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The Demon Within…

One of the biggest things I deal with during this particular time of the year is the big D.  Most people know what I speak of, and I’m sure many of you are sitting on the other side of your computer nodding in complete and utter understanding.

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Depression, as many know, is when a chemical imbalance in our brains result in a disruption of some-sort, creating a sort of chaos in our bodies that causes hopelessness. Most times, depression is the result of a tragedy a person experiences, whether it be a death, break-up, or any of loss of “something”….Sometimes, in my case, it could be just a simple explanation of the weather 5 feet from me.  It is one of my biggest struggles I face with in life, and every year I pray and pray that somewhere, somehow, this feeling of sadness would end.

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So, let’s talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)….

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It goes without saying that everyone, both of human and animal alike, NEED sunlight.  The vitamins coming from the sun gives off so much energy and a pulse of life itself, there is no wonder why people love to “Sun bathe”.  Sadly, for me, I’m a Celt by blood.  A mixture of Irish, English, Scottish, and German.  So, putting my pasty self outside for more than a few moments will cause my skin to scream.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t love to be out in the sun.  It’s why I am a morning person, so to speak…(I say that because during the Monday-Friday deal, I’m not really worth talking to in the morning, but that’s a whole other story LOL)

In the Northern Hemisphere, at the time of Litha, otherwise known as Midsummer or the Summer Solstice, the Sun is at his prime, beaming down with such veracity, it even finds the shadiest of places.  But sadly, after that prime day of days, the Sun begins its fall.  And within 6 months, the Sun, although still shining, does not have the luster and awe that we had just a few months before.  For many people, this time is the beginning of Winter.  And we start our slow climb back to the manifestation of the gifts the Sun gives us in the Spring and Summer.

So, during the time after the holiday and New Year season ends, there is a period of silence.  Nothing really happens until the next little break, which is Valentine’s Day.  And then, after that, is the Spring Equinox, Ostara, or as many know it to be, Easter.

What do we do during this period?  Well, for me, I kind of go crazy and start cleaning and regrouping my life, creating goals for the warmer weather to come, all while taking care of my mind, body and soul, who is sadly ill-at-ease over the lack of warm sunlight, growth and overall life.

It’s why I love living myself according to the Celtic Seasonal Calendar.  It makes sense for me, because I always was like a month early to prepare for each season/holiday.  In just a few weeks, MY Winter will be over.  On February 1st, I celebrate the feast day of St. Bridget, who holds the keys of the kingdom for my favorite Season: Spring.

February 1st in the Celtic Calendar is the Season of Imbolc (Pronounced IMM-OLCK).  It is the beginning of the Springtime, the time where our Mother Earth is stirring and beginning her slow process of “waking up”.  Just as we, each morning, open our eyes, stretch our arms and legs, and get reacquainted with the morning and the light, so does Mother Earth.  The soil, through its Winter hibernation, begins to warm up, allowing the seeds within the soil to take heed and blossom.  One of the greatest gifts we can get in the Early Springtime are Crocuses.  They are Mother Nature’s quiet little trumpets, usually peeking up within the snow and cold ground, alerting us all that warm weather IS coming back.  That is the beauty of this planet.  Of where I live.  We know Spring follows Winter.  It’s how life is.

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So, what do I do in the meantime?  Even as I type this out, on this lazy Sunday morning, I feel sad.  Sad because going outside would require me to bundle up because the air is SO cold, it would actually hurt my skin.  Make my eyes water.  Even the “smell” of life, is not there.

What makes me gaga over being outside?  Feeling the grass beneath my bare feet.  Smelling the seasonal flowers breezing through the air.  Seeing the magnificent trees, shrubs and bushes blossom with beautiful green leaves…In the Celtic myths, Autumn and Winter meant Jack Frost was out and about, dropping hints of frost and ice among everything alive, telling them it’s time to die or go to sleep….In the Spring and Summer Months, Jack in the Green is our go-to guy.  He is the one who warms the skies and the Earth, and instead of frost, we have beautiful droppings of dew.

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(one of MANY Jack in the Green Parades held every year in Europe)

This is what makes my pulse quicken, my heart smile and my soul beam.  Warmth, light….like Persephone feeling so out of touch down in the Underworld, where she could not use her Gift with the Living World, and patiently waited until it was time for her to go back up, and be among the Living again, to feel the warmth of the Sun on her skin…Yes, I feel the exact same way.

