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The Demon Within…

One of the biggest things I deal with during this particular time of the year is the big D.  Most people know what I speak of, and I’m sure many of you are sitting on the other side of your computer nodding in complete and utter understanding.

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Depression, as many know, is when a chemical imbalance in our brains result in a disruption of some-sort, creating a sort of chaos in our bodies that causes hopelessness. Most times, depression is the result of a tragedy a person experiences, whether it be a death, break-up, or any of loss of “something”….Sometimes, in my case, it could be just a simple explanation of the weather 5 feet from me.  It is one of my biggest struggles I face with in life, and every year I pray and pray that somewhere, somehow, this feeling of sadness would end.

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So, let’s talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)….

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It goes without saying that everyone, both of human and animal alike, NEED sunlight.  The vitamins coming from the sun gives off so much energy and a pulse of life itself, there is no wonder why people love to “Sun bathe”.  Sadly, for me, I’m a Celt by blood.  A mixture of Irish, English, Scottish, and German.  So, putting my pasty self outside for more than a few moments will cause my skin to scream.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t love to be out in the sun.  It’s why I am a morning person, so to speak…(I say that because during the Monday-Friday deal, I’m not really worth talking to in the morning, but that’s a whole other story LOL)

In the Northern Hemisphere, at the time of Litha, otherwise known as Midsummer or the Summer Solstice, the Sun is at his prime, beaming down with such veracity, it even finds the shadiest of places.  But sadly, after that prime day of days, the Sun begins its fall.  And within 6 months, the Sun, although still shining, does not have the luster and awe that we had just a few months before.  For many people, this time is the beginning of Winter.  And we start our slow climb back to the manifestation of the gifts the Sun gives us in the Spring and Summer.

So, during the time after the holiday and New Year season ends, there is a period of silence.  Nothing really happens until the next little break, which is Valentine’s Day.  And then, after that, is the Spring Equinox, Ostara, or as many know it to be, Easter.

What do we do during this period?  Well, for me, I kind of go crazy and start cleaning and regrouping my life, creating goals for the warmer weather to come, all while taking care of my mind, body and soul, who is sadly ill-at-ease over the lack of warm sunlight, growth and overall life.

It’s why I love living myself according to the Celtic Seasonal Calendar.  It makes sense for me, because I always was like a month early to prepare for each season/holiday.  In just a few weeks, MY Winter will be over.  On February 1st, I celebrate the feast day of St. Bridget, who holds the keys of the kingdom for my favorite Season: Spring.

February 1st in the Celtic Calendar is the Season of Imbolc (Pronounced IMM-OLCK).  It is the beginning of the Springtime, the time where our Mother Earth is stirring and beginning her slow process of “waking up”.  Just as we, each morning, open our eyes, stretch our arms and legs, and get reacquainted with the morning and the light, so does Mother Earth.  The soil, through its Winter hibernation, begins to warm up, allowing the seeds within the soil to take heed and blossom.  One of the greatest gifts we can get in the Early Springtime are Crocuses.  They are Mother Nature’s quiet little trumpets, usually peeking up within the snow and cold ground, alerting us all that warm weather IS coming back.  That is the beauty of this planet.  Of where I live.  We know Spring follows Winter.  It’s how life is.

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So, what do I do in the meantime?  Even as I type this out, on this lazy Sunday morning, I feel sad.  Sad because going outside would require me to bundle up because the air is SO cold, it would actually hurt my skin.  Make my eyes water.  Even the “smell” of life, is not there.

What makes me gaga over being outside?  Feeling the grass beneath my bare feet.  Smelling the seasonal flowers breezing through the air.  Seeing the magnificent trees, shrubs and bushes blossom with beautiful green leaves…In the Celtic myths, Autumn and Winter meant Jack Frost was out and about, dropping hints of frost and ice among everything alive, telling them it’s time to die or go to sleep….In the Spring and Summer Months, Jack in the Green is our go-to guy.  He is the one who warms the skies and the Earth, and instead of frost, we have beautiful droppings of dew.

