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Taking that Other Path in the Fork Of the Road…

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One of my favorite sayings I like to say when I feel I need to have a heart to heart with someone – I like to call it a “Come to Jesus” talk.  Sometimes the most amazing and profound events in our lives tend to be also hilariously ironic.  This is precisely the case over the last couple months.

I’m going to tell you something that I didn’t think I would EVER utter to anyone.  This includes my husband, my sons, my parents, my sisters, my family and devoted friends.  I don’t necessarily know why I need to bear witness to this, but I do believe it’s time for me to speak out.  Since November 18, 2016, I’ve been quietly obsessing over it, because of how much it changed me.  And mark my word: I am changed.  Incidentally, my son Tim told me last night, “Mom, I don’t know about you, but there is something really DIFFERENT about you that I’ve noticed the last several weeks.”

At this point, only a collective few, including my husband and son, know what happened.

I’ve been on an incredible journey, and I guess now, it’s okay to talk about it.

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First things first: I was born with the addiction gene in my DNA.  And this gene has taken front and center throughout my life. Food, prescription drugs, relationships, spirituality, you name it, if my heart felt a flutter, I took it for all it was.  Kind of like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Right now, my latest addiction seems to be on something I have taken for granted for many many years.

I am finding it very challenging to really put into words what I want to say. But trust me on this:  This will probably be a long post, because I believe once I get talking, it’s hard to stop.

Most of the time my head tends to be in the clouds, thinking and dreaming of things that I want, not just for myself, but everyone I love.  However, something needs to be said, when your life has been on this particular journey and living this particular belief, when all of a sudden it comes to an abrupt stop for no reason.  And like the flip of a switch, everything that I believed in, held and cherished for so many years, started to dissipate.

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Going back:  The moment I first felt a twinge in my spirituality was when I was a semi-practicing Catholic.  This spiritual “awakening”, so-to-speak, occurred in the early months of 2004.  4 years later, in 2008, I was beginning my life without my soon-to-be ex-husband and found myself delving into another type of spirituality, which many called Paganism. It was something darker than what I had been used to, and yet it fascinated me to my core nonetheless.  Honestly?  I fell in love with Paganism.  Not just because of the rituals or clothing or music, but because I felt I could hold MYSELF accountable for things, rather than feel like some heavenly parental figure is up in the skies waiting for me.  For 4 years, I laid low, while continuing to practice as a Catholic, while secretly delving deep into practicing Paganism.  But I still loved Jesus.  That never swayed.  I truly believed in the heart of my hearts that my love for Jesus actually grew from my studies, and found I started calling myself a Christo-Pagan. (There is such a religion that exists).

In 2012, I finally made the decision to leave the Catholic Church, and be open about loving my Earth Spirituality.  In essence, I called it that because Paganism has a societal stigma that causes people to believe that all who practice it are devil-worshiping, animal sacrificing, followers of Satan.  I need to tell you all this – Paganism is NOT devil worshiping.  Pagans actually don’t believe in the devil.  It angered me so much, that I wanted to prove to the world my spirituality was if anything, stronger than when I was a practicing Catholic.  I joined a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, then became a leader in the community guiding and teaching like-minded individuals who saw and felt the same as I. I finally thought I was home in my faith.  Being able to love God, Jesus and Mary and the Saints and Angels, all while dedicating myself to Mother Earth by committing myself to the fundamentals of holding rituals honoring not just them, but all the deities that all the cultures in the world were made up of.  I felt I was co-existing with Mother Earth herself and I was a handmaiden to her services.  As the years passed, I realized Jesus, Mary, the Saints and the Angels started to take a back burner to other deities whom I wanted to learn and study.  I’ll be honest.  I tried.  I really did.  But it never felt the same.  Literally, I would thank a deity for something they gave me, but if I found myself in trouble, I called on Jesus.  I knew it, and yet continued to block my mind of the hypocrisy I was finding myself in.  Deep in.  How dangerous it was for me to think just because another religion doesn’t believe in something like the devil, didn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

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How funny it was, then, when Jesus decided to take a stand for His cause, and call me back to the land of His living, and in the WEIRDEST place possible.

Jesus has an incredible sense of humor, I’ll tell ya.

In the Autumn of 2016 (funny, 4 years from the last opened door), I started studying Hinduism.  I was listening to a lot of Hindi music, while trying to practice some of the festival rituals that are held usually on the other side of the world.  I even wrote a blog about it here!!!!!

But if you are a subscriber or devoted follower to my website, you know that this was my last blog.  November 6, 2016.  Exactly TWO weeks later, I fell off the proverbial ledge and went underground, like Persephone in the old Greek tales.  For those two weeks, I lingered down there, because something was troubling me.  I felt a weight on my shoulders and my chest was so heavy I couldn’t explain, let alone breathe.  And then it happened.

November 18, 2016.  I took a shower.

I know, that was anti-climatic.  I just wanted you all to take a deep breath, cause we’re about to go down that rabbit hole.

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Okay, so…Here’s where it gets weird:

It started out as nothing special.  It was a Friday night, and my husband was out getting our food after dropping off my step-son at his mothers, my son was at a friend’s for the evening.  It was just me and my doggie, Linus.  I turned on some Native American music in our bedroom and strolled naked into the bathroom where I felt I could take a nice long, hot shower all by myself.  There’s a freedom you feel when you have that alone time, and this was no exception.  I was singing and dancing in the shower, taking my time to clean myself, when all of a sudden, I felt a presence with me.  I turned around, and SO HELP ME GOD,  Jesus was standing in the shower with me.

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I wish I was making this up, but this is the stone cold truth.

There was nothing perverted, obviously, but more or less the shock value from my end created a moment of ice-breakage.  He stood there with his arms crossed, not getting a bit wet, and said, “Sister, WHAT are you doing?”  He had on a white robe, with what looked like a violet colored sash.  He looked exactly like I had always pictured Him.

Frightened wasn’t the word.  Stunned?  Even more so.  I told Jesus that I was taking a shower as He could see, thinking even for a second that maybe this was all being made up in my head, questioning in my head if I fell in the shower and blacked out, did I have wine I forgot I was drinking? But this….this was real. He said, “Don’t patronize me, Bridget! You KNOW what I’m talking about.  ANOTHER RELIGION?  Am I really THIS bad that you want to look for more salvation in something else because you can SEE it?” He sounded exasperated, if not annoyed to the core.

AND STILL, I kept thinking this was all being made up in my head.

And then in a loud, booming voice, He said:

“Do you REALLY want to ruin ALL that you have created up there?”