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Since going off all Depression and Anxiety medicine, and opting for my Kratom intake, I can honestly say it hasn’t been TOO smooth sailing.  Of course it would be easy for me to put some chemicals into my body and numb myself…but it would be a disservice to me to do so.  I know not everyone agrees with me on that.  I always welcome other’s opinions and ideas…it’s just…it’s not for me.  I’ve been very careful over the last several years to deal with my addiction to pain killers…and for someone like me who is always in some kind of pain, it’s an easy excuse for me to pop a pill and call it a day.

No, as much as times like these where I wish I had something to numb my physical and emotional pain of the Winter, I know that in the end, it helps me SEE who I really am, because I am completely bare and open to the senses entirely.  I feel things now more than I ever have.  So, yes, the depression sucks.  But I also know, that there are times I feel such immense joy, that knowing I wouldn’t even feel an inch of that when trying to control my depression with medicine, gives me the honest knowing that I’m doing the right thing.

Don’t get me wrong:  I think about taking something every day.  Even right now, I feel incredibly blue (Get it?  Winter “blues”?) and staring at the walls may be what I need right now to numb the sadness of the lack of life outside….

This depression began in 2001.  And slowly progressed as the years went on…Now that I am in the beginning stages of my body slowing down and turning into the Crone, I feel this even more.

How do I deal with it?  It’s a demon inside of me I deal with every day between Thanksgiving and about Mid-March.  For some people it’s less time, and for others, it’s more.  It feels like the Postpartum depression I had for the first 4 weeks after my son’s birth.  It begins as a nagging feeling, that turns into a feeling of dread.  Dread?  Yup, dread.  It overtakes me like a demon overtakes a human…I cry at everything and anything, I sleep more, I stare more, and I tend to lash out more.  My husband, sons, parents, sisters and closest friends know it the depression talking.  The know this silly little hobbit doesn’t usually act like this, and know how to approach me during my times of struggle.  They know and respect the fact I don’t want chemicals in my body.  They are patient and kind, and allow me the time and patience I need for myself to understand how my body reacts to this rough season.

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(seriously, whoever created these are a GENIUS)

Kratom certainly helps, but, it is just a band aid.  It does NOT take away the full feelings.  But it does lessen the load.  And the best part?  It does not numb me.  If there could be anything that I hate, it is the numbness of my body, mind and soul.  To lose the essence of your life just because there’s a period of time each year where I feel sad, it’s just not enough for me to make that kind of decision.  That’s not for me to judge anyone who DOES.

So, for the next few weeks, I will be quietly tinkering away at my new home.  Putting things in their place, and dealing with the sadness I not only feel for the cold months, but for other things I cannot control.  It’s a continued lesson in humility, and I love that I’m always up for the challenge, no matter how tired and sad I’m feeling at the moment.

What makes me happy during the colder months?

  • Music – Usually Celtic/Irish/Scottish music, 80’s Pop, and some Sacred World music, from either Lisa Thiel, Snatnam Kaur, or Spiral Dance
  • Painting – I am still trying to find my easle, but the moment I do, I’m off!
  • Festivals – There is an amazing Scottish and Irish Festival that happens in February, and it truly lifts up my spirits EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
  • Garden Planning – For the first time since 2007, I will have my own garden again.  Planning it has definitely helped tremendously during this time.
  • Snuggles – My boys know all these need to do is snuggle up to me, it will bring a big smile.  I love my family.
  • Cleaning – I tend to light A LOT of incense that smells of lavender, jasmine, and other springy smells…as well as light lots of candles…and the smell of Pine Sol?  OMG Don’t go there with me…it’s like heaven haha!
  • Ritual – if there is anything I love to do, is to be in ritual with myself.  That time you give to yourself, whether it is meditating, chanting, praying, or even something simple like taking a nice, warm bath…yes, it helps a great deal.

I know there are probably more, but these are the big ones.  Tell me about what you do!  I am always looking for suggestions.