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(one of MANY Jack in the Green Parades held every year in Europe)

This is what makes my pulse quicken, my heart smile and my soul beam.  Warmth, light….like Persephone feeling so out of touch down in the Underworld, where she could not use her Gift with the Living World, and patiently waited until it was time for her to go back up, and be among the Living again, to feel the warmth of the Sun on her skin…Yes, I feel the exact same way.

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Since going off all Depression and Anxiety medicine, and opting for my Kratom intake, I can honestly say it hasn’t been TOO smooth sailing.  Of course it would be easy for me to put some chemicals into my body and numb myself…but it would be a disservice to me to do so.  I know not everyone agrees with me on that.  I always welcome other’s opinions and ideas…it’s just…it’s not for me.  I’ve been very careful over the last several years to deal with my addiction to pain killers…and for someone like me who is always in some kind of pain, it’s an easy excuse for me to pop a pill and call it a day.

No, as much as times like these where I wish I had something to numb my physical and emotional pain of the Winter, I know that in the end, it helps me SEE who I really am, because I am completely bare and open to the senses entirely.  I feel things now more than I ever have.  So, yes, the depression sucks.  But I also know, that there are times I feel such immense joy, that knowing I wouldn’t even feel an inch of that when trying to control my depression with medicine, gives me the honest knowing that I’m doing the right thing.

Don’t get me wrong:  I think about taking something every day.  Even right now, I feel incredibly blue (Get it?  Winter “blues”?) and staring at the walls may be what I need right now to numb the sadness of the lack of life outside….

This depression began in 2001.  And slowly progressed as the years went on…Now that I am in the beginning stages of my body slowing down and turning into the Crone, I feel this even more.

How do I deal with it?  It’s a demon inside of me I deal with every day between Thanksgiving and about Mid-March.  For some people it’s less time, and for others, it’s more.  It feels like the Postpartum depression I had for the first 4 weeks after my son’s birth.  It begins as a nagging feeling, that turns into a feeling of dread.  Dread?  Yup, dread.  It overtakes me like a demon overtakes a human…I cry at everything and anything, I sleep more, I stare more, and I tend to lash out more.  My husband, sons, parents, sisters and closest friends know it the depression talking.  The know this silly little hobbit doesn’t usually act like this, and know how to approach me during my times of struggle.  They know and respect the fact I don’t want chemicals in my body.  They are patient and kind, and allow me the time and patience I need for myself to understand how my body reacts to this rough season.

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(seriously, whoever created these are a GENIUS)

Kratom certainly helps, but, it is just a band aid.  It does NOT take away the full feelings.  But it does lessen the load.  And the best part?  It does not numb me.  If there could be anything that I hate, it is the numbness of my body, mind and soul.  To lose the essence of your life just because there’s a period of time each year where I feel sad, it’s just not enough for me to make that kind of decision.  That’s not for me to judge anyone who DOES.

So, for the next few weeks, I will be quietly tinkering away at my new home.  Putting things in their place, and dealing with the sadness I not only feel for the cold months, but for other things I cannot control.  It’s a continued lesson in humility, and I love that I’m always up for the challenge, no matter how tired and sad I’m feeling at the moment.

What makes me happy during the colder months?

  • Music – Usually Celtic/Irish/Scottish music, 80’s Pop, and some Sacred World music, from either Lisa Thiel, Snatnam Kaur, or Spiral Dance
  • Painting – I am still trying to find my easle, but the moment I do, I’m off!
  • Festivals – There is an amazing Scottish and Irish Festival that happens in February, and it truly lifts up my spirits EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
  • Garden Planning – For the first time since 2007, I will have my own garden again.  Planning it has definitely helped tremendously during this time.
  • Snuggles – My boys know all these need to do is snuggle up to me, it will bring a big smile.  I love my family.
  • Cleaning – I tend to light A LOT of incense that smells of lavender, jasmine, and other springy smells…as well as light lots of candles…and the smell of Pine Sol?  OMG Don’t go there with me…it’s like heaven haha!
  • Ritual – if there is anything I love to do, is to be in ritual with myself.  That time you give to yourself, whether it is meditating, chanting, praying, or even something simple like taking a nice, warm bath…yes, it helps a great deal.