And the most frightening to me, He said,

“Am I really not enough for you?”

I immediately felt a twinge of pain, or maybe it was guilt, because I couldn’t understand what the HELL was going on, but apparently Jesus was legitimately upset with me.  Upon realizing this, He then sighed and said something I’ll never forget:

“I want you to sing a song for me”, He said, “Remember that song you used to sing in choir, called ‘Hosea?’  Sing that for me. I like to think this is ‘OUR’ song.”  (now, in any other circumstance, anytime given the chance to sing in the shower, I’m going to make that sh** happen.)  But at this point I was having a heated conversation with Jesus in the SHOWER and the fear in me rose up, so I started singing quite softly:

 

“Come back to me, with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart.

Trees do bend, though straight and tall, so must we to others call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you, to your heart where I will speak.

Integrity, and justice, with tenderness, you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.”

 

And just like that, 12 years of my life slowly washed away, like a silent tsunami coming in the middle of the night without any warning.

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Everything I was, everything I THOUGHT I was, everything I thought I was going to be, disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I stood in the shower, looking down on my hands as the water was running off of me, and realized I was alone again.  But this was different: I felt a loneliness I never felt before, and not only was it suffocating, it was profoundly heartbreaking.  I started sobbing to the point I was shaking like someone hit me with a cattle prod. I started banging my fists on the wall of the shower so hard, bottles started falling off the shower shelf.  I started screaming “I’m sorry!  I’m SORRY! What have I done?  I’m so sorry!  Please forgive me!!!!”  But Jesus was no longer there.  I was utterly alone.  I fell to my knees in absolute despair and realized what a fool I was. For over a decade I acted like I loved him and knew him, all the while allowing other things to get in the way; it was the most horrible act of defiance and dishonesty I ever did in my entire life.

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And now I was alone.  It was the darkest moment of my life to date.

But then I heard Him.  And I felt this almost heated warmth flow through my body, as if I was encapsulated within something like an incubator.  As I continued to sob on my knees, water still running, I heard Him:

“Shhhhhhh….Bridget Ohhhhhhh sweetheart, I know…..Welcome back!  Welcome back.  It’s alright.  It’s alright.  Just cry it out.  I never left you, no matter how much you wanted me to let you go, I just couldn’t.  And you know what?  You didn’t want to let go either.  It’s why you kept me silently close to you all these years, even when you told others I wasn’t there….shhhhhhh, no more tears.  It’s over.  The pain has been washed away….I made sure of this.  No more tears, Bridget.  Breathe in your new life.”

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How does one recover from something like that?

I decided to delve into that part of me that has been in-fact, reborn.

I started reading the Bible.  I stopped doing earthly rituals that benefited my wants.  I began to walk on the side I promised myself 12 years ago I would never come back to.  I went back to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, where they welcome all creeds.  I opted NOT to go to a Christian church at first, well, mainly because my brain still has a belief that so many of these big-built theater-like churches are all ego-based ministry trying to pull people in for money and numbers.  Don’t get me wrong, let me explain before I get scolded:  I’m not saying they are ALL this way, it’s just how my brain has been perceiving this for so many years, I can’t remember when the thought first entered my mind. Nevertheless, I started watching documentaries on the Bible, on Christianity as a whole, on Jesus’ humanity and divinity.  And continued to go to the UU Fellowship until I realized I needed something more.

Most importantly, I got back to praying.  At least, the kind of praying I used to do years ago, now with a better understanding rather than I was “told” to say it.

I began listening to people like Kat Kerr, who has been given the gift of visions of Heaven.  And I then realized in an instant, that’s where my focus is going to be.

Heaven.

And what I need to do to get there.

I realized over the last several weeks that everything that I want, my garden, my homestead, future animals like chickens and goats, my front porch farm stand….all of it – has been cooking up in my brain and my heart with the absolute faith that one day I’ll get there.  So, why now is this happening?  Why has Jesus decided to make his presence known in the way it was presented?

I took some time to think about everything.  The shower.  Water.  Emotion.  Water is all about emotion.  And whenever I take a shower, I like to think when the water is falling on me, all the crap and muck from the day is being washed away.

So yeah, in a very different but just as intimate way, I was reborn again.

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What does this mean for the earthly spiritual Bridget who loves to talk about angels, mother earth and the seasons?  Well, just hold on a sec.  I’m still here.  I’m still Bridget. I think that if anything, all my beliefs I have, are just that.  I can’t change what I truly believe to be true, as feelings are neither right nor wrong.  I think it has to do with what and more importantly, HOW we use our beliefs that makes up our character.

So, in the last several weeks, I’ve undergone much change.  And it has been an amazing journey.

But you know what? I’m still burning sage, collecting crystals and such.  But now I have a more intimate understanding of my uses for them. But no worries, I’m still the querky eclectic Bridget that will do anything to get people to smile.

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I’m also going to continue celebrating the seasons through the Celtic Wheel of the Year method.  Ancient farmers used this method, it wasn’t just religious symbolism. Many organic farmers today still work with the moon and the seasons of the year based on these ancient traditions, and not modern commercialism.  So, as far as I’m concerned, Winter is over and Spring is here!  It is early Spring, so things are still dead and it’s pretty damn cold outside.  But some of my potted bulbs outside that don’t get hit with the frost are peeking out already.  As far as I’m concerned, the days of Light and Life are coming back.

I know I may lose friends over this revelation, and that’s okay.  Just as people evolve, I am sure relationships go through the same course.

Today my BFF Jenny and her amazing boyfriend Steven, took me to my first Christian service in what has been many years.  Over the last week, I got to speak to my cousin, Jerry, who told me he was overjoyed and filled with so much love and happiness for me for my conversion and is looking forward to talking with me more.

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have met with so much amazing positive manifestations with my personal life in health and career.  I have found myself immersed into personal Bible study and watching videos that seem to be calling me to watch.  Each day I wake up, I ask for Grace, even though I am not worthy of it.  I pray to have a good day and make good decisions.  And each day has been wonderful.  I feel like a child.  I’m learning all over again.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be saved. But I do know, that feeling the presence of Jesus in my life has turned my life around.  Everything that I am is changed.  But, I am still Bridget.  I promise you that.  I am still open minded.  Still an empathic bad-ass.  Still a devout lover of Mother Earth.  I’m just understanding my life a bit differently now. I’m understanding my spirit now.  And most importantly, I’m understanding my heart.

