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Samhain and the Time of No Time…An Earth Spiritualist’s POV…

wheel_of_the_year    Today I was listening to the Starz’ Series Outlander Volume 1 and 2 Soundtrack on my computer and couldn’t help but feel a jolt of excitement.  Samhain is coming up next week, and if anyone has watched the Outlander Series, Claire’s journey begins on the feast of Samhain.  (Mind you, the book is different and shows that her journey begins on Beltane, but I kind of like this change, since Samhain is literally strewn in mystery, which is what time traveling is all about, right?)

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Samhain.  The end and yet the beginning of the Celtic New Year.  Halloween itself started about 1300 years ago in the Celtic Isles, however Samhain has been around much much longer than that.  This Holy Day, was the original holy day of obligation that many today know it as All Saints/All Souls Day.  The ORIGINAL holiday was called Samhain or Samhuinn (pronounced SAH-WHEN).

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(Samhain Ritual and Celebration at Columcille Megalith Park in Bangor, PA 2013 – Photo taken by Sean DeStephano)

So, how can I go from understanding myself as a Galactic Starseed during this Ascension process yet still can resonate with my Earthly bound needs?  Well, for me it’s quite simple.  Our souls are galactically bound to the Heavens, to our Creator.  It’s so vast and so strong and powerful, there is no denying where our souls come from. (at least in my opinion).  However, we are humans of the Earth right now, and we asked to be a part of this planet to learn the lessons our souls need right now.  And there is no doubt, no doubt, in my mind, how connected I am to Mother Earth.

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From gardening, to the Moon, to understanding my body’s wants and needs, and how this is all connected to the core of my humanness, my soul.  See, what many people don’t either understand or care to want to educate themselves on is that these Earth Spirituality faiths were the original religions.  Yes, I know it may come as a shock to many, but these “religions” came before Judiasm, before Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, and so on.  What has happened today is that Jesus’ legacy was severely altered by subjecting those followers to believe that honoring the planet we walk upon should be viewed as “evil”.  Men perversed the Earth religions because it overpowered their own beliefs.  How the written word has literally been changed time and time again over thousands of years.  How sad is that????  Think about it this way:  You decide to start a company.  You begin in the trenches and work your way from the bottom.  Then, something happens…people start buying into your business.  You make enough money and some big investment firm offers you a proposition that you simply could NOT turn way.  You leave your company in the hands of those who never knew what you had to do to get where you are today.  Fast forward 5 years, and everything you originally started the company was no longer there.  The product changed.  The logo changed.  The mission statement changed.  Everything you thought of, dreamed of, was gone.  Why?  Because someone else decided they wanted to make it different.  And all it takes is a little marketing and boom….it’s a new brand.

This is precisely what happened here.  The old religions were shunned aside, making way for something different.  And I mean, come on, let’s look at Christianity.  The teachings Jesus taught.  Do you REALLY think that’s what the church stands for today?  I’m not looking for debate here, I’m not looking to insult anyone’s faith.  In fact, I love Christianity.  Well, the way it WAS, at least.  I live in a way, a Christian life.  I am kind to EVERYONE, even those who have hurt me.  I forgive.  I work hard and am humble. (at least I try to be).  I try to set a good example for my children.  I am loyal.  And I believe EVERYONE is welcome to enjoy the glories of eternal life, no matter WHAT faith you walk by.

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But see, I’m more than that.  I wish you could feel what I feel when I go outside at night and look up at the Moon.  Or when I light some incense and close my eyes and think about how I can be a better person in life.  Or a take a set of cards and lay them out, trying to find out what I need to do to work on myself.  Or when I stand in front of a table, with statues or pictures of people I love and honor, and pray to help me here in life.  Now, let me ask you:  Do I sound like a person who is evil?  Do you think I am playing with fire?  Because that’s truly what people think.    I’ve learned to let it go, no matter how much it breaks my heart.  But my love of this planet, my creator, and everyone around it is MORE important than a few people who think I am damned to eternal fires.  It just has to be this way.

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(The Moon from our deck just now)

This coming weekend I will be spending a quiet evening with a couple of people I am incredibly close to.  My next of kin outside my own blood family.  And we will be honoring those who have passed on, especially those in the last year.  I have a list of friend’s relatives, family and friends who have been asked to be put on my special intentions list, and we will be remembering them that evening.  I will call them to join us for dinner, and to stay with us in deep and spiritual meditation, reminding them how much they were loved here, and how they will never be forgotten.  In Latin communities, they call it Dia De Los Muertos.  In Christian communities, they call it All Saints/All Souls Day.  Again, let me ask you, why is it okay for those in those communities to do what I do, yet what I do is evil?  Asking people to let down their guard, as well as their egos, can be quite a challenge.  But I always welcome this conversation, because I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they believe in.  And as long as they respect me the way I respect them, we will live in more harmony.