I know there are probably more, but these are the big ones.  Tell me about what you do!  I am always looking for suggestions.

Lots of Hobbit Love,

Bridget

 

The Ascension Series: A Download of a Moment In Between Lives…

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Sometimes it hits me like a mac truck, other times, it comes flowing gently like a sea breeze…

The dreams and feelings are coming back. It’s been a couple months since I wrote about Ascension. But, today these feelings, that can go so deep into my body, are coming back and back in full force. Sometimes, all it takes is a song, a picture, or something my body seems to react to, before I get a download of information from those outside our physical realm. Yes, I do a lot of channeling but do not talk about it because it took many years for me to realize it wasn’t my own ego. Today I saw this picture:

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And immediately my body started to tingle and tears welled up in my eyes. I immediately became what many would view as homesickness.

I didn’t ask for this. I never wanted to be like this. To have these abilities. I can’t even begin to start the bullying I get for who I am. I’m no one special, and yet I am very special. I wish I could make this go away sometimes and just be “normal”, whatever that definition truly represents. It’s bad enough there are people in my life that think I am a complete whackadoodle, but I also know that if I continue to keep these thoughts, these ideas, these feelings, deep within me, I will eventually implode.

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But then, I look at pictures, listen to certain music, and my heart opens up SO wide that fear strikes almost immediately that people will take that vulnerability and attack it with full force.

Someone once said that it would be pretty arrogant of us to think that out of all in the universe, WE are the only beings that live within it.  Even with NASA and other scientists around the world who are finally coming out to admit there IS life outside this planet, people STILL don’t believe it.

Here’s a bit of a fun thought:  Most of us in this world do not originate from Earth. I know that’s hard for people to comprehend. Because right now, at this very moment, this is all we know. Earth is all we know. But so many of us have experienced so many lifetimes on this planet, as well as other planets and universes, that it would be too much for our minds to take in all at once. It’s why we reincarnate. It’s why we have Akashic Records. Between lives, we have the ability to sit down and go over all of our lives, check patterns and see what areas in our soul’s evolution do we still need to work on.

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For me, it’s forgiveness on both sides of the coin. It is truly one of my greatest challenges. So, this life I am leading now I have been challenged literally in all areas of forgiveness from the time I was very little. To learn about forgiving someone and to be forgiven. I have surrendered myself to let things happen as they come. And learn from every one of my mistakes, whether they were self-inflicted or done unto me.

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Right now, I have a home sickness for a place my Earth life cannot remember. I see a vast city, full of white buildings. Crystalline palaces and roads that were so iridescent that one would think you could see right through them. Colors our earthly eyes cannot understand. Plants and trees no one has ever imagined. The air is so pure it is intoxicating to our lungs. Now, some people would call this “Heaven.” And you know, maybe it is! I don’t know. All I know is that it is my home. And right now my heart and soul is longing to be there.

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Now, before people get freaked out…No, I am NOT insinuating I am depressed, suicidal, or anything of that matter. All I am stating is that my soul is continuing its ascension process and every once in a while I get a jolt of something that brings me to a new level. Right now, I just hit a new one. Lately, these jolts have been somewhat painful. But this one…Oh this one, is lovely. It helps me remember why I love Earth so much. Why I love gardening so much. I realized earlier that in this other world, I worked in the agriculture area, as a gardener and animal care taker. I live on the outskirts of this city, near water and forests of such lush, green beauty that I can almost taste it!