Lots of Hobbit Love,

Bridget

 

The Ascension Series: A Download of a Moment In Between Lives…

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Sometimes it hits me like a mac truck, other times, it comes flowing gently like a sea breeze…

The dreams and feelings are coming back. It’s been a couple months since I wrote about Ascension. But, today these feelings, that can go so deep into my body, are coming back and back in full force. Sometimes, all it takes is a song, a picture, or something my body seems to react to, before I get a download of information from those outside our physical realm. Yes, I do a lot of channeling but do not talk about it because it took many years for me to realize it wasn’t my own ego. Today I saw this picture:

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And immediately my body started to tingle and tears welled up in my eyes. I immediately became what many would view as homesickness.

I didn’t ask for this. I never wanted to be like this. To have these abilities. I can’t even begin to start the bullying I get for who I am. I’m no one special, and yet I am very special. I wish I could make this go away sometimes and just be “normal”, whatever that definition truly represents. It’s bad enough there are people in my life that think I am a complete whackadoodle, but I also know that if I continue to keep these thoughts, these ideas, these feelings, deep within me, I will eventually implode.

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But then, I look at pictures, listen to certain music, and my heart opens up SO wide that fear strikes almost immediately that people will take that vulnerability and attack it with full force.

Someone once said that it would be pretty arrogant of us to think that out of all in the universe, WE are the only beings that live within it.  Even with NASA and other scientists around the world who are finally coming out to admit there IS life outside this planet, people STILL don’t believe it.

Here’s a bit of a fun thought:  Most of us in this world do not originate from Earth. I know that’s hard for people to comprehend. Because right now, at this very moment, this is all we know. Earth is all we know. But so many of us have experienced so many lifetimes on this planet, as well as other planets and universes, that it would be too much for our minds to take in all at once. It’s why we reincarnate. It’s why we have Akashic Records. Between lives, we have the ability to sit down and go over all of our lives, check patterns and see what areas in our soul’s evolution do we still need to work on.

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For me, it’s forgiveness on both sides of the coin. It is truly one of my greatest challenges. So, this life I am leading now I have been challenged literally in all areas of forgiveness from the time I was very little. To learn about forgiving someone and to be forgiven. I have surrendered myself to let things happen as they come. And learn from every one of my mistakes, whether they were self-inflicted or done unto me.

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Right now, I have a home sickness for a place my Earth life cannot remember. I see a vast city, full of white buildings. Crystalline palaces and roads that were so iridescent that one would think you could see right through them. Colors our earthly eyes cannot understand. Plants and trees no one has ever imagined. The air is so pure it is intoxicating to our lungs. Now, some people would call this “Heaven.” And you know, maybe it is! I don’t know. All I know is that it is my home. And right now my heart and soul is longing to be there.

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Now, before people get freaked out…No, I am NOT insinuating I am depressed, suicidal, or anything of that matter. All I am stating is that my soul is continuing its ascension process and every once in a while I get a jolt of something that brings me to a new level. Right now, I just hit a new one. Lately, these jolts have been somewhat painful. But this one…Oh this one, is lovely. It helps me remember why I love Earth so much. Why I love gardening so much. I realized earlier that in this other world, I worked in the agriculture area, as a gardener and animal care taker. I live on the outskirts of this city, near water and forests of such lush, green beauty that I can almost taste it!

You want to take a walk with me in this? Read on as the download commences…

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There is some sort of platform on the edge of this world, where ships of all kinds land. It helps keep the atmosphere of the world at peak levels. There are waterfalls all around this landing area to help ionize the chemicals that may come into the atmosphere. There are very little stairs in this world, as most of the places higher up have ramps. Getting off the ship and onto the base itself is quite simple. However the trek to the city is where the world is going to be at. Mainly because there are very little vehicles allowed in this world for travel, so most people travel by foot, or if you have the flight ability, float or fly. I have a small ability towards flight, but I don’t use it much, so I find myself walking mostly. The road to the city is amazing. Tall trees that look Willows but have the bark of Birch line the forests. Animals are everywhere, and are kind to the beings of this planet. All the animals on this planet are Herbivores. The clothes I am wearing are a bluish/grayish/purplish in nature, and I am wearing pants, a shirt and a long coat/robe over it. I have grayish boots on with material that resembles sheep wool. The air smells of jasmine, so I must assume it is Springtime. I do know that this world experiences mostly Spring, Summer and Autumn. The Winter is dry and cold, but unlike the freezing temperatures the Northeast of the US gets. Most of the time the weather is quite pleasant, with very little rain. Yet the plants continue to thrive, mainly because of a hydro/aquaponics technique that flows underground with the rivers and oceans on the planet. So, the plants get their water from underground.