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This website will eventually change on some levels.  My store will come down and hopefully I will be able to change my tax id to my alias name, The Bohemian Hobbit.  The Spiral Willow will be closing.  My tinctures and teas will still be around, and hopefully one day, I will be selling other things more deserving of my journey. If you are interested in buying certain things on my site, I will be posting them on my Facebook page, The Bohemian Hobbit until all is sold out. I will still be writing about Ascension, Homesteading, Permaculture, my love for Hobbits (well, DUH!), and of course, Spirituality.  But in order for me to write from my heart, you will undoubtedly see the change in my writing.  If you no longer feel comfortable with my writings, know I completely understand and you have every right to go.  I will let you go freely with so much love and admiration, you’ll definitely feel it!!!!

As we begin the week for Valentine’s Day, I find it no coincidence that outside my husband and children, I have fallen madly in love with Jesus and becoming a born-again Christian.  Take that as you will, all I know is that I stand here in witness, to tell you, that I have been changed.  I am changed.  What happened to me, was supernatural.  Was intensely beautiful, and like I said, life – CHANGING.

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And I will pray for the rest of my life this change will not only eventually save me, but will help me walk on a path to save and serve others.

I love you,

Bridget

The Bohemian Hobbit

 

 

Upcoming Novel…

I have a story.  There’s no reason for it, only a collaboration of many dreams, visions and ideas that have come into my life over the course of the last ten years.  As I sit here listening to Book of Days by Enya, my belly begins to stir, as if I need to DO something.

Well, right now, all I can think of is that I need to WRITE.  

A few years ago, I began a novel.  It’s nowhere finished.  I’m only about 42,000 words into it, so I’m just a little over 1/3 done.  The story alone is beautiful, but it’s missing something.  It’s one of the reasons why I haven’t moved forward on it.  Last year I may have worked on it 3-5 times.  Towards the end of the year I did work on it before and after work for a total of 6 hours, but quite honestly, I’m not making the dent I was hoping for.

But right now I have these visions and dreams that NEED and will be a part of my story.  Yet, right now, I feel like I want to give you a glimpse of my story. Like a section off a section of the story itself.  

My visions:

Have you ever had the feeling of euphoric bliss?  You know that feeling that comes with such ecstacy you are almost certain it isn’t real.  It is almost as if you are having an out of body experience.  The feeling begins in the solar plexus of your body, that shoots downward, upward and outward in fissions of pure delight and joy.  Sometimes we even see “speckles of stars” from our peripheral vision, let alone an absolute feeling of such deep emotion it can bring you to tears.

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And how deeply sad that we, as humans, rarely have that opportunity to feel what our souls only know?

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When we transferred into the physical body during the contract negotiations of the life we were going into, one of the very things we give up is the constant state of euphoria.  When you are behind the veil, that very veil that the human race has sadly been kept on the other side of, you only know of your ego’s needs and desires.  At times of desperation, we turn to things that will give us temporary states of bliss.  Be that in foods, relationship, drugs, alcohol, medicines, etc…they are all ego sanctioned properties that the soul does not experience, because it is the HUMAN aspect of this life that gives us this opportunity to be a part of.  

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The soul, as we know, is pure.  Our soul is the essence of the being.  So in order for that being to understand the physical matters of the world, the soul creates a contract that lists the lessons the soul is willing to endure in order to ascend into higher levels of consciousness, leading us closer to our Prime Creator.

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There is no ONE Heaven.  In fact, there are many.  So many, in fact, it is not even worth to count, because there are just too many for our Heavens are as vast as the Universe itself.  And just think:  Our galaxy is one of 100 billion stars.  And outside of our galaxy, scientists counted 100 billion galaxies.  A person would have to be supremely arrogant to think we are the only beings living.  Can you ONLY imagine all the other beings out there, let alone galaxies and Heavens?  We look at our one little planet…Earth.  How glorious she is.  How beautiful.  When we think of Heaven, many people who believe in certain religious dream of a big city where people who are good go to.  And that people who are bad, go to Hell.

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My dears, I wish it was only that simple.

I do not believe in Hell.  Well, at least the Hell that is described in modern day.  We are beautiful beings of light that our Creator made in the image of themselves.  No one can ever get me to agree that there is a place that this loving and compassionate Creator throws these sinful humans for eternity.  

In saying that, I DO believe that there is a dark and desolate place for people who need additional lessons learned before they are able to enter the Eternal Heavens.  Some people call it Purgatory.  I really don’t call it anything, because I try very hard today not to label.  But in my heart, I do believe this place exists.  And then and only then, when the ego has been pulled apart and broken down to the essence of humility, do these beautiful but scarred souls release themselves into the eternal bliss of Oneness with God.

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(Credit: Ryan Wykoff)

I also believe in other races outside the Human race on Earth.  I believe in the Sirians, the Arturians, the Pleiadians, the Andromedans, the Orions and countless other species that inhabit the grand Universe.  With these other races, we are only then given the chance to reach out to so many other Heavens.  But all these Heavens are provided for and Created none other than the Prime Creator, we all know as God.  

This, is what I see when I close my eyes at night.

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I hear soft whispers of singing and humming, along with ripples of energy waves that look like rainbows floating in the skies.  The skies, depending on where I am, are colors of Purple, Blue, Green, Aqua, Yellow, Pink and Orange.  They are almost hyper in color.  I smell scents of Jasmine and  Honeysuckle, Sandalwood and Sage, Sweet Grass and Lavender.  I am in the best of health, and have found myself on many occasions being able to fly, jump hundreds of feet into the air, and land as if I was a dried leaf landing on its final resting place. I have strength beyond my wildest imagination. But there is one thing I cannot leave out.  The joy.  The euphoria.  The absolute state of ecstatic bliss I feel in this state is beyond comprehension.

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I look out to the iridescent seas of aqua and almost a metallic white (as I said, the colors are almost hyper, or neon)…I have an energy pulsating within me, sending sweet sparks of happiness through what I would think to be my veins.  I am ready to go to my Eternal Home.

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What does my home look like, you ask?

From what I can remember, the air itself has a pink aura to it.  It might be because almost every tree where I live has beautiful sweet pink flowers blossoming from them.  The day light hours are always hazy but no humidity.  Nighttime turns the beautiful blue skies a light purple, with stars so many it is impossible to count.  In a way, it is always Springtime.  There are paths around this area that are made of crystals and cobblestones.  The houses where souls live, are different shapes and sizes, but all made from the same material:  Crystal, a luminous metal of some sort and birch wood.  Parts of the homes are decorated with the most beautiful gemstones of emeralds, diamonds, rubies and so forth.  My “village” or “town” that I live in is always buzzing with some form of celebration.  Music is always playing, everyone is so happy and so peaceful.  If I had to put a physical look to it, my home is a combination of the town of Duillond and The Shire from Middle Earth. It might be why both these places always stirred some emotional connection within me.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, below are some pictures of the perceived look of these places…

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I look up into the sky, and see beautiful ships passing by, as well as comet-looking streaks that gives me the acknowledgement that they are indeed, fellow souls on their travels.