You want to take a walk with me in this? Read on as the download commences…

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There is some sort of platform on the edge of this world, where ships of all kinds land. It helps keep the atmosphere of the world at peak levels. There are waterfalls all around this landing area to help ionize the chemicals that may come into the atmosphere. There are very little stairs in this world, as most of the places higher up have ramps. Getting off the ship and onto the base itself is quite simple. However the trek to the city is where the world is going to be at. Mainly because there are very little vehicles allowed in this world for travel, so most people travel by foot, or if you have the flight ability, float or fly. I have a small ability towards flight, but I don’t use it much, so I find myself walking mostly. The road to the city is amazing. Tall trees that look Willows but have the bark of Birch line the forests. Animals are everywhere, and are kind to the beings of this planet. All the animals on this planet are Herbivores. The clothes I am wearing are a bluish/grayish/purplish in nature, and I am wearing pants, a shirt and a long coat/robe over it. I have grayish boots on with material that resembles sheep wool. The air smells of jasmine, so I must assume it is Springtime. I do know that this world experiences mostly Spring, Summer and Autumn. The Winter is dry and cold, but unlike the freezing temperatures the Northeast of the US gets. Most of the time the weather is quite pleasant, with very little rain. Yet the plants continue to thrive, mainly because of a hydro/aquaponics technique that flows underground with the rivers and oceans on the planet. So, the plants get their water from underground.

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After walking a couple hours I come to a clearing, where there is a massive marble wall that lines the city limits. I know I am close to home. I veer off to the left, which is where my home is. I can see it from here, down into the valley, the grass is like a Kelley green. I can see the goats from where I am standing, and some are coming towards me, as they recognize who I am. Yes, I am a goat farmer. (which makes me understand my love of goat cheese on Earth). I live with about 14 people, mainly family members, spread out on a ranch that is not like the ranches we see in the US. No, the buildings of my ranch are 1 floor, very long and wide. There are no windows, mainly because there is very little wind ever. The ranch itself is very open. It’s made of white stone, which almost resembles a white adobe, only much larger. I live on the Southeast end of the city, right inside the entrance.

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The last time I was home, there were only about 5-6 people living there, as the others were incarnated in other lives. I can sense the excitement inside of me, because I know I am home and never want to leave.

The last time I was home, my grandparents were there, along with a couple cousins, my brother and an Aunt. No, I need to be frank here, when I say family, and I mention them here, they are not the same as the Earth family I have. Yes, I do know that some of my Earth family here are also my soul family, but most of them are not. They are familiars from the city, while others are not from my planet.

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My brother is the first to see me, and rushes outside to greet me. He was preparing to go deep into the city to do some bartering, and I decided to go with him. No one else was home at the time, as my family was out and about, so we set out to go into the city. I can see how tall and elongated the buildings are. There is music in the air, yet I do not know where it is coming. It’s sounds angelic and yet electronic in nature. There are parks, houses and neighborhoods all around. It’s like everything is glistening, yet there was no rain. The air is different when you get deeper into the city, as one can feel the excitement as you near the center. It smells like incense almost, like you are near a church, even though there are NO churches on my planet. This I do remember. I look off to the right and see my school. Yes, part of my coming back also means I need to go back to school. I know that the next day I am to meet with my guides and leaders to discuss my previous life, find out where I went right, where I went wrong, what do I see for the next incarnation, and the lessons I need help in. I am an older soul, so I do know that my schooling is coming to an end soon. I do know I am helping out the guides with the newer/younger souls. The younger souls tend to come back quickly because so many of them choose suicide in their life because they do not understand how to handle the stressful situations that a physical life comes with.

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I am beginning to see familiar faces. Some that I feel I haven’t seen in a millennia. There is so much love that surrounds the air itself you could almost see it. It almost reminds me of a busy spring afternoon in New York’s Central Park. People are laying around in the grass on blankets, some playing music, some in the depths of conversation, some reading a book. The activity in the city is electric, yet soothing. This definitely resonates with me, due to the fact I have an equal love for living in the city and living in the country, and here on Earth never understood why I loved the city when I never lived in one.

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We come to a building, which is the bartering center. There are stalls lined up of people with all their works, whether it is food, art, building supplies, you name it, it’s there. It’s a massive center, yet it feels so welcoming walking into it. The clothes most people are wearing are mutes tones of blue, gray, white, green, and purple. Most people are in pants, with those in long dress-like clothes are the teachers and spiritual guides/mentors. Everyone is so happy and friendly. There is very little animosity or issues that go on here. There is never any tension between people, and for those that are, are newer/younger souls that may be in the throes of new education.

