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Q & A From the Last Blog….

meadow   Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, so-to-speak, I got inundated with a ton of questions from people, friends, family and you lovely readers, about this “sudden” but not sudden change, how it has affected my life and the lives around me, and what’s going to happen going forward.  So without further ado, here goes the questions:

  1. Bridget, congratulations on finding faith. Your story is really awesome but how does one go from a certain faith/philosophy to a complete 180 with another faith?

Bridget:  This is the most asked question I have been asked since coming out a few weeks ago.  I wish I could explain it better, but it’s like this:  I was the Bridget most people have known for over a decade, and then I took a shower.  When I got out of the shower, every thought, idea, belief and understanding shifted.  Like a mountain range fault that decided to move a few inches, creating an impact for hundreds of miles.  This is precisely what happened to me.  How I went from believing in a specific idea, then after taking that shower, I no longer believed in it, I can’t explain.  It was a supernatural event, plain and simple.

 

  1. What is going to happen to the community you founded 3 years ago based on your former beliefs?

Bridget:  Last year, I went on a sabbatical due to my health issues.  I find it strangely coincidental that things started shifting months before the event ever occurred.   At this point, the community will no longer be what it was, since as its leader, I can no longer teach the philosophies I had been teaching.  It would be awesome to create a Bible/worship/ministry study group out of it, but I’m thinking most will not be up for that.  One never knows, though.

 

  1. How has your family handled your change? They must be so excited! 

Bridget:  Well, not exactly in truth, and really I cannot blame them.  Sure, they are thrilled that I have decided to come back full time to Jesus, but growing up in a Roman Catholic household, even though it is of Christian origin, there are certain dogmatic doctrines within the Catholic Canon Law that stipulates certain things that I happen to disagree on, which caused me to join a Protestant Christian church rather than go back to my Catholic upbringing.  Adult baptism, female pastors/ministers, etc are just a couple of issues I challenge the Catholic Church with, and I know for a fact the Church does not appreciate that.  So one needs to respect those differences…Despite our differences, though, my family is the most amazing people, and I know they love me unconditionally, no ifs, ands or buts.  I do have a cousin who is born again, and he has become even a more protective brother in Christ for me.  Jerry and I had always been close growing up, and coming to this faith only brought us closer.

 

  1. I know you love to watch videos to learn about stuff.  Who has been your go-to channels or websites to keep up with your journey?

 

Bridget:  Oh dear!  Where should I start?  There are quite a few!!!!  Well, Jessica from Truth at Home, Starry Hilder, James and Lea from Philia Ministries, The Fundamental Home, Fouch-a-Matic and Esther Emery, Patara from Appalachia Homestead, Melanie from Road to the Farm, just to name a few!!!!!!  All of them are homesteaders, living their lives according to God, and well, I am just in awe of these amazing godly women!!!!!!!  Go subscribe to their channels on YouTube!!!!  You’ll thank me for it!!!!

 

  1. How has this affected your personal relationship with God?

Bridget:  It has magnified it! Praise God! I honestly feel that I needed to go through the trials and tribulations in my life, because the Father has been preparing me for something big.  I feel my ministry in life is going to finally come to fruition in the next few years.

 

  1. What going to happen to your blog?

Bridget:  Nothing.  My blog is my blog.  Just because I no longer believe in some of the things I talked about on my blog, doesn’t make them irrelevant to other people.  I think down the road, I will eventually archive those blog posts, but for right now, the mystical stuff will come down once I am able to sell the remainder of my inventory.  Plus, I will be putting up a disclaimer to show any new readers about my change.  And I think some of those readings are going to be a great reminder of how dangerously close I came from losing myself to evil.

 

  1. What are you going to do with the friends and family who won’t support you on this?  Don’t those closest to you have a say in making sure you are making the right decisions in your life?

Bridget:  (yes, this question WAS asked)….Um, well, of course they have a say, this is a free will zone, is it not?  But whether or not they have the right to tell me what to do, well, as a 43 year old woman living in a free-ish country, I can easily say that I have my own mind, and without trying to sound snarky in any way, no one REALLY has the right to tell me how to live. Besides God, the only person I answer to is my husband Scott, because he is the head of our family.  I’ve always been a free spirit, so if anything, being closer to God than I have ever been before, will only magnify the love and wonder I have of this world we live in.  I can ONLY hope people see how cool it is to love Jesus!

 

  1. Have you found a church you feel comfortable going to?

Bridget:  YES!  About a mile away from my home, there is an amazing community called Trinity Lighthouse Evangelical Church.  My friends Jenny and Steven invited me there, and I feel so welcomed and comfortable there.  It’s an amazing church, with even a more amazing Pastor.  Even his wife, I feel so kindred with her.  Like she completely GETS me!  And although I have been asked to give lots of churches a try to find the one best suited for me, right now I’m in a good place.  And I look forward to continuing going there.

 

  1. What happened to you going to the Unitarian Universalist Church?

Bridget:  Ah, yes.  This sadly has hurt my heart to stop going there.  I had been going there on and off for almost 5 years.  I spoke to many of the parishoners there, who asked me to reconsider coming back, because in all my years of going to ANY church, this was the one that was like family to me. To put it quite simply, I’m heartbroken to not see them each Sunday.  From Kay, Desiree, Erica, Nick, MaryAnn and Carla, and so many more, not being able to see them actually causes a physical pain, but I know that right now, this is where I need to be right now.  Honestly, I wish there was a way to see both communities each week.