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After walking a couple hours I come to a clearing, where there is a massive marble wall that lines the city limits. I know I am close to home. I veer off to the left, which is where my home is. I can see it from here, down into the valley, the grass is like a Kelley green. I can see the goats from where I am standing, and some are coming towards me, as they recognize who I am. Yes, I am a goat farmer. (which makes me understand my love of goat cheese on Earth). I live with about 14 people, mainly family members, spread out on a ranch that is not like the ranches we see in the US. No, the buildings of my ranch are 1 floor, very long and wide. There are no windows, mainly because there is very little wind ever. The ranch itself is very open. It’s made of white stone, which almost resembles a white adobe, only much larger. I live on the Southeast end of the city, right inside the entrance.

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The last time I was home, there were only about 5-6 people living there, as the others were incarnated in other lives. I can sense the excitement inside of me, because I know I am home and never want to leave.

The last time I was home, my grandparents were there, along with a couple cousins, my brother and an Aunt. No, I need to be frank here, when I say family, and I mention them here, they are not the same as the Earth family I have. Yes, I do know that some of my Earth family here are also my soul family, but most of them are not. They are familiars from the city, while others are not from my planet.

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My brother is the first to see me, and rushes outside to greet me. He was preparing to go deep into the city to do some bartering, and I decided to go with him. No one else was home at the time, as my family was out and about, so we set out to go into the city. I can see how tall and elongated the buildings are. There is music in the air, yet I do not know where it is coming. It’s sounds angelic and yet electronic in nature. There are parks, houses and neighborhoods all around. It’s like everything is glistening, yet there was no rain. The air is different when you get deeper into the city, as one can feel the excitement as you near the center. It smells like incense almost, like you are near a church, even though there are NO churches on my planet. This I do remember. I look off to the right and see my school. Yes, part of my coming back also means I need to go back to school. I know that the next day I am to meet with my guides and leaders to discuss my previous life, find out where I went right, where I went wrong, what do I see for the next incarnation, and the lessons I need help in. I am an older soul, so I do know that my schooling is coming to an end soon. I do know I am helping out the guides with the newer/younger souls. The younger souls tend to come back quickly because so many of them choose suicide in their life because they do not understand how to handle the stressful situations that a physical life comes with.

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I am beginning to see familiar faces. Some that I feel I haven’t seen in a millennia. There is so much love that surrounds the air itself you could almost see it. It almost reminds me of a busy spring afternoon in New York’s Central Park. People are laying around in the grass on blankets, some playing music, some in the depths of conversation, some reading a book. The activity in the city is electric, yet soothing. This definitely resonates with me, due to the fact I have an equal love for living in the city and living in the country, and here on Earth never understood why I loved the city when I never lived in one.

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We come to a building, which is the bartering center. There are stalls lined up of people with all their works, whether it is food, art, building supplies, you name it, it’s there. It’s a massive center, yet it feels so welcoming walking into it. The clothes most people are wearing are mutes tones of blue, gray, white, green, and purple. Most people are in pants, with those in long dress-like clothes are the teachers and spiritual guides/mentors. Everyone is so happy and friendly. There is very little animosity or issues that go on here. There is never any tension between people, and for those that are, are newer/younger souls that may be in the throes of new education.

There is so much light but you cannot see a particular “sun”. It never truly turns dark, as even in the depth of night, it only gets dark enough to look like dusk on a summer’s eve. The sky turns purple and there are so many stars in the sky it would be impossible to count.

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There is so much to do in the city. There are restaurants, grocery stores, libraries, schools, music clubs, and so on. There seem to be celebrations always going on for one reason or another. While my brother is speaking to one of the merchants, I walk around the city in amazement, listening to the music coming from somewhere, watching some people dance in the park, etc…

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There is no time here. Sure, there is day and night, but not like the clock time we deal with here on earth. There are never set schedules, even though you know to be somewhere when you need to be there. I know this because tomorrow I am going back to school and meeting with my mentors to talk about my life. I get to go to my Akashic Records Room and go over patterns of this past life and the ones before. My goal is to spend a little more time here than last time, as I reincarnated fairly quickly between lives the last time. It may explain the troubles I continually faced in my last life. But for now, my first day back, I rest easy. I look up into the clear blue sky and watch the ships pass over.