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(Ritual of Dia De Los Muertos in Mexico)

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(Catholic Cemetery honoring All Souls Day in Bangladesh)

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(Traditional Altar honoring the ancestors at Samhain)

Samhain is a time of reflection, a time where we go into a void until the Winter Solstice, which is the beginning of Yule, the welcoming back of the sun, or in Christian communities, the Son.  I love this time of year, because it is an amazing experience to really go inward, and let go of your ego, and you realize what true humility is like.  It’s precious, and I take advantage of every moment I have in reflective solitude.

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I am going to begin doing classes for those who are interested in my path.  I look forward to helping people on their path, whether it is along my side, or on a different road.  Either way, I will always be there for those who need me.

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Another great thing about the next several weeks of being in “no time”, is in that reflection, I will find more time for my art.  My art in writing, painting, drawing, and other crafts.  If you are interested in a painting or drawing or anything of that matter, please let me know.  I have found my best work, albeit in my poetry and artwork, always comes between November and the first 3 weeks of December.  My inspiration?  The skies at Sunset.  Trust me when I say they are extraordinary.

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(December 2013 Sunset near Appalachian Mountains)

Will you be participating in anything honoring your ancestors this week?  If so, how?  I love to hear about what everyone is going to be doing.

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Photo:Copyright JOE;CONLON;ATHBOY;;;

(Photo:  Joe Conlon)

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Personal Freedom and Responsibility…

wpid-sad-silhouette-1080946-m.jpgI am fighting a battle I cannot win.

Every day I am dealing with a struggle that many people on this earth look at as an easy constant in their lives. I wake up every single morning with the same underlying thoughts that I’ve had for so many years I can no longer remember when they began. But they are there, like an addiction reminding me it’s never going to go away. Is there something wrong with me? Is this a cry for help? Is this just to get some attention? The truth is, I don’t know. It may be, and may not be. But I know one thing is for certain: The older I am getting, the more this feeling inside of me grows considerably stronger.

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The things I’m about to say may seem odd to the normal lay person, and for that I’m sorry. Maybe I’m wrong and just pre-judging something that doesn’t even really exist. Maybe none of us are really “normal”. There isn’t a set definition to the term in my own eyes, unless it is to describe society as a whole. For me, though, I know quite well I’m not normal. And for what it’s worth, I’m really fine with that. Sure, sometimes I wish I was like the “society” norm and wear clothes that fit my physical age, or cut my hair to show representation of motherhood, or decorate my house in Pottery Barn-esq type décor. Don’t get me wrong – if you are one of those people who does each one of those things and you feel strongly convicted in your life decisions in those areas, I’m not mocking you. In fact, sometimes I’m quite jealous of you! Why do I think differently?

The way society explains how the “norm” should be is not what I am, so please do not take offense of my choice to leverage my version of this definition. Like I said above, there should be NO true definition of the word normal, because it really is based on the culture that a living being is living in. I live in The United States, in a Suburban living neighborhood/apartment complex, in a semi-quiet town not far from some of the big city adventures. I am happily married to a man I truly call my best friend in the world. I was a single mother of a son for a long time, who at one point worked 3 jobs to cover the cost of living. I am an emotional eater and a social drinker. I work for a financial institution that thrives on helping people strengthen their financial retirement goals. I sit in an 8×8 cubical desk area from 8-4:30pm Monday through Friday, while my children go to Summer Camp or School. I drive an affordable Mitsubishi Outlander that I aptly named Jamie Fraser. (I Heart Outlander) I am the eldest of three daughters to parents who have been happily married for 40 years. I had boyfriends, proms, late nights out at the bar, and phone conversations for 3-4 hours with friends because my parents gave me that allowance. But I was unhappy for a good majority of my younger life, with things that happened to me, and well, resulted in me doing bad things that at the time, did not realize how bad they were. I was functionally living an unfunctional life. This was my norm from age 1-19.

Then….things happened. (that’s for another time.)

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From age 20 until present day, I would spend hours, days, months, in absolute secrecy, writing my everyday thoughts, daydreaming things I only thought were fantasy. I was ashamed to ever speak about it because quite frankly, no one I knew ever showed a modicum of interest in the things I was thinking about. I was petrified on a continuous basis for living this…lie. I found myself watching documentaries of other cultures and other countries, and seeing how some other places gave people more freedom of the creativity that I obsessed of having.   What the heck was I doing wrong? There is only one word for that.

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Fear.