There is so much light but you cannot see a particular “sun”. It never truly turns dark, as even in the depth of night, it only gets dark enough to look like dusk on a summer’s eve. The sky turns purple and there are so many stars in the sky it would be impossible to count.

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There is so much to do in the city. There are restaurants, grocery stores, libraries, schools, music clubs, and so on. There seem to be celebrations always going on for one reason or another. While my brother is speaking to one of the merchants, I walk around the city in amazement, listening to the music coming from somewhere, watching some people dance in the park, etc…

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There is no time here. Sure, there is day and night, but not like the clock time we deal with here on earth. There are never set schedules, even though you know to be somewhere when you need to be there. I know this because tomorrow I am going back to school and meeting with my mentors to talk about my life. I get to go to my Akashic Records Room and go over patterns of this past life and the ones before. My goal is to spend a little more time here than last time, as I reincarnated fairly quickly between lives the last time. It may explain the troubles I continually faced in my last life. But for now, my first day back, I rest easy. I look up into the clear blue sky and watch the ships pass over.

And that’s it. That’s all that came to me.

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The Ascension Series: My Thoughts on Heaven…

JOYWhat I’m about to speak of is a very delicate subject for many people.  In fact, on my personal Facebook page this morning I posted a video narrated by the great Alan Watts who gives a great explanation on the subject.  I can only hope that after I’m through, some of you will feel better and more at ease about something we all have to experience one day.

Death.

Someone last week asked me a very cool question. “What do you think Heaven is like?”

Now, this may come as a shock to my readers, as most of my posts on Facebook are beautiful inspirational memes and such, as I love to look at the positive side of things. And trust me, I do. But when it comes to Heaven, it is a never ending subject on my mind. I think about death ALL. THE. TIME. Not because I’m scared of it. I learned long ago not to be scared of death. I think if I have the fear of anything, it’s the “transition” from this life into the next.   I’ve been in the presence of people who have passed on, and believe me, it is a beautiful moment. To go from living in a life of pain, worry, fear and such, to moving into a state of relentless bliss, love, and contentment, is something I crave to know on a daily basis, and yet I am somewhat scared but excited at the same time when that time comes.

So, this blog today is going to be what I think Heaven is like. I hope you are able to picture what I picture in my dreams every night. So let’s start from the transition:

Most people who experience NDR (Near Death Experiences) have the same thing happen, so for the sake of argument we’re going to use this as a beginning stage: They are floating over their body, feeling a magnetic pull of some sort to go up. When you feel that magnetic pull, you know it’s time to move. Allow your spirit to be taken on up on its own. Feel the pull and allow yourself to move with it. I believe that going towards that “light” that most people see is the tunneling effect. You are riding on waves of pure love energy, if you could physically see it, waves of beautiful rainbow-like waves in the ocean.

When I was 1 year old, I was very ill.  In fact, I’m going to be pretty straightforward when I tell you I almost died.  Do I remember being sick?  Nope.  But I do remember things many other people might not be able to justify.  Warmth, light, unicorns, angels, and a great meadow where I remember laying in the grass.  Could this been a NDR?  Possibly.  In fact, I truly believe each and every one of us has been there in one way or another.  Now as a grown adult woman, I have learned the art of Astral traveling, which is a form of the soul leaving the body , but still tethered to the physical body so I don’t pass on.  It is an amazing tool to understand how amazing human beings are, and how we are gifted with SO many things, yet most of us only tap into 1% of these gifts.

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Anyway, back to the tunnel.  I then find myself in a room of all white, far as my old human eyes can see (mind you, I am no longer a body, but pure light, however my old consciousness still depicts me as having a body). In this room is where I meet my guardian angels and guides, who greet me with enthusiastic abundance. Some of these guides are going to be people I know. I know if I were to die right now, two people would come to greet me immediately: My first boyfriend, Tracy, and my Mom-Mom. I am hoping that number will increase as I get older. Jesus and Mary will be there, and as a sister and daughter, I will run into their arms in pure joy.