  1. Is this the reason why you stopped blogging for the last few months?

Bridget:  Yes and no.  “Yes” in the way that my brain was going in about a zillion directions, and I could not keep one subject in my head long enough to jot something down.  And then “No” in the way that Wintertime is a very difficult time for me.  Living in Pennsylvania has its many ups during the Spring, Summer and Fall time.  But the moment old man Winter comes to visit, my health deteriorates as well as my state of mind.  Even as I type this on Tuesday, my mind has been filled with worry and anxiety of the raging Nor’easter happening outside.  Seeing gray skies with snow on the ground, crushes my heart.  My heart lies in warmer climates, where life is teeming and abundant.  For 3-4 months, I look upon dormant trees and bushes without their leaves, dead, brown leaves scattered like the memories of the warmer days the year before.  And it truly makes me ridiculously sad.

In light of that, though, I tend to pray more in the Wintertime, mainly because even with all my family and friends, I feel incredibly lonely and know that God is listening to me when I am in my darkest moments.  So, I turn inward, write more in my journal rather than my blog, pray and have lots of contemplation time.  It is when I tend to hear God the most!

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So….that’s it, folks.  Those are the top ten questions I have been asked in the last few months over what’s happened to me.  Once this weather starts to stabilize and get warmer in the weeks to come, you will see more gardening/homesteading blogs and hopefully a video blog soon.  I would love to get everyone’s feedback on my thoughts for the upcoming gardening season and what people would like to see this old Hobbit girl try out!  This is Winters last Hurrah this week, so I am trying to keep that in mind with lots of love and hope for Spring and new life to come.

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If you have any additional questions you want answered, send me a message or comment below.

Taking that Other Path in the Fork Of the Road…

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One of my favorite sayings I like to say when I feel I need to have a heart to heart with someone – I like to call it a “Come to Jesus” talk.  Sometimes the most amazing and profound events in our lives tend to be also hilariously ironic.  This is precisely the case over the last couple months.

I’m going to tell you something that I didn’t think I would EVER utter to anyone.  This includes my husband, my sons, my parents, my sisters, my family and devoted friends.  I don’t necessarily know why I need to bear witness to this, but I do believe it’s time for me to speak out.  Since November 18, 2016, I’ve been quietly obsessing over it, because of how much it changed me.  And mark my word: I am changed.  Incidentally, my son Tim told me last night, “Mom, I don’t know about you, but there is something really DIFFERENT about you that I’ve noticed the last several weeks.”

At this point, only a collective few, including my husband and son, know what happened.

I’ve been on an incredible journey, and I guess now, it’s okay to talk about it.

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First things first: I was born with the addiction gene in my DNA.  And this gene has taken front and center throughout my life. Food, prescription drugs, relationships, spirituality, you name it, if my heart felt a flutter, I took it for all it was.  Kind of like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Right now, my latest addiction seems to be on something I have taken for granted for many many years.

I am finding it very challenging to really put into words what I want to say. But trust me on this:  This will probably be a long post, because I believe once I get talking, it’s hard to stop.

Most of the time my head tends to be in the clouds, thinking and dreaming of things that I want, not just for myself, but everyone I love.  However, something needs to be said, when your life has been on this particular journey and living this particular belief, when all of a sudden it comes to an abrupt stop for no reason.  And like the flip of a switch, everything that I believed in, held and cherished for so many years, started to dissipate.

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Going back:  The moment I first felt a twinge in my spirituality was when I was a semi-practicing Catholic.  This spiritual “awakening”, so-to-speak, occurred in the early months of 2004.  4 years later, in 2008, I was beginning my life without my soon-to-be ex-husband and found myself delving into another type of spirituality, which many called Paganism. It was something darker than what I had been used to, and yet it fascinated me to my core nonetheless.  Honestly?  I fell in love with Paganism.  Not just because of the rituals or clothing or music, but because I felt I could hold MYSELF accountable for things, rather than feel like some heavenly parental figure is up in the skies waiting for me.  For 4 years, I laid low, while continuing to practice as a Catholic, while secretly delving deep into practicing Paganism.  But I still loved Jesus.  That never swayed.  I truly believed in the heart of my hearts that my love for Jesus actually grew from my studies, and found I started calling myself a Christo-Pagan. (There is such a religion that exists).

In 2012, I finally made the decision to leave the Catholic Church, and be open about loving my Earth Spirituality.  In essence, I called it that because Paganism has a societal stigma that causes people to believe that all who practice it are devil-worshiping, animal sacrificing, followers of Satan.  I need to tell you all this – Paganism is NOT devil worshiping.  Pagans actually don’t believe in the devil.  It angered me so much, that I wanted to prove to the world my spirituality was if anything, stronger than when I was a practicing Catholic.  I joined a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, then became a leader in the community guiding and teaching like-minded individuals who saw and felt the same as I. I finally thought I was home in my faith.  Being able to love God, Jesus and Mary and the Saints and Angels, all while dedicating myself to Mother Earth by committing myself to the fundamentals of holding rituals honoring not just them, but all the deities that all the cultures in the world were made up of.  I felt I was co-existing with Mother Earth herself and I was a handmaiden to her services.  As the years passed, I realized Jesus, Mary, the Saints and the Angels started to take a back burner to other deities whom I wanted to learn and study.  I’ll be honest.  I tried.  I really did.  But it never felt the same.  Literally, I would thank a deity for something they gave me, but if I found myself in trouble, I called on Jesus.  I knew it, and yet continued to block my mind of the hypocrisy I was finding myself in.  Deep in.  How dangerous it was for me to think just because another religion doesn’t believe in something like the devil, didn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

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How funny it was, then, when Jesus decided to take a stand for His cause, and call me back to the land of His living, and in the WEIRDEST place possible.