You can be the most holy of clergyman, the most intelligent of scholars, and yet, if you live in any sort of fear, you are living in the dark. And guess what? Most of us live in fear. How? Well, mainly the majority of people live in fear of judgment of what other people will say about decisions they make. This is honestly one of humanities biggest fallbacks. We are so concerned and involved in the worriment of the thoughts of others that we in turn sacrifice our very own wants, needs and desires to make others feel better. I’ve spoken of this a lot over the years because it’s one of my biggest challenges. News flash: If people want to use what I write as fodder for their amusement or gossip, I can’t stop them. But how dare I stop what calls me, what thrives within me, what makes me whole? For what? To make others stop talking about me? To hope others MIGHT take me seriously? I find it funny that those who disagree with my life are the very ones who, no matter what, will never take me seriously, but when push comes to shove, will come to me when they need it most and I have NEVER turned my cheek. It’s the nature of the beast and I can’t and will never stop that. I will never stop helping those I love and care about, even if they cannot respect or understand the journey I am on. But I will not stop talking. I will not stop writing. It’s what I love to do. It’s my soul freeing itself from the chains of slavery inside this physical matter called a body.

Why, am I then, FIGHTING?

Yesterday I had a talk with a good friend of mine who reached out saying she wanted to help me on my path to a happier life. Without going into more detail, tonight after work I’m going to start what many would call a “dream board”.

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A dream board is a collection or collage of things that you want in your life that make you brilliantly happy. And if you could do or have something every day, put it on this board. It will help the person understand better by physically LOOKING at what you want, rather than dreaming it inside your head. Many project managers and marketing directors look to dream boards to help aid in the brainstorming process. I look forward to putting much together.

In the meantime, I will continue to keep my nose to the grindstone and get through each day with a happy and hopeful heart. Dreams are coming to reality, slowly BUT surely. I’ve never been more certain in my entire life that I am exactly where I need to be in life to be the best person I CAN be. I will NEVER go back to that state of darkness. Not for all the money in the world. Because that, my friends, is really playing with the devil. And the devil plays no part in my life, even if some think otherwise.

Celebrating Being a Woman…

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It took me close to 30 years to fully appreciate and love who I am.  At 41 years old, I really am excited that today we are celebrating International Woman’s Day.  Sure, I get it, there seems to be a day where we are nationally and universally recognizing everything under the sun, but in reality, isn’t that what life is all about?  To celebrate?  To live?  We become so involved in our own realities that we forget to stop for a moment and think what we’re doing all this for.  So, I truly believe days like this were created to help us stop, think, and celebrate.  Today, I celebrate being a woman.

As my friend Beth in California said yesterday, she described herself as this:  “I am the eternal dreamer. I dream big and never give up on my dreams. I made California happen, I can make any dream happen…”

How powerful is that????  That we can MAKE things happen?  Well, it’s true.  Our thoughts immediately put reality into motion.  People forget this.  The old adage, “be careful what you wish for”, is simply explaining the idea “thoughts become things…”  This is what “The Secret” is all about.

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We are fierce.  We are independent.  We are love.  We are the wild of the two genders, living in an ecstatic world of chaos, we have the ability to focus and bring peace between the craziness.  Our capacity to unconditionally love is so profound, we really have no clue the depths our own emotions can go.

But, because of how deep our emotions are, we find ourselves being labeled.  Over emotional, over sensitive, weak, among others.  Love is the strongest emotion there is, so how is it that our whole self is full of love, yet we are considered the weaker of the two?  Not going into a battle of the sexes, seeing who is “better, stronger, faster”, I am simply implying that people need to not be so quick to judge when you see a woman in a state of bliss.  We are MAGICALLY working our true selves when love is the cornerstone of our livelihood.

We have boobs, we get periods, we birth babies, and yet, for some reason, many of us were taught at a young age that this was punishment for being the first of the two genders to sin.  Hell, the way I see it, I believe we were GIFTED.  When I get my period, I feel more powerful than I do any other time of the month.  I create magic in my life. You know we CAN do this!!!!  We are a magical gender!  Why do you think witches are usually labeled as women????  Because in reality, we ARE magic!  I would be hard pressed to say I haven’t met a woman in this life that hasn’t thought that herself.  And if you do question your abilities, just for today, let go of that inhibition.  Remember what our Creator gave you.  USE IT.  WORK IT.  EMPOWER IT.  You would be SHOCKED at the possibilities you have.

I am getting married in 39 days.  And up until a couple months ago, I was freaking out that my dress is going to be a little tight because I’ve gained some winter weight.  You know what?  WHO THE HELL CARES?  For years I’ve hated myself, hated my body.  Not anymore.  I’m gonna work those curves like Vivienne did the night she met Edward on Hollywood Boulevard.  Why?  Because I’m a woman and dammit, I’m freaking beautiful.  And that light within me is gonna shine so bright people are going to have a hard time looking at me the night I walk down that aisle.