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So, imagine if you will, a never-ending Spring time.  Everywhere you go, there are flowers and trees continually blossoming and yet, always fruitful.  The colors are extremely vivid, almost overwhelming your sense of sight.  Even the air itself, has a buzzing energy you can actually see as metallic flecks of rainbow energy dazzling around you, as if pixie dust was actually part of the atmosphere.   The sky during the day was a bright sky blue, while the Sunrise and Sunset gave off dazzling hues of reds, purples, pinks and orange.  The nighttime sky was a shade of lavender purple that makes the starry skies light up in magical wonderment.

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These are my thoughts, my visions, my dreams.  It is what helps me sink into sleep at night.  To dream of this heavenly home like the Undying Lands in Tolkien stories or Valhalla in the Norse tales.  As if Ireland, Scotland, the Maldives and New Zealand decided to become one big land.  That is my heaven.  I hope to share my story to you all one day.  Now, if only a publisher would be remotely interested in a story like this?  

 

The Demon Within…

One of the biggest things I deal with during this particular time of the year is the big D.  Most people know what I speak of, and I’m sure many of you are sitting on the other side of your computer nodding in complete and utter understanding.

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Depression, as many know, is when a chemical imbalance in our brains result in a disruption of some-sort, creating a sort of chaos in our bodies that causes hopelessness. Most times, depression is the result of a tragedy a person experiences, whether it be a death, break-up, or any of loss of “something”….Sometimes, in my case, it could be just a simple explanation of the weather 5 feet from me.  It is one of my biggest struggles I face with in life, and every year I pray and pray that somewhere, somehow, this feeling of sadness would end.

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So, let’s talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)….

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It goes without saying that everyone, both of human and animal alike, NEED sunlight.  The vitamins coming from the sun gives off so much energy and a pulse of life itself, there is no wonder why people love to “Sun bathe”.  Sadly, for me, I’m a Celt by blood.  A mixture of Irish, English, Scottish, and German.  So, putting my pasty self outside for more than a few moments will cause my skin to scream.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t love to be out in the sun.  It’s why I am a morning person, so to speak…(I say that because during the Monday-Friday deal, I’m not really worth talking to in the morning, but that’s a whole other story LOL)

In the Northern Hemisphere, at the time of Litha, otherwise known as Midsummer or the Summer Solstice, the Sun is at his prime, beaming down with such veracity, it even finds the shadiest of places.  But sadly, after that prime day of days, the Sun begins its fall.  And within 6 months, the Sun, although still shining, does not have the luster and awe that we had just a few months before.  For many people, this time is the beginning of Winter.  And we start our slow climb back to the manifestation of the gifts the Sun gives us in the Spring and Summer.

So, during the time after the holiday and New Year season ends, there is a period of silence.  Nothing really happens until the next little break, which is Valentine’s Day.  And then, after that, is the Spring Equinox, Ostara, or as many know it to be, Easter.

What do we do during this period?  Well, for me, I kind of go crazy and start cleaning and regrouping my life, creating goals for the warmer weather to come, all while taking care of my mind, body and soul, who is sadly ill-at-ease over the lack of warm sunlight, growth and overall life.

It’s why I love living myself according to the Celtic Seasonal Calendar.  It makes sense for me, because I always was like a month early to prepare for each season/holiday.  In just a few weeks, MY Winter will be over.  On February 1st, I celebrate the feast day of St. Bridget, who holds the keys of the kingdom for my favorite Season: Spring.

February 1st in the Celtic Calendar is the Season of Imbolc (Pronounced IMM-OLCK).  It is the beginning of the Springtime, the time where our Mother Earth is stirring and beginning her slow process of “waking up”.  Just as we, each morning, open our eyes, stretch our arms and legs, and get reacquainted with the morning and the light, so does Mother Earth.  The soil, through its Winter hibernation, begins to warm up, allowing the seeds within the soil to take heed and blossom.  One of the greatest gifts we can get in the Early Springtime are Crocuses.  They are Mother Nature’s quiet little trumpets, usually peeking up within the snow and cold ground, alerting us all that warm weather IS coming back.  That is the beauty of this planet.  Of where I live.  We know Spring follows Winter.  It’s how life is.

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So, what do I do in the meantime?  Even as I type this out, on this lazy Sunday morning, I feel sad.  Sad because going outside would require me to bundle up because the air is SO cold, it would actually hurt my skin.  Make my eyes water.  Even the “smell” of life, is not there.

What makes me gaga over being outside?  Feeling the grass beneath my bare feet.  Smelling the seasonal flowers breezing through the air.  Seeing the magnificent trees, shrubs and bushes blossom with beautiful green leaves…In the Celtic myths, Autumn and Winter meant Jack Frost was out and about, dropping hints of frost and ice among everything alive, telling them it’s time to die or go to sleep….In the Spring and Summer Months, Jack in the Green is our go-to guy.  He is the one who warms the skies and the Earth, and instead of frost, we have beautiful droppings of dew.

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(one of MANY Jack in the Green Parades held every year in Europe)

This is what makes my pulse quicken, my heart smile and my soul beam.  Warmth, light….like Persephone feeling so out of touch down in the Underworld, where she could not use her Gift with the Living World, and patiently waited until it was time for her to go back up, and be among the Living again, to feel the warmth of the Sun on her skin…Yes, I feel the exact same way.

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Since going off all Depression and Anxiety medicine, and opting for my Kratom intake, I can honestly say it hasn’t been TOO smooth sailing.  Of course it would be easy for me to put some chemicals into my body and numb myself…but it would be a disservice to me to do so.  I know not everyone agrees with me on that.  I always welcome other’s opinions and ideas…it’s just…it’s not for me.  I’ve been very careful over the last several years to deal with my addiction to pain killers…and for someone like me who is always in some kind of pain, it’s an easy excuse for me to pop a pill and call it a day.

No, as much as times like these where I wish I had something to numb my physical and emotional pain of the Winter, I know that in the end, it helps me SEE who I really am, because I am completely bare and open to the senses entirely.  I feel things now more than I ever have.  So, yes, the depression sucks.  But I also know, that there are times I feel such immense joy, that knowing I wouldn’t even feel an inch of that when trying to control my depression with medicine, gives me the honest knowing that I’m doing the right thing.