Jesus has an incredible sense of humor, I’ll tell ya.

In the Autumn of 2016 (funny, 4 years from the last opened door), I started studying Hinduism.  I was listening to a lot of Hindi music, while trying to practice some of the festival rituals that are held usually on the other side of the world.  I even wrote a blog about it here!!!!!

But if you are a subscriber or devoted follower to my website, you know that this was my last blog.  November 6, 2016.  Exactly TWO weeks later, I fell off the proverbial ledge and went underground, like Persephone in the old Greek tales.  For those two weeks, I lingered down there, because something was troubling me.  I felt a weight on my shoulders and my chest was so heavy I couldn’t explain, let alone breathe.  And then it happened.

November 18, 2016.  I took a shower.

I know, that was anti-climatic.  I just wanted you all to take a deep breath, cause we’re about to go down that rabbit hole.

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Okay, so…Here’s where it gets weird:

It started out as nothing special.  It was a Friday night, and my husband was out getting our food after dropping off my step-son at his mothers, my son was at a friend’s for the evening.  It was just me and my doggie, Linus.  I turned on some Native American music in our bedroom and strolled naked into the bathroom where I felt I could take a nice long, hot shower all by myself.  There’s a freedom you feel when you have that alone time, and this was no exception.  I was singing and dancing in the shower, taking my time to clean myself, when all of a sudden, I felt a presence with me.  I turned around, and SO HELP ME GOD,  Jesus was standing in the shower with me.

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I wish I was making this up, but this is the stone cold truth.

There was nothing perverted, obviously, but more or less the shock value from my end created a moment of ice-breakage.  He stood there with his arms crossed, not getting a bit wet, and said, “Sister, WHAT are you doing?”  He had on a white robe, with what looked like a violet colored sash.  He looked exactly like I had always pictured Him.

Frightened wasn’t the word.  Stunned?  Even more so.  I told Jesus that I was taking a shower as He could see, thinking even for a second that maybe this was all being made up in my head, questioning in my head if I fell in the shower and blacked out, did I have wine I forgot I was drinking? But this….this was real. He said, “Don’t patronize me, Bridget! You KNOW what I’m talking about.  ANOTHER RELIGION?  Am I really THIS bad that you want to look for more salvation in something else because you can SEE it?” He sounded exasperated, if not annoyed to the core.

AND STILL, I kept thinking this was all being made up in my head.

And then in a loud, booming voice, He said:

“Do you REALLY want to ruin ALL that you have created up there?”

And the most frightening to me, He said,

“Am I really not enough for you?”

I immediately felt a twinge of pain, or maybe it was guilt, because I couldn’t understand what the HELL was going on, but apparently Jesus was legitimately upset with me.  Upon realizing this, He then sighed and said something I’ll never forget:

“I want you to sing a song for me”, He said, “Remember that song you used to sing in choir, called ‘Hosea?’  Sing that for me. I like to think this is ‘OUR’ song.”  (now, in any other circumstance, anytime given the chance to sing in the shower, I’m going to make that sh** happen.)  But at this point I was having a heated conversation with Jesus in the SHOWER and the fear in me rose up, so I started singing quite softly:

 

“Come back to me, with all your heart, don’t let fear keep us apart.

Trees do bend, though straight and tall, so must we to others call.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you, to your heart where I will speak.

Integrity, and justice, with tenderness, you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming home to me,

And living deeply our new life.”

 

And just like that, 12 years of my life slowly washed away, like a silent tsunami coming in the middle of the night without any warning.

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Everything I was, everything I THOUGHT I was, everything I thought I was going to be, disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I stood in the shower, looking down on my hands as the water was running off of me, and realized I was alone again.  But this was different: I felt a loneliness I never felt before, and not only was it suffocating, it was profoundly heartbreaking.  I started sobbing to the point I was shaking like someone hit me with a cattle prod. I started banging my fists on the wall of the shower so hard, bottles started falling off the shower shelf.  I started screaming “I’m sorry!  I’m SORRY! What have I done?  I’m so sorry!  Please forgive me!!!!”  But Jesus was no longer there.  I was utterly alone.  I fell to my knees in absolute despair and realized what a fool I was. For over a decade I acted like I loved him and knew him, all the while allowing other things to get in the way; it was the most horrible act of defiance and dishonesty I ever did in my entire life.

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And now I was alone.  It was the darkest moment of my life to date.