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I’ve also decided to stop coloring my hair.  Yup, you heard it here, folks. I looked at myself in the mirror a few days ago and realized how much I’ve changed.  Why would I want to try to look how I did years ago if I am no longer that woman I was years ago?  Sure, that’s my own analogy, and no one has to follow me on that.  Some women are really petrified of going gray, some just don’t like the look.  And that’s awesome as well.  Because how you feel inside is how your’re going to reflect your outside.  You could be drop dead physically gorgeous, but if you have an ugly heart, trust me, IT SHOWS.  I have seen beauty in some of the weirdest ways, but that’s because my eyes see differently than others.  I’m okay with being different.  I’m okay with wearing skirts that make me look shorter than I already am.  I’m okay with wearing dread-locks in my hair.  I’m okay with tattoos and piercings on my body.  Because if I love who I am inside, all that’s going to show on the outside.  I can’t tell you how many people have asked me what the hell my secret is, or what do I do to look so young?  It’s because I really do have the soul of a young child.  And people can see that in my eyes.  And all I want to do is pass that around to show all the women in my life we can ALL have that twinkle, no matter what age we are.

I just wanted to wish all my female peeps a very happy International Woman’s Day.  Be fierce, be wild, be proud, and most importantly, be YOU.

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A New Dawn, A New Day….

bohopeaceEach day we are presented with at least a thousand decisions to make.  Decisions that only we, as a person, can only make. Whether we are children or adults, mentally stable or challenged in some way, each one of us has decisions to make.  And each decision, great or small, will always have a PROFOUND impact on our future lives.  Now, when we are children, little to no responsibility is put on us because of our age and intolerance for understanding the repercussions called consequences to our actions.  But where is that line drawn?  How old do we have to be to become mentally competent of our decision making process?  Well, I think to each his own is the best answer I could come up with in the last several hours of contemplation yesterday.  Some people mature at a young age, some, like myself, take 40 years to mature.  Some, well, some are still learning.  You can be the best parent or guardian in the world, but in the end our accountability is ours, no matter how much you want to slice it.  How people treat us is their karma, how we respond to it is ours.  This, my friends, is the biggest lesson in life I will ever learn.

See, many years ago before I became a troubled kid, mind you, I was basically a normal little girl, until an event in my life changed that.  We try so hard as parents to teach our children to follow a certain guideline when life throws us a bad curve ball, but we don’t always listen.  See, this is where accountability comes in.  How old does one need to physically be to be held accountable? I can’t give you this answer.  BUT, I CAN say, that when one emotionally and psychologically has the impact of becoming responsible, then it’s fair play.  Sadly for me, so much was blocked out until a few years ago, that when it finally came to pass, I had to become accountable for my own faults that happened 30 years ago. 

Each day we are presented with at least a thousand decisions to make.  And in the summer of 2012, I made a big decision.  One of the biggest of my life, presumably.  Let alone the hardest.  Granted, my memories from long ago swayed back into my life like the winds along the reeds, but these winds were sadly stormy.  If not hurricane-like.  Having to take accountability for things that happened so long ago can be difficult for someone because yes, it WAS long ago.  But when someone was hurt in the process; that long ago can feel like yesterday to that other person.  Taking in that perspective then, one has to stop their own process and understand that not everyone heals the way you do.  Not everyone understands and processes the same way you do.  And the moment one becomes to fully understand this, respect will take place, followed by a solemn bout of humility. 

I was given a gift yesterday that I did not deserve.  A gift of closure.  Just because my life has taken a turn for the better does not mean it’s time to forget the hurt I may have caused others along the way.  And trust me when I say, that is not the case.  Every person I have ever lied to, cheated, stole from, is on my mind every single day.  I think back to 20 years ago, 30 years ago, and I can honestly say, I don’t know who that girl was.  More and more my memories of that Bridget have faded, mainly because the beliefs, feelings, and understandings no longer resonate with the woman I am today.  I am a proud 41 year old woman.  A mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a godmother, soon to be wife, and a friend.  And every single person who is connected to me I love with all my heart and am protective to the core for their safety.  30 years ago, hell 20 years ago, I can’t even say that about myself.  Life for me began at the age of 40, and I am grateful to have been given a second chance at life.  But that does not mean I can forget the first 40 years and those that were hurt along the way.  I promise you, I will never forget.  And I will always ask for forgiveness, even though I probably don’t deserve it.

People, remember who you are, and if it’s not good, change it.  Be real, be honest, be blessed and most importantly, be humble.  Each one of us is fighting our own battles.  Some of those battles others are fighting are because of something we did to start it.  Own it and never forget.  But forgive yourself and continue to do the best you can every day.  That is really the best way to repay someone you’ve hurt.  Never forget and utilize those consequences as a tool to make those thousand decisions each day.

Being held accountable is a bitch.  But when it’s time to move on to the next chapter in your life, at least you can say you were, and it can never come back to harm you in the end. 

~ Bridget

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