Don’t get me wrong:  I think about taking something every day.  Even right now, I feel incredibly blue (Get it?  Winter “blues”?) and staring at the walls may be what I need right now to numb the sadness of the lack of life outside….

This depression began in 2001.  And slowly progressed as the years went on…Now that I am in the beginning stages of my body slowing down and turning into the Crone, I feel this even more.

How do I deal with it?  It’s a demon inside of me I deal with every day between Thanksgiving and about Mid-March.  For some people it’s less time, and for others, it’s more.  It feels like the Postpartum depression I had for the first 4 weeks after my son’s birth.  It begins as a nagging feeling, that turns into a feeling of dread.  Dread?  Yup, dread.  It overtakes me like a demon overtakes a human…I cry at everything and anything, I sleep more, I stare more, and I tend to lash out more.  My husband, sons, parents, sisters and closest friends know it the depression talking.  The know this silly little hobbit doesn’t usually act like this, and know how to approach me during my times of struggle.  They know and respect the fact I don’t want chemicals in my body.  They are patient and kind, and allow me the time and patience I need for myself to understand how my body reacts to this rough season.

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(seriously, whoever created these are a GENIUS)

Kratom certainly helps, but, it is just a band aid.  It does NOT take away the full feelings.  But it does lessen the load.  And the best part?  It does not numb me.  If there could be anything that I hate, it is the numbness of my body, mind and soul.  To lose the essence of your life just because there’s a period of time each year where I feel sad, it’s just not enough for me to make that kind of decision.  That’s not for me to judge anyone who DOES.

So, for the next few weeks, I will be quietly tinkering away at my new home.  Putting things in their place, and dealing with the sadness I not only feel for the cold months, but for other things I cannot control.  It’s a continued lesson in humility, and I love that I’m always up for the challenge, no matter how tired and sad I’m feeling at the moment.

What makes me happy during the colder months?

  • Music – Usually Celtic/Irish/Scottish music, 80’s Pop, and some Sacred World music, from either Lisa Thiel, Snatnam Kaur, or Spiral Dance
  • Painting – I am still trying to find my easle, but the moment I do, I’m off!
  • Festivals – There is an amazing Scottish and Irish Festival that happens in February, and it truly lifts up my spirits EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
  • Garden Planning – For the first time since 2007, I will have my own garden again.  Planning it has definitely helped tremendously during this time.
  • Snuggles – My boys know all these need to do is snuggle up to me, it will bring a big smile.  I love my family.
  • Cleaning – I tend to light A LOT of incense that smells of lavender, jasmine, and other springy smells…as well as light lots of candles…and the smell of Pine Sol?  OMG Don’t go there with me…it’s like heaven haha!
  • Ritual – if there is anything I love to do, is to be in ritual with myself.  That time you give to yourself, whether it is meditating, chanting, praying, or even something simple like taking a nice, warm bath…yes, it helps a great deal.

I know there are probably more, but these are the big ones.  Tell me about what you do!  I am always looking for suggestions.

Lots of Hobbit Love,

Bridget

 

Happy New Year and Where I’ve Been…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Okay. So check this out:

Over the course of the last month and the last time I posted something here (yes, you read it, MONTH), I have typed out about 6 blogs. SIX. Not one of them have been posted to my site.

Um, hello? Knock knock? Bridget? Whatcha doing over there?

Yeah. I know. I have been stagnant like 30 day old untreated pool water. Yuck.

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(me pretty much everyday)

What gives? It’s a good question. I appreciate the emails from some of my readers asking me where I was, if I was okay….etc. etc…I could easily tell you I’m fine…life is swell.

Truth is…it’s not. And that’s OKAY!

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(yes, I have been incredibly anti-social lately)

I wish I could be Miss Happy Girl 24/7, and don’t get me wrong, I really DO everything I can to achieve that on a daily basis.

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But, something’s up. And I know what it is. Right now, I’m going to keep it to myself until I feel it is the right time to throw it out for discussion.

There is nothing…and I really mean this…NOTHING, more heartbreaking than having a certain dream of something and knowing full well it is NEVER going to come true. In regards to my life, this goes in two different directions, but with similar things related to the main idea. It sucks. Truly. But having this knowledge does give me a sense of power, because at least I know, I can work around it. Or better yet, FIX IT.

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Over the course of this last month, though, I have been going through the natural stages of grief.  This came with some humbling knowledge that things I thought in my head were a certain way, were in fact, very much the opposite.

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Truth is, the goals I had 10 years ago are nowhere NEAR the goals I have today.  Heck, the goals I had 1 year ago no longer serve me as goal-worthy.  Not because I can’t achieve it; truth be told, you can achieve anything if you set your heart out to it…no, it’s because I no longer care, support,  nor want to be a part of that anymore.

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Kinda of like when you were a kid, and had a certain way of handling your things, or even just living your life, and then one day, you realize you’re no longer a kid, and that your desires are more “grown-up” and the kid-stuff no longer applies to you.

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Here’s the thing:  You don’t have to be going through puberty to understand this philosophy.

As humans, we naturally evolve based on our habitat, culture, and generation we are applied to.  Just as fads and trends change with each passing decade, so do your thoughts, feelings, and ideaology as well.  It’s what makes us such amazing beings.

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Last year, in fact, sometime around this part of the day on December 31st, I sat down in my little apartment and wrote out a piece of paper that had the following things:

GOALS FOR 2015

Continue down the path of authenticity

Write more

Get married

Buy a new house

The good news is, I achieved each one of these very goals.  YAY ME!

The bad news is, I’ve got a LONG way to go….

So, in order to really really achieve my authentic self, my blogging, my marriage, and my new home, I have to make a change.

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I know what this change is.  I feel it so strongly that I opened up to my parents, my husband, one of my Uncles and my best friend. Yeah, I don’t screw around…when making big changes, you don’t want those you are close to to be completely thrown off course.  Believe it or not, even if no one else has a right to dictate how you live, it is always a courtesey to make sure they at least KNOW what you are planning.  The shock value has all but disappeared, therefore creating less drama in your life.

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So, in light of my last blog and the things I’ve experienced the last few months, I’ve decided I’m making only ONE goal this year.  But oh boy, it’s a big one.  Look, I don’t like being a tease, and my readers know that one of the best forms of authenticity is it be as transparent as you can be.  Right now, I have a lot of things I need to think about.  My decisions I make at my age are never made in haste and are NEVER taken lightly.  But the thing is, the result of this goal is going to help continue to achieve the happiness and well-being of all the other goals I’ve ever set on.