But then I heard Him.  And I felt this almost heated warmth flow through my body, as if I was encapsulated within something like an incubator.  As I continued to sob on my knees, water still running, I heard Him:

“Shhhhhhh….Bridget Ohhhhhhh sweetheart, I know…..Welcome back!  Welcome back.  It’s alright.  It’s alright.  Just cry it out.  I never left you, no matter how much you wanted me to let you go, I just couldn’t.  And you know what?  You didn’t want to let go either.  It’s why you kept me silently close to you all these years, even when you told others I wasn’t there….shhhhhhh, no more tears.  It’s over.  The pain has been washed away….I made sure of this.  No more tears, Bridget.  Breathe in your new life.”

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How does one recover from something like that?

I decided to delve into that part of me that has been in-fact, reborn.

I started reading the Bible.  I stopped doing earthly rituals that benefited my wants.  I began to walk on the side I promised myself 12 years ago I would never come back to.  I went back to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, where they welcome all creeds.  I opted NOT to go to a Christian church at first, well, mainly because my brain still has a belief that so many of these big-built theater-like churches are all ego-based ministry trying to pull people in for money and numbers.  Don’t get me wrong, let me explain before I get scolded:  I’m not saying they are ALL this way, it’s just how my brain has been perceiving this for so many years, I can’t remember when the thought first entered my mind. Nevertheless, I started watching documentaries on the Bible, on Christianity as a whole, on Jesus’ humanity and divinity.  And continued to go to the UU Fellowship until I realized I needed something more.

Most importantly, I got back to praying.  At least, the kind of praying I used to do years ago, now with a better understanding rather than I was “told” to say it.

I began listening to people like Kat Kerr, who has been given the gift of visions of Heaven.  And I then realized in an instant, that’s where my focus is going to be.

Heaven.

And what I need to do to get there.

I realized over the last several weeks that everything that I want, my garden, my homestead, future animals like chickens and goats, my front porch farm stand….all of it – has been cooking up in my brain and my heart with the absolute faith that one day I’ll get there.  So, why now is this happening?  Why has Jesus decided to make his presence known in the way it was presented?

I took some time to think about everything.  The shower.  Water.  Emotion.  Water is all about emotion.  And whenever I take a shower, I like to think when the water is falling on me, all the crap and muck from the day is being washed away.

So yeah, in a very different but just as intimate way, I was reborn again.

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What does this mean for the earthly spiritual Bridget who loves to talk about angels, mother earth and the seasons?  Well, just hold on a sec.  I’m still here.  I’m still Bridget. I think that if anything, all my beliefs I have, are just that.  I can’t change what I truly believe to be true, as feelings are neither right nor wrong.  I think it has to do with what and more importantly, HOW we use our beliefs that makes up our character.

So, in the last several weeks, I’ve undergone much change.  And it has been an amazing journey.

But you know what? I’m still burning sage, collecting crystals and such.  But now I have a more intimate understanding of my uses for them. But no worries, I’m still the querky eclectic Bridget that will do anything to get people to smile.

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I’m also going to continue celebrating the seasons through the Celtic Wheel of the Year method.  Ancient farmers used this method, it wasn’t just religious symbolism. Many organic farmers today still work with the moon and the seasons of the year based on these ancient traditions, and not modern commercialism.  So, as far as I’m concerned, Winter is over and Spring is here!  It is early Spring, so things are still dead and it’s pretty damn cold outside.  But some of my potted bulbs outside that don’t get hit with the frost are peeking out already.  As far as I’m concerned, the days of Light and Life are coming back.

I know I may lose friends over this revelation, and that’s okay.  Just as people evolve, I am sure relationships go through the same course.

Today my BFF Jenny and her amazing boyfriend Steven, took me to my first Christian service in what has been many years.  Over the last week, I got to speak to my cousin, Jerry, who told me he was overjoyed and filled with so much love and happiness for me for my conversion and is looking forward to talking with me more.

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind.  I have met with so much amazing positive manifestations with my personal life in health and career.  I have found myself immersed into personal Bible study and watching videos that seem to be calling me to watch.  Each day I wake up, I ask for Grace, even though I am not worthy of it.  I pray to have a good day and make good decisions.  And each day has been wonderful.  I feel like a child.  I’m learning all over again.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be saved. But I do know, that feeling the presence of Jesus in my life has turned my life around.  Everything that I am is changed.  But, I am still Bridget.  I promise you that.  I am still open minded.  Still an empathic bad-ass.  Still a devout lover of Mother Earth.  I’m just understanding my life a bit differently now. I’m understanding my spirit now.  And most importantly, I’m understanding my heart.

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This website will eventually change on some levels.  My store will come down and hopefully I will be able to change my tax id to my alias name, The Bohemian Hobbit.  The Spiral Willow will be closing.  My tinctures and teas will still be around, and hopefully one day, I will be selling other things more deserving of my journey. If you are interested in buying certain things on my site, I will be posting them on my Facebook page, The Bohemian Hobbit until all is sold out. I will still be writing about Ascension, Homesteading, Permaculture, my love for Hobbits (well, DUH!), and of course, Spirituality.  But in order for me to write from my heart, you will undoubtedly see the change in my writing.  If you no longer feel comfortable with my writings, know I completely understand and you have every right to go.  I will let you go freely with so much love and admiration, you’ll definitely feel it!!!!

As we begin the week for Valentine’s Day, I find it no coincidence that outside my husband and children, I have fallen madly in love with Jesus and becoming a born-again Christian.  Take that as you will, all I know is that I stand here in witness, to tell you, that I have been changed.  I am changed.  What happened to me, was supernatural.  Was intensely beautiful, and like I said, life – CHANGING.

