Tag Archive | holiday

Well, this is new…

JOYHonestly I wasn’t going to be writing anything up for at least a few days.  I myself am nursing a bit of a tummy ache due to some over-indulging on amazing foods the last few days.  Thankfully due to my Kratom tea and Juice Plus I can easily say this is the first true year I did not get sick.  Don’t get me wrong, the sickness TRIED with all of its ugly might to get to me, but I really believe my immune system is getting stronger each day.  And being off of all my meds, this is indeed a miracle.

This holiday proved to be very nice and rather quiet.  We didn’t have my step-son on Christmas morning as this was his year to spend with his Mom.  So, it was just Scott, Timmy and I to see what Santa left under the tree.  While I watched with a big smile on my face as my son opened his gifts, I noticed something for the first time (I love when that happens), that I wanted to share.  It was a feeling of some sort, that I pretty much ignored until I got into my car to come home from Christmas dinner.  I wasn’t sure if anyone else feels this way, or at the very least, have a modicum of an idea of what I’m talking about.  But I thought it was definitely worth sharing.

Even with growing up in the household I did, where Christmas was literally THE BIGGEST thing to celebrate in my family, and even with all the giggles and joyful glees from the previous years even up to today when hugging my Mom and kissing her and loving the fact I got to celebrate Christmas at home with my family this year (Scott and I alternate each year), something was definitely changed.  

I noticed that my “holiday” spirit wasn’t really there.  Well, not like other years, at least.  I always found myself around Christmas Eve through Christmas Day to be in such a state of  such anxious happiness that at times I couldn’t contain myself (when I was 10 I threw up all night because my body couldn’t handle the nervous excitement I was going through), and it was profound enough for me to notice I didn’t have that this year.  Why?  Nothing much has changed.  In fact, financially we are a bit sounder than we have been in years.  But, as I was driving home from my Mom and Dad’s this afternoon, I realized I was thinking about how much I was looking forward to taking down the decorations.  But not for the reasons many would assume.  With society needing this almost perverted way to incorporate the Christmas commercialism of gifts and decorations galore earlier and earlier each passing year, many people tend to find themselves wanting to tear down the holiday décor and get back to ordinary time as soon as the gifts are unwrapped and before the dinner is digested.  So, I thought about that, and it wasn’t that reason either. It really started bothering me that I just didn’t feel any type of emotion of why THAT “spirit” wasn’t within me.  I was so happy, but not like I had been in previous years.

And then it dawned on me:  See, I AM happy.  The “spirit” within me never left.  In fact, it’s very much there.  What I didn’t realize is that the spirit within me has moved through me so much, that I can’t really determine what the “Christmas” spirit is anymore.  Because I celebrate life every day.  So, today was just like any other day, and I realize it doesn’t need to be “extra” special just because people observe the birth of Jesus, or the returning of the Sun, or whatever reason people celebrate this time of year.  For me, the spirit is ALWAYS in me, so there’s no need to have the “Christmas” spirit, because it lives through me every minute of every day.  I can’t tell anymore!  How crazy is that????

I am relaxed.  Happy.  Blissful.  Hopeful.  And in love with life.  I realized today I don’t need any specific holiday to get me into a special spirit.  Because the spirit and I are finally one, and it is indeed special. 

I can sure celebrate every holiday like I do each year, but now I have a better understanding of myself,  knowing full well that although the holidays gives us that “special” spirit, because that spirit lives and thrives within me continually, EVERY day is a holiday to me.

And that’s the fact, Jack. 

~ Bridget

Happy Holidays!