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While I am talking with everyone and getting reacquainted with spirit life again, I see the room as turned into a grand meadow, surrounded by lush grass, trees and flowers of all sorts. The weather is bright, mild, with a beautiful breeze that allows the fragrances of the flowers to whirl throughout the air. This is where I am going to see all my old family and friends who have passed on before me. I can only imagine the type of reunion that is going to be. I am going to meet my child who died inside of me 9 weeks into my second pregnancy. Life, as I know it, is in a perfect state of bliss. There is a light that surrounds all of us and the area around, but I cannot find the sun. It is because Heaven is nothing but pure light.

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Before long, my guides tell me I need to go do my Life Review. For many people, this is usually suggested as being judged at the Pearly Gates. I no longer believe in that. I do know we have to do our Life review, and understand and come to terms with all the good AND bad things we did in our last life. This is where I am taken to my Akashic Records Room. Each one of us has our own place where our Akashic Records (a collection of every life we’ve ever lived, otherwise known as the Big Book of Life). Many years ago I did a meditation where I visited my Akashic Records, and it was amazing where I was taken to. Come walk with me into my Akashic Records….

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My guides and I are standing on a beach on the coast of where that meadow that we’ve been standing on has been. It is beginning to fall into nighttime, but the night sky is still very bright, almost purplish pink, with millions of stars. On either side my guides help me rise up into the air, where we begin to glid through the air and over the vast ocean of knowledge. We are traveling to my personal Akashic Records. Before long I can see the coast, and it is a lush and vibrant green, unlike any green we has seen on earth. Fields of magnificent willow trees and flowers adorn the countryside. In the center of this area lies a gigantic castle-like building, and all of a sudden I begin to remember that this is where my Book of Life resides. This is where I go when I leave for a new life, and this is where I come back to review it. Home base. My soul’s place of establishment. We come to the ground, and I begin to walk up the stone stairs. I still can’t believe there are just so many flowers! We come to the door, two gigantic purple wooden doors with a great lock that only I can unlock. My energy touches the door, and it unlocks and opens up. We all begin to walk inside the building when we see everything in there begin to lighten up as our spirits enter. I look up and see beautiful paintings of all my previous lives I’ve lives, going back thousands and thousands of years. Helping me understand why I had so many deja vou occurances during this last life. We forget that many of us have souls that have been here for eons. I know I am no exception. Although not as old as others (like my son, Timmy or godson, Brandon), I am still and old soul.


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In the center of the floor lies a spiral stone staircase that spirals down to a lower level, and I begin my descent. I come to another door, and again I use my soul’s energy to allow entrance into it. As I walk inside, I can smell the wood and paper from all the shelves and books that line what looks to be a grand library. Looking around on the shelves I see ornaments and souveniers that my memories brought with me after death, to transform into matter here. To help me remember what I loved most. Pictures, toys, books, jewelry, music, so much all over the shelves and walls, it brings a smile to my face how many lives I’ve lived. But my focus is cut short when I feel the energy of God coming through. I turn to the door and my guides split like the Red Sea, allow a massive violet-like energy to enter. I know it is the essence of God in it’s beautiful form coming to me to do my Life Review. I take my seat in front of a desk, that even though this was my own, I was not in charge of this moment. Within moments, a gigantic book appears on the desk, almost metallic in its finishing. It sparkles like diamonds in the sunlight. God opens this book and there it is. The life of Bridget Ann Mulhall. I all of a sudden am given memories of every lie I told, everything I ever stole, cheated on, berated, judged, hurt. This is such an important step in the Life Review, because you need to know if you have done enough good Karma that would outweigh the bad. We look at the original contract of my life, and talk about any amendments that happen within it afterwards. We look upon then all the good I’ve done. The people I’ve helped, the sacrifices I made. And like the scales of justice, we weigh in what my life really was about.