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And I will pray for the rest of my life this change will not only eventually save me, but will help me walk on a path to save and serve others.

I love you,

Bridget

The Bohemian Hobbit

 

 

Happy New Year and Where I’ve Been…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Okay. So check this out:

Over the course of the last month and the last time I posted something here (yes, you read it, MONTH), I have typed out about 6 blogs. SIX. Not one of them have been posted to my site.

Um, hello? Knock knock? Bridget? Whatcha doing over there?

Yeah. I know. I have been stagnant like 30 day old untreated pool water. Yuck.

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(me pretty much everyday)

What gives? It’s a good question. I appreciate the emails from some of my readers asking me where I was, if I was okay….etc. etc…I could easily tell you I’m fine…life is swell.

Truth is…it’s not. And that’s OKAY!

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(yes, I have been incredibly anti-social lately)

I wish I could be Miss Happy Girl 24/7, and don’t get me wrong, I really DO everything I can to achieve that on a daily basis.

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But, something’s up. And I know what it is. Right now, I’m going to keep it to myself until I feel it is the right time to throw it out for discussion.

There is nothing…and I really mean this…NOTHING, more heartbreaking than having a certain dream of something and knowing full well it is NEVER going to come true. In regards to my life, this goes in two different directions, but with similar things related to the main idea. It sucks. Truly. But having this knowledge does give me a sense of power, because at least I know, I can work around it. Or better yet, FIX IT.

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Over the course of this last month, though, I have been going through the natural stages of grief.  This came with some humbling knowledge that things I thought in my head were a certain way, were in fact, very much the opposite.

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Truth is, the goals I had 10 years ago are nowhere NEAR the goals I have today.  Heck, the goals I had 1 year ago no longer serve me as goal-worthy.  Not because I can’t achieve it; truth be told, you can achieve anything if you set your heart out to it…no, it’s because I no longer care, support,  nor want to be a part of that anymore.

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Kinda of like when you were a kid, and had a certain way of handling your things, or even just living your life, and then one day, you realize you’re no longer a kid, and that your desires are more “grown-up” and the kid-stuff no longer applies to you.

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Here’s the thing:  You don’t have to be going through puberty to understand this philosophy.

As humans, we naturally evolve based on our habitat, culture, and generation we are applied to.  Just as fads and trends change with each passing decade, so do your thoughts, feelings, and ideaology as well.  It’s what makes us such amazing beings.

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Last year, in fact, sometime around this part of the day on December 31st, I sat down in my little apartment and wrote out a piece of paper that had the following things:

GOALS FOR 2015

Continue down the path of authenticity

Write more

Get married

Buy a new house

The good news is, I achieved each one of these very goals.  YAY ME!

The bad news is, I’ve got a LONG way to go….

So, in order to really really achieve my authentic self, my blogging, my marriage, and my new home, I have to make a change.

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I know what this change is.  I feel it so strongly that I opened up to my parents, my husband, one of my Uncles and my best friend. Yeah, I don’t screw around…when making big changes, you don’t want those you are close to to be completely thrown off course.  Believe it or not, even if no one else has a right to dictate how you live, it is always a courtesey to make sure they at least KNOW what you are planning.  The shock value has all but disappeared, therefore creating less drama in your life.

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So, in light of my last blog and the things I’ve experienced the last few months, I’ve decided I’m making only ONE goal this year.  But oh boy, it’s a big one.  Look, I don’t like being a tease, and my readers know that one of the best forms of authenticity is it be as transparent as you can be.  Right now, I have a lot of things I need to think about.  My decisions I make at my age are never made in haste and are NEVER taken lightly.  But the thing is, the result of this goal is going to help continue to achieve the happiness and well-being of all the other goals I’ve ever set on.

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Truly, just writing this all out makes my decisions more real, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to chicken out on making my dreams come true.

No matter how crazy or unbelievable they are.

The last few decisions I made for myself that had the same desire surge from within me was knowing I wanted to marry my husband, buy a house, and walk away from certain people that no longer serve me.  Each one of those things has brought me nothing but blissful peace.

I can do this.  Hell yeah.  I’m so gonna do this!

Much Bohemian Love,

Bridget

Year In Review…Goals for 2016

10307193_1559900494267589_6711902782439770635_nAnyone else thinking this year went super fast?  I mean, I feel like it was just a couple weeks ago I was getting into our SUV after our wedding reception.  That was April.  So much has happened in this last year I cannot even begin to start.  So, instead, I’m just going to plunge right into goals for next year.

As many of you know, I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions.  I think they are truly lofty aspirations that end of not even making it out of the month of January.  People need to stop doing that to themselves!  Instead, make goals.  Instead of making a resolution to START something, make a goal, which is an END result!  That way, you don’t feel pressured into starting at a particular time, and can figure it out as you go along.  So what are my goals for 2016?