And that’s it. That’s all that came to me.

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The Ascension Series: The Good and Bad Symptoms…

Usually I steer off onto different subjects whenever I am blogging, but right now it seems I am being called to continue my talks on Ascension and Awakening Symptoms that I know many people are going through. This past weekend was no exception. So, I’m going to indulge in some things that if you catch on to what I’m saying, great! If not no biggie, I really don’t want to throw out this big announcement before everything has been finalized. So, I ask you all for a little latitude in how I am writing right now. (yes, I’m going to be throwing in some clues in this post without giving it away, so if you catch it, wonderful – you know my secret news I am hoping to tell the world in the next few weeks).

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(Some photos from our mini-holiday in Ocean City, NJ)

There are days in which I receive a DNA Activation/Ascension Symptom that can be insanely euphoric. Over the last several months my life alone has had its share of ups and downs, and although so many were amazing “ups”, there were plenty of “downs” that literally sent me into a downward spiral. It’s funny, the more I think about it, it’s been almost manic and maybe I HAVE been displaying symptoms of Bi-Polar disorder, as my former doctor tried to tell me. I refused to believe him, to the point I left his practice, after being there from the time I was 13. He wanted me to take a drug called Seraquil, which quite frankly I took for all of 2 days and hopped off of it immediately because I felt I was literally going crazy. Realizing now that this is not a matter-of-fact issue regarding my human-ness, but rather this pertains to my soul-ness. And sadly, no doctor will listen to you if you come to them and say “I’m going through the Ascension process!” HA! That sounds crazy-legit, and even I know not to go to the doctor with that kind of mentality. No, I have found that my basic issues I have as a human are good for going to the doctor, and the bigger stuff, well, I feel a higher calling is a little more qualified for the job.

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So, many people know when going through the Ascension process your emotions are truly off the charts. I tip my hat to my sweet husband, who sometimes hasn’t a clue what to do with me when I am having an intensified activation or just an overall difficult time with a particular symptom I am dealing with at the moment. It’s not fair to him, and I feel terrible about it. When you see what I see, and feel what I feel (which I know many can agree with me here), it can be incredibly difficult to get your partner to understand what you are going through, especially if they themselves are not fully awakened. The process can be heavenly and equally hellish.

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(The Eye of the Bohemian Hobbit – awake)

Okay, so the good symptoms? I’m going to give you some brief ideas of some of the good symptoms. Mind you-I might be alone in some of these, and others will find many who might be able to resonate. Each human is on their own separate journey, but some of us are working together currently in each other’s lives, and so on and so on…There are times, and this has happened while I was driving, eating lunch, surfing the internet, or even just sitting alone in my bedroom, and something inside me starts to stir. The only way I can describe it is the butterfly effect. That feeling of euphoria, happy jitters, the kind you feel when you are falling in love, or winning the lottery, or finding out a seller agreed to your offer on a house, or getting ready to walk down the aisle. So, what is happening if you aren’t experiencing the things I stated above, yet your body is reacting that way? Well, for me it was little things. The way the sky looked, or glancing at the clock with numbers like 1111, or hearing a song or sound that somehow made you feel like you were having some brilliant out of body experience. This weekend I had an activation. I was priviledged to go on a mini-holiday with my parents, husband and sons to the coast. My parents rented a house right on the beach, and I hadn’t been at a beach front house since I was a teenager. I had the chance to sit by myself on the porch at sunset, facing the ocean.  I can’t even explain how extraordinary it was. To be able to sit there, listen to the tides, watch the moon rise, and see the stars come out in their glistening glory. I felt myself starting to get emotional, as if realizing how truly small we are in this universe. That we have to be such an arrogant species to think we are alone here. And I felt a longing all of a sudden, that like my vacation home, Earth was a place I was just “visiting”. That in reality, my home wasn’t here, it was somewhere out “there”. And I felt…magical. I closed my eyes and this energy came around me I hadn’t felt in my body before, yet it wasn’t UNFAMILIAR. Like someone I hadn’t seen in a long while had come up from behind me to give me a great big bear hug. It was comforting. I felt my chest open up, as if all the organs in the front part of my torso were being exposed. I felt free and light, like I could be easily swept up from that porch and into the night sky to dance with the heavens around me. It was an amazing experience.