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At this point, I would say I’ve paid off most of my Karma in this life. But definitely not all of it. God looks at me and (hopefully) says, “Bridget, you led a decent life, despite your setbacks. You must cleanse yourself of the rest of the Karma you have, then feel free to go on as you wish.” This would give me the opportunity to start a new life, and stay in the Heavens. I do believe I am close to finishing my Earth contract, so I am thinking I would not be reborn again. Or if I would, I will have very few lives left. Knowing that God knows I am truly sorry for all the wrong I’ve ever caused, directly or indirectly, God sends me to a place to cleanse my soul. To me, some people go immediately there after dying, because there might be just too much darkness covering their soul, and need to get it cleansed before even getting to their Life Review. But, for me, I can only HOPE I’ve done enough good in this life to warrant a gentle cleanse! (don’t we all). I honestly do not know the amount of work needed to cleanse the rest of your soul, but I would like to think we would have to work, and work hard, to realign our soul back to its original brightness.

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Once that is completed, I am able to walk into the gates of the great city. Newly covered in a beautiful white robe/tunic, I begin my journey into a great gate that is enclosed with a massive white wall engulfing the city itself. But the doors open, and I can smell the citrus in the air, and the scent of flowers that tingle my toes. And it is a great city. Beautiful architecture that our Earth cannot comprehend, waters iridescent and glowing, colors no human can truly understand. Everything is just so bright and happy. People are reuniting. Families are together again. I find my family. My SOUL family. They are waiting for me and I run to them, as I can recognize them from afar. I feel them all sweep me up in a sense of such love no human could consume it without imploding. Feeling home again, I reacquaint myself with my surroundings again, as they take me back to my home. Yes, I have a home in the city. To me, the great city is a cross between Rivendell, Lothlorien and The Shire. Everything is in its natural state, and positively perfect.   I can hear music but I don’t know where it’s coming from. It is as if the air itself has its own melody. And just like every city there are restaurants, stores, and other places of trade. Yet there is no monetary commerce. Everything is on a volunteer/helping/trade basis. And it works perfectly. Some people call this great city the astral city, or one of the first of the many heavens. It’s where most people go after they die. And right now, it’s where I want to be, before I decide on my next journey.

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What do I see my soul doing now that it is no longer a physical being living on Earth? I’d like to think I would go back to school and understand where I screwed up and how I can better myself in the next life, should I choose to go back. I’d like to visit other Heavenly Realms and seek the wisdom and guidance of the Ascended Masters, like St. Germain. I’d like to have the opportunity to fly down at night to Earth and quickly visit my loved ones I have left, and let them know I’m still there and still loving them. Speaking of flying, that’s what I cannot WAIT to do. To fly again. I have many dreams that involve water and flying. It’s incredible, really. I’ve always dreamt of flying high in the skies from sunset to sunrise. If I ever had a soundtrack or theme song for that outing it would be “Walking In The Air” by Chloe Agnew from Celtic Woman. But something about having the freedom a bird has and flying around, feeling the breeze hit you, knowing you are fully safe, is something I long for.

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I’d like to think right now I am somewhere in the midst of my ascension process, and that when my life is over here on Earth I would be able to ascend to a new dimension and help those who need it. Walking away from “religion” and instead finding that Oneness with God on my terms has been without a doubt, blissful. To be in Communion with God on a daily basis instead of feeling I have to perform a weekend obligatory ritual with Mass, is more peaceful. But don’t get me wrong: I would never mock someone who has found their life and relationship with God in the Church. Never take advantage of when you find your caller to our Creator. This is my calling. So, I no longer fear death. I no longer fear the unknown, because the Creator is in my life at all times, and that’s all I need. It’s why I dream so vividly about Heaven! The Summerlands, the Undying Lands, whatever you want to call Heaven, is majestic in just a thought…can you only imagine actually BEING there? And we were! At one point, we were there. And sooner or later, we will be going back home again.

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What does YOUR Heaven look like?