Well, I have a few.  And boy, a couple of them are big ones.  I think we should all at least have one big goal for the year, so you don’t feel as if your life is becoming stagnant.  For me, it’s a change.  A major change.  I really can’t go far more into it than that because the change I am considering is going to upset people I know.  And really, I’d rather deal with it when the time actually comes, then deal with the backlash of debate and ridicule from people who claim I would be making a huge mistake, being flighty, and so on.  So, instead, I’m going to talk about the little stuff…

#1.  The Spiral Willow is going to become more active.  I will admit, I’m a little bummed I’ve got a big inventory of really amazing stuff for a decent and competetive price, but yet no one seems to want to buy.  It bums me out when people seek me out for Oracle Readings and Tarot Readings, but since I’ve started requesting donations for my readings, all of a sudden it’s radio silent out there. Makes for a sad hobbit.  So, I will be doing more sale and more incentives, and even considering doing a boxed subscription each month.

#2. I’m going to learn how to play the guitar. (Again).  A few weeks ago my husband came home with all his guitars that have been in storage.  I myself own a guitar but it is too large for me.  I found my husband had a red guitar, a little smaller than the one I own.  I put it in my arms, and it felt RIGHT.  It was as if my fingers were tingling.  So yeah.  Time to re-learn.

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#3. I want to take my kids to New York and Baltimore.  My husband and I talked about this at great length, and we’d really like to find time to get our family to go to these places for the day.  They are not far from our homes and our boys deserve to see a little culture.

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#4.  I want to take a PROPER vacation camping/going to the shore.  Like a whole week off from work.  Not a mini vacation here and there.  I want to wake up every morning and smell the forest air. Walk on the trails.  Read in a hammock.  Swim in the lake or pool.  Like Everyday.

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#5.  I would like to start my Red Tent community.  Please see my page right here for more information.

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#6.  I need my house to be fully unpacked and readied to be lived in.  We’ve been living here since the beginning of October and we haven’t even neared the half way point.  A lot of this has to be with no vacation time left.  So, I am hoping to make a move in getting that done in early 2016.

#7. I plan to create more.  Paint, draw, work with my herbs, forage, create my oils and tinctures, yes, this is the year my creations are going to take more of a hold on this world.

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#8. I plan to meditate more.  Finding alone/quiet time can be difficult, no matter how hard you try.  Even if it’s from your own mind, you can never seem to get out of a certain place without having your mind racing with thoughts.  I want to create a daily ritual where I quiet my mind and just listen to my breath.

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#9. I plan to let go.  I have been holding on to things for so long, it is only habit now I keep holding on.  Not anymore.  So much of my weight is in emotional baggage that people expect me to carry, either because they cannot forgive me for things, or have expectations of me doing penance for the rest of my life for things I did in the past.  I cannot control other people’s emotions, and so, since I’ve been trying to hold on for a modicum of relief in certain relationships, I just know it’s not going to be the case, and I’m going to let go of them.

#10. I’m going to smile every day.  There is no question amongst my friends and family alike that I haven’t been happy with certain things in my life.  Some of these changes that I stated above will result in this #10.  I deserve nothing less than to be the happiest I can be every day.  And damned if I’m not going to try my hardest to achieve that.

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And so, those are my goals.  Have you thought about yours?

Samhain and the Time of No Time…An Earth Spiritualist’s POV…

wheel_of_the_year    Today I was listening to the Starz’ Series Outlander Volume 1 and 2 Soundtrack on my computer and couldn’t help but feel a jolt of excitement.  Samhain is coming up next week, and if anyone has watched the Outlander Series, Claire’s journey begins on the feast of Samhain.  (Mind you, the book is different and shows that her journey begins on Beltane, but I kind of like this change, since Samhain is literally strewn in mystery, which is what time traveling is all about, right?)

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Samhain.  The end and yet the beginning of the Celtic New Year.  Halloween itself started about 1300 years ago in the Celtic Isles, however Samhain has been around much much longer than that.  This Holy Day, was the original holy day of obligation that many today know it as All Saints/All Souls Day.  The ORIGINAL holiday was called Samhain or Samhuinn (pronounced SAH-WHEN).

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(Samhain Ritual and Celebration at Columcille Megalith Park in Bangor, PA 2013 – Photo taken by Sean DeStephano)

So, how can I go from understanding myself as a Galactic Starseed during this Ascension process yet still can resonate with my Earthly bound needs?  Well, for me it’s quite simple.  Our souls are galactically bound to the Heavens, to our Creator.  It’s so vast and so strong and powerful, there is no denying where our souls come from. (at least in my opinion).  However, we are humans of the Earth right now, and we asked to be a part of this planet to learn the lessons our souls need right now.  And there is no doubt, no doubt, in my mind, how connected I am to Mother Earth.

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From gardening, to the Moon, to understanding my body’s wants and needs, and how this is all connected to the core of my humanness, my soul.  See, what many people don’t either understand or care to want to educate themselves on is that these Earth Spirituality faiths were the original religions.  Yes, I know it may come as a shock to many, but these “religions” came before Judiasm, before Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, and so on.  What has happened today is that Jesus’ legacy was severely altered by subjecting those followers to believe that honoring the planet we walk upon should be viewed as “evil”.  Men perversed the Earth religions because it overpowered their own beliefs.  How the written word has literally been changed time and time again over thousands of years.  How sad is that????  Think about it this way:  You decide to start a company.  You begin in the trenches and work your way from the bottom.  Then, something happens…people start buying into your business.  You make enough money and some big investment firm offers you a proposition that you simply could NOT turn way.  You leave your company in the hands of those who never knew what you had to do to get where you are today.  Fast forward 5 years, and everything you originally started the company was no longer there.  The product changed.  The logo changed.  The mission statement changed.  Everything you thought of, dreamed of, was gone.  Why?  Because someone else decided they wanted to make it different.  And all it takes is a little marketing and boom….it’s a new brand.