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Truly, just writing this all out makes my decisions more real, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to chicken out on making my dreams come true.

No matter how crazy or unbelievable they are.

The last few decisions I made for myself that had the same desire surge from within me was knowing I wanted to marry my husband, buy a house, and walk away from certain people that no longer serve me.  Each one of those things has brought me nothing but blissful peace.

I can do this.  Hell yeah.  I’m so gonna do this!

Much Bohemian Love,

Bridget

Year In Review…Goals for 2016

10307193_1559900494267589_6711902782439770635_nAnyone else thinking this year went super fast?  I mean, I feel like it was just a couple weeks ago I was getting into our SUV after our wedding reception.  That was April.  So much has happened in this last year I cannot even begin to start.  So, instead, I’m just going to plunge right into goals for next year.

As many of you know, I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions.  I think they are truly lofty aspirations that end of not even making it out of the month of January.  People need to stop doing that to themselves!  Instead, make goals.  Instead of making a resolution to START something, make a goal, which is an END result!  That way, you don’t feel pressured into starting at a particular time, and can figure it out as you go along.  So what are my goals for 2016?

Well, I have a few.  And boy, a couple of them are big ones.  I think we should all at least have one big goal for the year, so you don’t feel as if your life is becoming stagnant.  For me, it’s a change.  A major change.  I really can’t go far more into it than that because the change I am considering is going to upset people I know.  And really, I’d rather deal with it when the time actually comes, then deal with the backlash of debate and ridicule from people who claim I would be making a huge mistake, being flighty, and so on.  So, instead, I’m going to talk about the little stuff…

#1.  The Spiral Willow is going to become more active.  I will admit, I’m a little bummed I’ve got a big inventory of really amazing stuff for a decent and competetive price, but yet no one seems to want to buy.  It bums me out when people seek me out for Oracle Readings and Tarot Readings, but since I’ve started requesting donations for my readings, all of a sudden it’s radio silent out there. Makes for a sad hobbit.  So, I will be doing more sale and more incentives, and even considering doing a boxed subscription each month.

#2. I’m going to learn how to play the guitar. (Again).  A few weeks ago my husband came home with all his guitars that have been in storage.  I myself own a guitar but it is too large for me.  I found my husband had a red guitar, a little smaller than the one I own.  I put it in my arms, and it felt RIGHT.  It was as if my fingers were tingling.  So yeah.  Time to re-learn.

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#3. I want to take my kids to New York and Baltimore.  My husband and I talked about this at great length, and we’d really like to find time to get our family to go to these places for the day.  They are not far from our homes and our boys deserve to see a little culture.

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#4.  I want to take a PROPER vacation camping/going to the shore.  Like a whole week off from work.  Not a mini vacation here and there.  I want to wake up every morning and smell the forest air. Walk on the trails.  Read in a hammock.  Swim in the lake or pool.  Like Everyday.

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#5.  I would like to start my Red Tent community.  Please see my page right here for more information.

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#6.  I need my house to be fully unpacked and readied to be lived in.  We’ve been living here since the beginning of October and we haven’t even neared the half way point.  A lot of this has to be with no vacation time left.  So, I am hoping to make a move in getting that done in early 2016.

#7. I plan to create more.  Paint, draw, work with my herbs, forage, create my oils and tinctures, yes, this is the year my creations are going to take more of a hold on this world.

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#8. I plan to meditate more.  Finding alone/quiet time can be difficult, no matter how hard you try.  Even if it’s from your own mind, you can never seem to get out of a certain place without having your mind racing with thoughts.  I want to create a daily ritual where I quiet my mind and just listen to my breath.

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#9. I plan to let go.  I have been holding on to things for so long, it is only habit now I keep holding on.  Not anymore.  So much of my weight is in emotional baggage that people expect me to carry, either because they cannot forgive me for things, or have expectations of me doing penance for the rest of my life for things I did in the past.  I cannot control other people’s emotions, and so, since I’ve been trying to hold on for a modicum of relief in certain relationships, I just know it’s not going to be the case, and I’m going to let go of them.

#10. I’m going to smile every day.  There is no question amongst my friends and family alike that I haven’t been happy with certain things in my life.  Some of these changes that I stated above will result in this #10.  I deserve nothing less than to be the happiest I can be every day.  And damned if I’m not going to try my hardest to achieve that.

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And so, those are my goals.  Have you thought about yours?

Samhain and the Time of No Time…An Earth Spiritualist’s POV…

wheel_of_the_year    Today I was listening to the Starz’ Series Outlander Volume 1 and 2 Soundtrack on my computer and couldn’t help but feel a jolt of excitement.  Samhain is coming up next week, and if anyone has watched the Outlander Series, Claire’s journey begins on the feast of Samhain.  (Mind you, the book is different and shows that her journey begins on Beltane, but I kind of like this change, since Samhain is literally strewn in mystery, which is what time traveling is all about, right?)

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Samhain.  The end and yet the beginning of the Celtic New Year.  Halloween itself started about 1300 years ago in the Celtic Isles, however Samhain has been around much much longer than that.  This Holy Day, was the original holy day of obligation that many today know it as All Saints/All Souls Day.  The ORIGINAL holiday was called Samhain or Samhuinn (pronounced SAH-WHEN).

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(Samhain Ritual and Celebration at Columcille Megalith Park in Bangor, PA 2013 – Photo taken by Sean DeStephano)

So, how can I go from understanding myself as a Galactic Starseed during this Ascension process yet still can resonate with my Earthly bound needs?  Well, for me it’s quite simple.  Our souls are galactically bound to the Heavens, to our Creator.  It’s so vast and so strong and powerful, there is no denying where our souls come from. (at least in my opinion).  However, we are humans of the Earth right now, and we asked to be a part of this planet to learn the lessons our souls need right now.  And there is no doubt, no doubt, in my mind, how connected I am to Mother Earth.