b6681__Warm-with-Fireplace-for-Bedroom-Design-IdeasWhat a weekend! What was supposed to be a quiet afternoon with friends on Saturday turned into a wine and karaoke infused evening! HA! What fun it was! Love impromptu gatherings!
Today is my last day of work for a few days of holiday cheer. My 41st birthday is tomorrow, and I am ever so thankful that my job is giving me tomorrow and Christmas Eve off. So, I will be back to work on the 26th, but the days I have off, I will be utilizing to the fullest extent.
I am grateful to say that the holidays this year have been quite merry and I am thankful that Scott and I were able to give our boys a decent holiday so far. With planning a wedding and getting into the groove of family life, there is always the fear of not having enough, so I am grateful for the hard work that I have been putting into my job gave me the reward of a small raise.
Tomorrow my fiancé and I are going to enjoy my birthday and get the kiddies off to school. I don’t know if he has anything planned for us tomorrow outside my step-son’s Science Fair (seriously, who does this on the last day before the holiday vacation?) but all I know is that I plan on enjoying my 41st year on this earth with lots of love and fun. My Mom is making me lasagna tomorrow night, and although it is our last “birthday dinner” my parents will be hosting, I am looking forward to a fun filled night with my family. Lord knows what shenanigans they will be up to tomorrow!
All in all it has been a great last few weeks. And the cream on the top happened last night when our dear friends who just had a beautiful baby girl asked Scott and I to be her Godparents, and it was just such an emotionally charged moment I am still reeling from it. They are two of our best friends, and we are quite honored to be such an intimate part in their little girls’ life. As my girlfriend/momma Jen put it when she asked me and I was so touched, she answered with “there’s nothing that could have been more appropriate”.
To be given that type of responsibility is not to be ever held lightly. I thought about this long and hard last night before going to bed, because asking someone to be a godparent is basically asking someone to take care of your children in the event you can no longer. That’s serious stuff! When you are given the personal responsibility of someone else, it means that there are those out there, including the universe, know you can handle the responsibility simply because you are taking personal responsibility for your own life. I am a big believer in this. Personal Responsibility – Two very powerful words. In fact, at my son’s school, there is a banner that spreads half way across the gym with these two words. It means…lacking victimhood, taking ownership, and so much more. I just had this conversation with my step-son last week when he forgot his saxophone for the 3rd time in the last couple months and got grounded for throwing a tantrum about it. The moment a person stops feeling sorry for themselves, or stops blaming everyone and everything wrong in their life, instead of them owning up to their mistakes, therefore taking responsibility for the consequences of their life, personal responsibility becomes one of the easiest factors in your life. Trust me on this: I had to learn that the hard way. But I am glad I am on the other end of that stick now and am grateful to reap the lovely rewards of being that person. To have the motivation to keep going, to love my life, is what it’s about. That’s the best part of personal responsibility. Sure, I have my bad days, but I’m sure as hell not going to blame it anyone else but myself. I have the option to choose to be happy or be miserable. I decided a long time ago to be happy. And look where it’s put me. Every single night I go to bed with a smile on my face. Because I have two, albeit crazy boys who love me, and a fiancé who I can’t get enough of, a warm and loving home, a job, and a love for life that took me 40 years to truly appreciate. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
So, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, Happy Yule, Happy Hanukkah, oh I know I’m forgetting another one…but nonetheless, since there are so many other holidays celebrated outside of Christmas, I wish you all have a wonderful and safe holiday, however you choose to spend it!

~ Bridget

Trying not to lose momentum…

umbrella Thank you Juice Plus+.  I am having one of those mornings, or weeks, mind-you, that if it weren’t for the fact I have been taking this wonderful product, this last few days would have been worse off.

The “domino” effect can hit you like a mac truck if you are not careful.  All it takes is one thing.  That’s it, just one thing, to go wrong, and all of a sudden you find yourself on a downward spiral of crap.  Take for instance this:  So, last week I think I overdid it on work and house stuff, and add a touch of bad beef, that I got myself sick.  Not total flu sick, but more fatigue, nasuea, want-nothing-to-do-with-life sick.  I wasn’t in pain, just more than anything exhausted.  I had been putting myself on double time with so much and trying to make up for it by doing a little extra here and there for my health, that I actually knocked myself out.  How do you do that?  Especially when you’re trying to do something to KEEP you healthy?  Well, I knew this, and I still didn’t listen to my body – sometimes, too much, even if it’s good for you, it just that:  TOO MUCH.

The weekend ended up being rather lovely, despite my being tired.  Got most of my holiday shopping done, and 75% wrapping done, but even with a clean and somewhat organized house, something was bound to go wrong.

This morning, everything that could have gone wrong went.  From kids not listening and getting in trouble, to stupid things like people not paying attention, paperwork misplaced, and just for kicks, let’s throw in a major accident on a roadway that caused my usual commute to be twice as long.  When I finally came into work, thinking at least I will have some solace here, all my computer drivers are missing.  Thus I sit here as I type, holding onto a queue I’ve been in since 8am with my company’s help desk.  (It’s 8:47am).  So, life  happens.  And this morning I lost my cool.  It hasn’t happened in a while, but some times, too much is just that:  TOO MUCH.  Whether its good or bad, having things in extremes can cause serious harm down the road to anyone.  Moderation is the key in everything we go through.

I will say, I am grateful for the fact I am on Juice Plus+…if I hadn’t been taking it, I cannot imagine how these last few days would have really been like if I hadn’t been taking it every day.  I could have been sicker, my anxiety would have SHOT through the roof.  And instead of being at work patiently waiting for my day to start, I could be under the covers at home begging someone or something to take the pain away.  I am officially on ZERO medication.  One year ago I was on pain killers, sleep aids, anxiety/depression, allergy and thyroid medication, taking all of these sometimes at once.  Today, with the odd Zyrtec here and there thanks to this crazy weather on the East Coast, the only thing that I ingest every morning is tons of fruits, vegetables, berries and grains to help me keep up the pace of my ever changing world.  People keep asking me what my secret is:  Well, that’s it.  Juice Plus+ :  Can’t get any plainer than that.

A few years ago, this was me ~  Miserable, pityful, and a self loathing woman I was, until I found something that turned my life around and made me realize I CAN be healthy AND happy at the same time.  So, even on bad days (or weeks, like me here), can be spent less stressful and more eager to get back on the train to normalcy.

At least my Christmas decorations are up.  And boy, do they look lovely.  😀

~ Bridget