This is precisely what happened here.  The old religions were shunned aside, making way for something different.  And I mean, come on, let’s look at Christianity.  The teachings Jesus taught.  Do you REALLY think that’s what the church stands for today?  I’m not looking for debate here, I’m not looking to insult anyone’s faith.  In fact, I love Christianity.  Well, the way it WAS, at least.  I live in a way, a Christian life.  I am kind to EVERYONE, even those who have hurt me.  I forgive.  I work hard and am humble. (at least I try to be).  I try to set a good example for my children.  I am loyal.  And I believe EVERYONE is welcome to enjoy the glories of eternal life, no matter WHAT faith you walk by.

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But see, I’m more than that.  I wish you could feel what I feel when I go outside at night and look up at the Moon.  Or when I light some incense and close my eyes and think about how I can be a better person in life.  Or a take a set of cards and lay them out, trying to find out what I need to do to work on myself.  Or when I stand in front of a table, with statues or pictures of people I love and honor, and pray to help me here in life.  Now, let me ask you:  Do I sound like a person who is evil?  Do you think I am playing with fire?  Because that’s truly what people think.    I’ve learned to let it go, no matter how much it breaks my heart.  But my love of this planet, my creator, and everyone around it is MORE important than a few people who think I am damned to eternal fires.  It just has to be this way.

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(The Moon from our deck just now)

This coming weekend I will be spending a quiet evening with a couple of people I am incredibly close to.  My next of kin outside my own blood family.  And we will be honoring those who have passed on, especially those in the last year.  I have a list of friend’s relatives, family and friends who have been asked to be put on my special intentions list, and we will be remembering them that evening.  I will call them to join us for dinner, and to stay with us in deep and spiritual meditation, reminding them how much they were loved here, and how they will never be forgotten.  In Latin communities, they call it Dia De Los Muertos.  In Christian communities, they call it All Saints/All Souls Day.  Again, let me ask you, why is it okay for those in those communities to do what I do, yet what I do is evil?  Asking people to let down their guard, as well as their egos, can be quite a challenge.  But I always welcome this conversation, because I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they believe in.  And as long as they respect me the way I respect them, we will live in more harmony.

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(Ritual of Dia De Los Muertos in Mexico)

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(Catholic Cemetery honoring All Souls Day in Bangladesh)

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(Traditional Altar honoring the ancestors at Samhain)

Samhain is a time of reflection, a time where we go into a void until the Winter Solstice, which is the beginning of Yule, the welcoming back of the sun, or in Christian communities, the Son.  I love this time of year, because it is an amazing experience to really go inward, and let go of your ego, and you realize what true humility is like.  It’s precious, and I take advantage of every moment I have in reflective solitude.

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I am going to begin doing classes for those who are interested in my path.  I look forward to helping people on their path, whether it is along my side, or on a different road.  Either way, I will always be there for those who need me.

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Another great thing about the next several weeks of being in “no time”, is in that reflection, I will find more time for my art.  My art in writing, painting, drawing, and other crafts.  If you are interested in a painting or drawing or anything of that matter, please let me know.  I have found my best work, albeit in my poetry and artwork, always comes between November and the first 3 weeks of December.  My inspiration?  The skies at Sunset.  Trust me when I say they are extraordinary.

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(December 2013 Sunset near Appalachian Mountains)

Will you be participating in anything honoring your ancestors this week?  If so, how?  I love to hear about what everyone is going to be doing.

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(Photo:  Joe Conlon)

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The Ascension Series: The Good and Bad Symptoms…

Usually I steer off onto different subjects whenever I am blogging, but right now it seems I am being called to continue my talks on Ascension and Awakening Symptoms that I know many people are going through. This past weekend was no exception. So, I’m going to indulge in some things that if you catch on to what I’m saying, great! If not no biggie, I really don’t want to throw out this big announcement before everything has been finalized. So, I ask you all for a little latitude in how I am writing right now. (yes, I’m going to be throwing in some clues in this post without giving it away, so if you catch it, wonderful – you know my secret news I am hoping to tell the world in the next few weeks).

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(Some photos from our mini-holiday in Ocean City, NJ)

There are days in which I receive a DNA Activation/Ascension Symptom that can be insanely euphoric. Over the last several months my life alone has had its share of ups and downs, and although so many were amazing “ups”, there were plenty of “downs” that literally sent me into a downward spiral. It’s funny, the more I think about it, it’s been almost manic and maybe I HAVE been displaying symptoms of Bi-Polar disorder, as my former doctor tried to tell me. I refused to believe him, to the point I left his practice, after being there from the time I was 13. He wanted me to take a drug called Seraquil, which quite frankly I took for all of 2 days and hopped off of it immediately because I felt I was literally going crazy. Realizing now that this is not a matter-of-fact issue regarding my human-ness, but rather this pertains to my soul-ness. And sadly, no doctor will listen to you if you come to them and say “I’m going through the Ascension process!” HA! That sounds crazy-legit, and even I know not to go to the doctor with that kind of mentality. No, I have found that my basic issues I have as a human are good for going to the doctor, and the bigger stuff, well, I feel a higher calling is a little more qualified for the job.

