY

2. A nice tablecloth or runner

3. Statues, Crosses, symbols of your guides

4. Candles

5. Crystals

6. Incense

7. Holy Water

8. Chalices

9. Foods like berries and nuts

10. Outside nature elements (twigs, leaves, stones, flowers)

11. Pictures of the spiritual beings you connect to (iconography)

12. Prayer beads (rosaries, malas, etc)

13. Ritual tools (Athame, Healing wands, Prayer Feathers, Tarot or Oracle Decks, Tibetan Singing Bowls, Bells, Chimes, etc…)

14. Dream catchers

15. Specific items related to the guide you are connected to

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Now, these are but a few of the things I know people have used for their sacred spaces. If you decide you want to make an entire room a sacred space, then you have more luxuries in what you can put in there (furniture, pillows, tapestries, etc)…

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(My Personal Sacred Space in our Bedroom)

The best part about this is that there are NO rules when setting up your sacred space. Why? Because it is YOURS and yours alone! No one has a right to tell you how to decorate your home, or tell you how to dress, so why would you allow someone the right to tell you how to commune with your God? Below are a few of the Sacred Spaces I have in my home….(I am looking forward to finding my new Sacred Spaces next month when we are in our new place)…

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(Our family’s Sacred Space)

So, in all, creating a place in your home or outside or wherever you can go to communicate with your Creator, is a great tool in bringing yourself back to Spirit, and aligning yourself with your soul, giving you a much needed rest and respite from the days of being, well, human. Because being a human is NOT easy. And especially with everything going on right now, anything that will put my body, mind and spirit at peace is the way to go!

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(More of my personal indoor/outdoor Sacred Spaces)