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(Photo courtesy of Land of Euphoria on Tumblr)

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Now, the not-so-good symptoms. These can be horrific. They come as demons in the night, shouting at you, making you believe your ego is making you think of these things, that you are not loved, that you are not special. And the rage inside of me becomes so suppressive I feel like I’m going to burst. When we got home from our holiday yesterday, I experienced this one particular symptom, and the victim of this was my husband, who watches over me when I go through this process. All of a sudden, I felt alone, afraid, lonely, shut down, like everything that is happening to me is just an illusion. Maybe I have been just making it up? Maybe the world is really evil? Maybe I am truly mental? Going through these moments can be terrifying. My husband knows exactly when I am going through these motions, because things like clutter and a messy room, especially with our beginning to pack our boxes again, although on a normal basis I really don’t like, but sometimes, something as simple as a sock on the floor will put me in a place of utter despair. And I feel there is no hope. I know; sounds manic, right? Truth is I’m not upset with the sock, or the clutter. I’m upset because I know deep inside of me there’s more going on and my physical 3D body can’t experience it. Take for instance a great scene from the Kevin Smith movie Dogma. Alan Rickman’s character as the Seraphim Metatron, when he stated, “Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the AWESOME power of God’s true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out…”

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Hahahaha,so true. It’s why we’re here and why we feel separated from God. That’s part of our journey. To find out in the end that we never really separated from God in the first place! Sadly, our 3D bodies cannot understand what our souls already know. So, it’s literally like the battle between heaven and hell, with heaven being our souls and hell being the physical body it lives in. Religion likes to play a stake in this game we call life with crowd control and blind faith. But, we are capable of so much more in this world! It is sadly our minds that keep us thinking of how limited we are, and it is the very thing that keeps us from ascending in the first place. So yes, the hard part of ascension is the release of the ego. God is the IAM of the soul, the Ego is the IAM of the body. Since God is our creator, the Ego has really no power. Yet, we allow our Ego to have it. So, why wouldn’t our process of Ascension be difficult? Almost like blind faith, but it isn’t. Because our souls know all the answers to the universe. This is why I don’t believe in a “devil” or “Hell” after death from this life. I believe the devil and our ego/pride are equals, and the life we make from our ego and pride is the very essence of hell. We can overcome this, however, through the process of Ascension.

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(Photos courtesy of Matheusw and My Sweetest Darkness on Tumblr)

Right now through the end of this year, the Ascension process is being kicked up a notch for many people, myself included. Expect a LOT more of these things to happen in the coming months, especially September and October. We are going through many shifts in the universal planes, and because of this, our souls are being alerted, like a sleep alarm clock going off, letting us know it’s time to wake up.

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Will you get up or will you continue to hit that snooze button?

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The Ascension Series: Awakening/Ascension Symptoms…

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Wow! So my last couple of blogs have seemed to have hit home with a lot of my readers! I have received TONS of responses from here, emails and private messages. Trust me! I get it! There is a reason you felt the need to write to me, and it’s called the Spiritual Law of Attraction! When our souls are ready to progress to the next state of consciousness, you will find certain “coincidences” happening around you, like falling on to a video you never thought you would watch, or reading a blog you know you would never have read, or a conversation you overheard that specifies something you have all of a sudden become interested in. This was all supposed to happen! So, #1….don’t be afraid! Trust me, I didn’t have anyone to walk me through the Ascension/Awakening process 11 years ago, so I can assure you, you want to have people on your side. Going through this process can be a debilitating and very lonely time period. Mainly, because people around you, who are NOT going through this important step, are or have been questioning your sanity. Am I right? Or better yet, you get blown off like it’s no big deal, or people make the assumption you are going through a “phase”. So, today I’m going to talk about the Ascension symptoms people go through (or at least, I know I went through), during the last 11 years. My goal is to help those who are curious over certain things, ideas, or anything that has become “different” in your life, and help you understand it’s okay, to not be afraid, and open yourself to receive this amazing gift that is inside of you. So let’s begin…