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From gardening, to the Moon, to understanding my body’s wants and needs, and how this is all connected to the core of my humanness, my soul.  See, what many people don’t either understand or care to want to educate themselves on is that these Earth Spirituality faiths were the original religions.  Yes, I know it may come as a shock to many, but these “religions” came before Judiasm, before Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, and so on.  What has happened today is that Jesus’ legacy was severely altered by subjecting those followers to believe that honoring the planet we walk upon should be viewed as “evil”.  Men perversed the Earth religions because it overpowered their own beliefs.  How the written word has literally been changed time and time again over thousands of years.  How sad is that????  Think about it this way:  You decide to start a company.  You begin in the trenches and work your way from the bottom.  Then, something happens…people start buying into your business.  You make enough money and some big investment firm offers you a proposition that you simply could NOT turn way.  You leave your company in the hands of those who never knew what you had to do to get where you are today.  Fast forward 5 years, and everything you originally started the company was no longer there.  The product changed.  The logo changed.  The mission statement changed.  Everything you thought of, dreamed of, was gone.  Why?  Because someone else decided they wanted to make it different.  And all it takes is a little marketing and boom….it’s a new brand.

This is precisely what happened here.  The old religions were shunned aside, making way for something different.  And I mean, come on, let’s look at Christianity.  The teachings Jesus taught.  Do you REALLY think that’s what the church stands for today?  I’m not looking for debate here, I’m not looking to insult anyone’s faith.  In fact, I love Christianity.  Well, the way it WAS, at least.  I live in a way, a Christian life.  I am kind to EVERYONE, even those who have hurt me.  I forgive.  I work hard and am humble. (at least I try to be).  I try to set a good example for my children.  I am loyal.  And I believe EVERYONE is welcome to enjoy the glories of eternal life, no matter WHAT faith you walk by.

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But see, I’m more than that.  I wish you could feel what I feel when I go outside at night and look up at the Moon.  Or when I light some incense and close my eyes and think about how I can be a better person in life.  Or a take a set of cards and lay them out, trying to find out what I need to do to work on myself.  Or when I stand in front of a table, with statues or pictures of people I love and honor, and pray to help me here in life.  Now, let me ask you:  Do I sound like a person who is evil?  Do you think I am playing with fire?  Because that’s truly what people think.    I’ve learned to let it go, no matter how much it breaks my heart.  But my love of this planet, my creator, and everyone around it is MORE important than a few people who think I am damned to eternal fires.  It just has to be this way.

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(The Moon from our deck just now)

This coming weekend I will be spending a quiet evening with a couple of people I am incredibly close to.  My next of kin outside my own blood family.  And we will be honoring those who have passed on, especially those in the last year.  I have a list of friend’s relatives, family and friends who have been asked to be put on my special intentions list, and we will be remembering them that evening.  I will call them to join us for dinner, and to stay with us in deep and spiritual meditation, reminding them how much they were loved here, and how they will never be forgotten.  In Latin communities, they call it Dia De Los Muertos.  In Christian communities, they call it All Saints/All Souls Day.  Again, let me ask you, why is it okay for those in those communities to do what I do, yet what I do is evil?  Asking people to let down their guard, as well as their egos, can be quite a challenge.  But I always welcome this conversation, because I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they believe in.  And as long as they respect me the way I respect them, we will live in more harmony.

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(Ritual of Dia De Los Muertos in Mexico)

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(Catholic Cemetery honoring All Souls Day in Bangladesh)

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(Traditional Altar honoring the ancestors at Samhain)

Samhain is a time of reflection, a time where we go into a void until the Winter Solstice, which is the beginning of Yule, the welcoming back of the sun, or in Christian communities, the Son.  I love this time of year, because it is an amazing experience to really go inward, and let go of your ego, and you realize what true humility is like.  It’s precious, and I take advantage of every moment I have in reflective solitude.

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I am going to begin doing classes for those who are interested in my path.  I look forward to helping people on their path, whether it is along my side, or on a different road.  Either way, I will always be there for those who need me.

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Another great thing about the next several weeks of being in “no time”, is in that reflection, I will find more time for my art.  My art in writing, painting, drawing, and other crafts.  If you are interested in a painting or drawing or anything of that matter, please let me know.  I have found my best work, albeit in my poetry and artwork, always comes between November and the first 3 weeks of December.  My inspiration?  The skies at Sunset.  Trust me when I say they are extraordinary.

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(December 2013 Sunset near Appalachian Mountains)

Will you be participating in anything honoring your ancestors this week?  If so, how?  I love to hear about what everyone is going to be doing.

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Photo:Copyright JOE;CONLON;ATHBOY;;;

(Photo:  Joe Conlon)

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The Ascension Series: A Download of a Moment In Between Lives…

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Sometimes it hits me like a mac truck, other times, it comes flowing gently like a sea breeze…

The dreams and feelings are coming back. It’s been a couple months since I wrote about Ascension. But, today these feelings, that can go so deep into my body, are coming back and back in full force. Sometimes, all it takes is a song, a picture, or something my body seems to react to, before I get a download of information from those outside our physical realm. Yes, I do a lot of channeling but do not talk about it because it took many years for me to realize it wasn’t my own ego. Today I saw this picture:

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And immediately my body started to tingle and tears welled up in my eyes. I immediately became what many would view as homesickness.

I didn’t ask for this. I never wanted to be like this. To have these abilities. I can’t even begin to start the bullying I get for who I am. I’m no one special, and yet I am very special. I wish I could make this go away sometimes and just be “normal”, whatever that definition truly represents. It’s bad enough there are people in my life that think I am a complete whackadoodle, but I also know that if I continue to keep these thoughts, these ideas, these feelings, deep within me, I will eventually implode.

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But then, I look at pictures, listen to certain music, and my heart opens up SO wide that fear strikes almost immediately that people will take that vulnerability and attack it with full force.

Someone once said that it would be pretty arrogant of us to think that out of all in the universe, WE are the only beings that live within it.  Even with NASA and other scientists around the world who are finally coming out to admit there IS life outside this planet, people STILL don’t believe it.

Here’s a bit of a fun thought:  Most of us in this world do not originate from Earth. I know that’s hard for people to comprehend. Because right now, at this very moment, this is all we know. Earth is all we know. But so many of us have experienced so many lifetimes on this planet, as well as other planets and universes, that it would be too much for our minds to take in all at once. It’s why we reincarnate. It’s why we have Akashic Records. Between lives, we have the ability to sit down and go over all of our lives, check patterns and see what areas in our soul’s evolution do we still need to work on.

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For me, it’s forgiveness on both sides of the coin. It is truly one of my greatest challenges. So, this life I am leading now I have been challenged literally in all areas of forgiveness from the time I was very little. To learn about forgiving someone and to be forgiven. I have surrendered myself to let things happen as they come. And learn from every one of my mistakes, whether they were self-inflicted or done unto me.