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Learning the Truth And All That Follows…

christian-meditationIt’s been a crazy year so far!  Yikes!  From getting this wedding planning done and getting Scott and I up to the altar, to going out today to look at 4 more houses, sigh….so much going on I don’t have time to think sometimes.  Thankfully I have family and friends to call on me to check up on me to see how we’re holding out, it’s nice to take that break and listen to what’s going on outside my own inner world. Over the last month or so, I have found that the same conversations I’ve been having with people seem to have a revolving theme:  TRUTH.  And what a powerful time to be having these discussions, during this time of reflection.  One doesn’t have to be a practicing Christian to understand the power of Lent, and contemplating life and the world around you.  It’s only natural, and I suggest if you have the urge, do it.  Meditate, and contemplate your life.

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If there is something that people are most afraid of, it’s this:  The truth.  Truth can take a quiet and simple life, and rock it to its very foundation.  Truth can change everything.  And these changes can be painful if you’re learning the truth after living a lie, or at least living your life deep within lies.  I’ve been there, and it’s NOT a fun time to have to accept truth, and pick up the pieces from the destruction that the truth can bring.  But you want to live the truth, right?  If you LIVE in truth, there will NEVER be destruction.  Truth gives you freedom, truth gives life.  Lies can only hold you for so long, until the universe comes back, like the tides in the oceans.  After living in deceit, truth comes like a tsunami in the night, hitting you unexpectedly and with such force you can’t get up to breathe. 

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I live in truth every day, even if it means not having relationships with people I love.  When you associate yourself with people who choose to believe lies over the truth, you become part of the lie.  You become part of that universe that will experience that tsunami like event and you too, will become a part of the problem.  It is the hardest thing to do, to walk away from people you love, to live your truth.  I get it.  And I respect it.  People had to walk away from me, because I was living a lie, many many years ago.  Those years spending in lies only resulted in years of picking up the pieces and cleaning up the many mistakes I made in the past.  Trust me when I say, the universe knows EVERY lie you told.  EVERY story you falsed, EVERY part of your history you tried to sweep under the rug.  It comes back!  In a way, I’m sad, because I have to watch people who don’t deserve it, get swept up in lies, and there’s nothing I can do about it.  We are all on a journey, and sometimes we have to watch another’s journey unfold and that tsunami hit.  It reminds me of the Japan Tsunami that hit years ago; many of us sat in front of our TV’s, watching that gigantic wave slowly work its way to the coast, and there was NOTHING that we could do about it.  That’s how it is with Truth.  It will always make its appearance when the universe is ready to reveal it.  I can’t imagine now living a lie.  The sleepless nights of worry of getting caught in something, dealing with the repercussions of those who would be affected by your deceit.  It’s a sad thing to watch.  But in the end, it’s just another way of saying the Universe is the boss.  Our Creator is the boss.  Like a parent grounding the child for its misdeeds, the universe grounds us when we are dishonest with ANYTHING.  That’s part of being in a 3 dimensional world.  In order for us to survive, we need to continually ground ourselves, check ourselves, when we get out of line.  Because if we don’t do it, trust me, the Universe WILL. 

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In the end, most people don’t want to know the Truth, because the Truth would require change.  And most people don’t like change.  It’s a very sad spiral many people fall into, and it takes great courage, swallowing your pride, and belief in yourself and yourself ALONE to make those changes to understand the Truth.  Only then will you find that peace of mind.  It becomes harder for people to manage the whole “woe is me” sense of being, and people will not want to be associated with you if you choose not to live the truth.  This is where breakage of relationships comes into play, and until we can all live in truth together, separation is imminent.  It’s up to you.  You have more power than you realize. 

That is what is most heartbreaking.  People have the power.  And people choose the power of deceit over the power of truth, because it’s easier and requires less work.  What people DON’T understand, though, is that the power of deceit is the harder of the two, so the question is, do you want the power of self-gratification of getting something quickly through deceit?  Because the moment you choose that path, you end of with a lifetime of hard work, obstacles and pain. 

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(“Truth or Sweet Lie” by Luz Tapia from Deviantart)

Truth = LIFE.  Deceit = LOSS.

Your move now.

~ Bridget

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