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***Before I dive into this, I need to tell you something:  The things I am about to talk about are about 1/100th of what’s really going on.  Even as I am typing this, my mind is racing like a gerbil inside the wheel, trying to figure out how I’m going to explain this.  Truth is, I can’t get everything into one blog.  But what I will give you today is an OVERVIEW of what’s going on, in hopes you will start to ask questions, and I can answer them better, than just throwing everything I know into this one writing piece.  So, I am only tapping into a very small area of awakening, as there is so much depth to this process.  Based on what you know about me, this has been going on with me for 11 years now, and it’s still happening!***

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Sometimes, all it takes is a thought. Something out of the blue during the normal part of your day, that would make you say to yourself, “okay, why did I just think that?” Or looking at the clock at the exact same time each day, usually seeing something like “11:11” or “5:55” and so forth.  Sometimes, you could be on the outside of a conversation and listening to someone cry, and all of a sudden, your chest tightens, you can’t breathe, and find you yourself want to cry! Or better yet, you find yourself outside at night, just looking up at the sky and a feeling of excitement and longing comes into your body, not having any idea what caused that euphoric feeling to come rushing through.

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How many times have you woken up out of a deep sleep, and wondered why the heck you just dreamed something that was definitely not of this world? Or that your dream, no matter how crazy it seemed, made you feel so special, so happy, that you actually became depressed knowing you are back in “reality”? You start trying to go back in time, figuring out what you ate, what was the last TV show you watched, that would cause these insane dreams to just play in your head. Why?

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Soul awakening is a SCARY thing! I know! So many of us are presently going through it right now. And what happens, is that our belief systems, our foundations of the very core of our livelihood, literally crashes upon itself, almost imploding. Here’s the thing: You cannot stop this from happening. Like a dormant portal opening up after a millennia of being closed; you cannot turn back time and close it again. It’s open and the only thing you can do at this point is walk through.

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Soul awakening is a lonely thing to go through. You almost feel ostracized by everyone around you. It’s frustrating, like trying to feed raw vegetables to a 3 year old. Don’t fight the people around you, instead, find the empathy that’s inside of you, and think about how your un-awakened self would react if someone you loved or cared about started talking about things that didn’t make sense. Even after 11 years, my own family still has a very hard time, and rather than fight and try to make them understand where I’m coming from, I breathe and love them, regardless of the situation. Respect those around you who don’t understand. As in the old adage, “they’re only human”….well, yes! That’s the truth!

Okay, so what are the symptoms? There are so many of them, but I am going to list the most usual ones:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Feeling you don’t belong and you want to go “home”
  • More vivid dreams
  • Insomnia
  • Fatigue
  • Seeing numbers like 11:11 or 111 or 555, 444, 777, etc…
  • Electronics going off/blowing out
  • Seeing sparkles of light outside your peripheral vision
  • Ringing in the ear (especially the right ear)
  • Lack of trust in people
  • A feeling of more empathy for everyone and everything
  • Feeling like you have a mission on this planet
  • Noise and Food sensitivity
  • Feeling a sense of urgency to help the planet
  • Feelings a deep connection to the colors purple, turquoise, indigo or deep blue
  • Feeling a connection whenever you see a movie or TV show that incorporates space travel in other worlds (Hollywood Science Fiction like Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr. Who, Lord of the Rings, to name a few)
  • Having a deep sense of Spirituality without needing to have a “religion” to be a part of.
  • No longer fearing God or whatever you consider the Creator is out to judge and harm you for your faults; that you know deep within you were created and molded out of love, and from that you will return to that love, even with all your faults.
  • Finding your tastes have changed in many things that have before, made up of who you were as a person: music, art, education, career, food, fashion, religion, etc…
  • Longing to want to share your experiences with others in hopes you are not alone in this.

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So, those are just a few of the symptoms many people go through. But there can be hundreds more. I would love to know if any of you experience these symptoms. My goal is to eventually do a Video Blog on this very important topic, in hopes people who are going through the beginning stages have a place to come to listen and BE listened to.  Remember, our DNA is being reprogrammed from what it originally was supposed to be.  So, it’s like our souls are being activated after a time of sleep.  We’re waking up!

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So, tell me…what experiences have you been going through that you know deep within are not “usual” to your life?

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