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Right now, I have a home sickness for a place my Earth life cannot remember. I see a vast city, full of white buildings. Crystalline palaces and roads that were so iridescent that one would think you could see right through them. Colors our earthly eyes cannot understand. Plants and trees no one has ever imagined. The air is so pure it is intoxicating to our lungs. Now, some people would call this “Heaven.” And you know, maybe it is! I don’t know. All I know is that it is my home. And right now my heart and soul is longing to be there.

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Now, before people get freaked out…No, I am NOT insinuating I am depressed, suicidal, or anything of that matter. All I am stating is that my soul is continuing its ascension process and every once in a while I get a jolt of something that brings me to a new level. Right now, I just hit a new one. Lately, these jolts have been somewhat painful. But this one…Oh this one, is lovely. It helps me remember why I love Earth so much. Why I love gardening so much. I realized earlier that in this other world, I worked in the agriculture area, as a gardener and animal care taker. I live on the outskirts of this city, near water and forests of such lush, green beauty that I can almost taste it!

You want to take a walk with me in this? Read on as the download commences…

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There is some sort of platform on the edge of this world, where ships of all kinds land. It helps keep the atmosphere of the world at peak levels. There are waterfalls all around this landing area to help ionize the chemicals that may come into the atmosphere. There are very little stairs in this world, as most of the places higher up have ramps. Getting off the ship and onto the base itself is quite simple. However the trek to the city is where the world is going to be at. Mainly because there are very little vehicles allowed in this world for travel, so most people travel by foot, or if you have the flight ability, float or fly. I have a small ability towards flight, but I don’t use it much, so I find myself walking mostly. The road to the city is amazing. Tall trees that look Willows but have the bark of Birch line the forests. Animals are everywhere, and are kind to the beings of this planet. All the animals on this planet are Herbivores. The clothes I am wearing are a bluish/grayish/purplish in nature, and I am wearing pants, a shirt and a long coat/robe over it. I have grayish boots on with material that resembles sheep wool. The air smells of jasmine, so I must assume it is Springtime. I do know that this world experiences mostly Spring, Summer and Autumn. The Winter is dry and cold, but unlike the freezing temperatures the Northeast of the US gets. Most of the time the weather is quite pleasant, with very little rain. Yet the plants continue to thrive, mainly because of a hydro/aquaponics technique that flows underground with the rivers and oceans on the planet. So, the plants get their water from underground.

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After walking a couple hours I come to a clearing, where there is a massive marble wall that lines the city limits. I know I am close to home. I veer off to the left, which is where my home is. I can see it from here, down into the valley, the grass is like a Kelley green. I can see the goats from where I am standing, and some are coming towards me, as they recognize who I am. Yes, I am a goat farmer. (which makes me understand my love of goat cheese on Earth). I live with about 14 people, mainly family members, spread out on a ranch that is not like the ranches we see in the US. No, the buildings of my ranch are 1 floor, very long and wide. There are no windows, mainly because there is very little wind ever. The ranch itself is very open. It’s made of white stone, which almost resembles a white adobe, only much larger. I live on the Southeast end of the city, right inside the entrance.

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The last time I was home, there were only about 5-6 people living there, as the others were incarnated in other lives. I can sense the excitement inside of me, because I know I am home and never want to leave.

The last time I was home, my grandparents were there, along with a couple cousins, my brother and an Aunt. No, I need to be frank here, when I say family, and I mention them here, they are not the same as the Earth family I have. Yes, I do know that some of my Earth family here are also my soul family, but most of them are not. They are familiars from the city, while others are not from my planet.

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My brother is the first to see me, and rushes outside to greet me. He was preparing to go deep into the city to do some bartering, and I decided to go with him. No one else was home at the time, as my family was out and about, so we set out to go into the city. I can see how tall and elongated the buildings are. There is music in the air, yet I do not know where it is coming. It’s sounds angelic and yet electronic in nature. There are parks, houses and neighborhoods all around. It’s like everything is glistening, yet there was no rain. The air is different when you get deeper into the city, as one can feel the excitement as you near the center. It smells like incense almost, like you are near a church, even though there are NO churches on my planet. This I do remember. I look off to the right and see my school. Yes, part of my coming back also means I need to go back to school. I know that the next day I am to meet with my guides and leaders to discuss my previous life, find out where I went right, where I went wrong, what do I see for the next incarnation, and the lessons I need help in. I am an older soul, so I do know that my schooling is coming to an end soon. I do know I am helping out the guides with the newer/younger souls. The younger souls tend to come back quickly because so many of them choose suicide in their life because they do not understand how to handle the stressful situations that a physical life comes with.

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I am beginning to see familiar faces. Some that I feel I haven’t seen in a millennia. There is so much love that surrounds the air itself you could almost see it. It almost reminds me of a busy spring afternoon in New York’s Central Park. People are laying around in the grass on blankets, some playing music, some in the depths of conversation, some reading a book. The activity in the city is electric, yet soothing. This definitely resonates with me, due to the fact I have an equal love for living in the city and living in the country, and here on Earth never understood why I loved the city when I never lived in one.

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We come to a building, which is the bartering center. There are stalls lined up of people with all their works, whether it is food, art, building supplies, you name it, it’s there. It’s a massive center, yet it feels so welcoming walking into it. The clothes most people are wearing are mutes tones of blue, gray, white, green, and purple. Most people are in pants, with those in long dress-like clothes are the teachers and spiritual guides/mentors. Everyone is so happy and friendly. There is very little animosity or issues that go on here. There is never any tension between people, and for those that are, are newer/younger souls that may be in the throes of new education.

There is so much light but you cannot see a particular “sun”. It never truly turns dark, as even in the depth of night, it only gets dark enough to look like dusk on a summer’s eve. The sky turns purple and there are so many stars in the sky it would be impossible to count.

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There is so much to do in the city. There are restaurants, grocery stores, libraries, schools, music clubs, and so on. There seem to be celebrations always going on for one reason or another. While my brother is speaking to one of the merchants, I walk around the city in amazement, listening to the music coming from somewhere, watching some people dance in the park, etc…

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There is no time here. Sure, there is day and night, but not like the clock time we deal with here on earth. There are never set schedules, even though you know to be somewhere when you need to be there. I know this because tomorrow I am going back to school and meeting with my mentors to talk about my life. I get to go to my Akashic Records Room and go over patterns of this past life and the ones before. My goal is to spend a little more time here than last time, as I reincarnated fairly quickly between lives the last time. It may explain the troubles I continually faced in my last life. But for now, my first day back, I rest easy. I look up into the clear blue sky and watch the ships pass over.

And that’s it. That’s all that came to me.

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