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So, many people know when going through the Ascension process your emotions are truly off the charts. I tip my hat to my sweet husband, who sometimes hasn’t a clue what to do with me when I am having an intensified activation or just an overall difficult time with a particular symptom I am dealing with at the moment. It’s not fair to him, and I feel terrible about it. When you see what I see, and feel what I feel (which I know many can agree with me here), it can be incredibly difficult to get your partner to understand what you are going through, especially if they themselves are not fully awakened. The process can be heavenly and equally hellish.

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(The Eye of the Bohemian Hobbit – awake)

Okay, so the good symptoms? I’m going to give you some brief ideas of some of the good symptoms. Mind you-I might be alone in some of these, and others will find many who might be able to resonate. Each human is on their own separate journey, but some of us are working together currently in each other’s lives, and so on and so on…There are times, and this has happened while I was driving, eating lunch, surfing the internet, or even just sitting alone in my bedroom, and something inside me starts to stir. The only way I can describe it is the butterfly effect. That feeling of euphoria, happy jitters, the kind you feel when you are falling in love, or winning the lottery, or finding out a seller agreed to your offer on a house, or getting ready to walk down the aisle. So, what is happening if you aren’t experiencing the things I stated above, yet your body is reacting that way? Well, for me it was little things. The way the sky looked, or glancing at the clock with numbers like 1111, or hearing a song or sound that somehow made you feel like you were having some brilliant out of body experience. This weekend I had an activation. I was priviledged to go on a mini-holiday with my parents, husband and sons to the coast. My parents rented a house right on the beach, and I hadn’t been at a beach front house since I was a teenager. I had the chance to sit by myself on the porch at sunset, facing the ocean.  I can’t even explain how extraordinary it was. To be able to sit there, listen to the tides, watch the moon rise, and see the stars come out in their glistening glory. I felt myself starting to get emotional, as if realizing how truly small we are in this universe. That we have to be such an arrogant species to think we are alone here. And I felt a longing all of a sudden, that like my vacation home, Earth was a place I was just “visiting”. That in reality, my home wasn’t here, it was somewhere out “there”. And I felt…magical. I closed my eyes and this energy came around me I hadn’t felt in my body before, yet it wasn’t UNFAMILIAR. Like someone I hadn’t seen in a long while had come up from behind me to give me a great big bear hug. It was comforting. I felt my chest open up, as if all the organs in the front part of my torso were being exposed. I felt free and light, like I could be easily swept up from that porch and into the night sky to dance with the heavens around me. It was an amazing experience.

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(Photo courtesy of Land of Euphoria on Tumblr)

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Now, the not-so-good symptoms. These can be horrific. They come as demons in the night, shouting at you, making you believe your ego is making you think of these things, that you are not loved, that you are not special. And the rage inside of me becomes so suppressive I feel like I’m going to burst. When we got home from our holiday yesterday, I experienced this one particular symptom, and the victim of this was my husband, who watches over me when I go through this process. All of a sudden, I felt alone, afraid, lonely, shut down, like everything that is happening to me is just an illusion. Maybe I have been just making it up? Maybe the world is really evil? Maybe I am truly mental? Going through these moments can be terrifying. My husband knows exactly when I am going through these motions, because things like clutter and a messy room, especially with our beginning to pack our boxes again, although on a normal basis I really don’t like, but sometimes, something as simple as a sock on the floor will put me in a place of utter despair. And I feel there is no hope. I know; sounds manic, right? Truth is I’m not upset with the sock, or the clutter. I’m upset because I know deep inside of me there’s more going on and my physical 3D body can’t experience it. Take for instance a great scene from the Kevin Smith movie Dogma. Alan Rickman’s character as the Seraphim Metatron, when he stated, “Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the AWESOME power of God’s true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out…”

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Hahahaha,so true. It’s why we’re here and why we feel separated from God. That’s part of our journey. To find out in the end that we never really separated from God in the first place! Sadly, our 3D bodies cannot understand what our souls already know. So, it’s literally like the battle between heaven and hell, with heaven being our souls and hell being the physical body it lives in. Religion likes to play a stake in this game we call life with crowd control and blind faith. But, we are capable of so much more in this world! It is sadly our minds that keep us thinking of how limited we are, and it is the very thing that keeps us from ascending in the first place. So yes, the hard part of ascension is the release of the ego. God is the IAM of the soul, the Ego is the IAM of the body. Since God is our creator, the Ego has really no power. Yet, we allow our Ego to have it. So, why wouldn’t our process of Ascension be difficult? Almost like blind faith, but it isn’t. Because our souls know all the answers to the universe. This is why I don’t believe in a “devil” or “Hell” after death from this life. I believe the devil and our ego/pride are equals, and the life we make from our ego and pride is the very essence of hell. We can overcome this, however, through the process of Ascension.

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(Photos courtesy of Matheusw and My Sweetest Darkness on Tumblr)

Right now through the end of this year, the Ascension process is being kicked up a notch for many people, myself included. Expect a LOT more of these things to happen in the coming months, especially September and October. We are going through many shifts in the universal planes, and because of this, our souls are being alerted, like a sleep alarm clock going off, letting us know it’s time to wake up.

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Will you get up or will you continue to hit that snooze button?

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