Tag Archive | new year

Happy New Year and Where I’ve Been…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Okay. So check this out:

Over the course of the last month and the last time I posted something here (yes, you read it, MONTH), I have typed out about 6 blogs. SIX. Not one of them have been posted to my site.

Um, hello? Knock knock? Bridget? Whatcha doing over there?

Yeah. I know. I have been stagnant like 30 day old untreated pool water. Yuck.

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(me pretty much everyday)

What gives? It’s a good question. I appreciate the emails from some of my readers asking me where I was, if I was okay….etc. etc…I could easily tell you I’m fine…life is swell.

Truth is…it’s not. And that’s OKAY!

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(yes, I have been incredibly anti-social lately)

I wish I could be Miss Happy Girl 24/7, and don’t get me wrong, I really DO everything I can to achieve that on a daily basis.

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But, something’s up. And I know what it is. Right now, I’m going to keep it to myself until I feel it is the right time to throw it out for discussion.

There is nothing…and I really mean this…NOTHING, more heartbreaking than having a certain dream of something and knowing full well it is NEVER going to come true. In regards to my life, this goes in two different directions, but with similar things related to the main idea. It sucks. Truly. But having this knowledge does give me a sense of power, because at least I know, I can work around it. Or better yet, FIX IT.

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Over the course of this last month, though, I have been going through the natural stages of grief.  This came with some humbling knowledge that things I thought in my head were a certain way, were in fact, very much the opposite.

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Truth is, the goals I had 10 years ago are nowhere NEAR the goals I have today.  Heck, the goals I had 1 year ago no longer serve me as goal-worthy.  Not because I can’t achieve it; truth be told, you can achieve anything if you set your heart out to it…no, it’s because I no longer care, support,  nor want to be a part of that anymore.

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Kinda of like when you were a kid, and had a certain way of handling your things, or even just living your life, and then one day, you realize you’re no longer a kid, and that your desires are more “grown-up” and the kid-stuff no longer applies to you.

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Here’s the thing:  You don’t have to be going through puberty to understand this philosophy.

As humans, we naturally evolve based on our habitat, culture, and generation we are applied to.  Just as fads and trends change with each passing decade, so do your thoughts, feelings, and ideaology as well.  It’s what makes us such amazing beings.

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Last year, in fact, sometime around this part of the day on December 31st, I sat down in my little apartment and wrote out a piece of paper that had the following things:

GOALS FOR 2015

Continue down the path of authenticity

Write more

Get married

Buy a new house

The good news is, I achieved each one of these very goals.  YAY ME!

The bad news is, I’ve got a LONG way to go….

So, in order to really really achieve my authentic self, my blogging, my marriage, and my new home, I have to make a change.

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I know what this change is.  I feel it so strongly that I opened up to my parents, my husband, one of my Uncles and my best friend. Yeah, I don’t screw around…when making big changes, you don’t want those you are close to to be completely thrown off course.  Believe it or not, even if no one else has a right to dictate how you live, it is always a courtesey to make sure they at least KNOW what you are planning.  The shock value has all but disappeared, therefore creating less drama in your life.

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So, in light of my last blog and the things I’ve experienced the last few months, I’ve decided I’m making only ONE goal this year.  But oh boy, it’s a big one.  Look, I don’t like being a tease, and my readers know that one of the best forms of authenticity is it be as transparent as you can be.  Right now, I have a lot of things I need to think about.  My decisions I make at my age are never made in haste and are NEVER taken lightly.  But the thing is, the result of this goal is going to help continue to achieve the happiness and well-being of all the other goals I’ve ever set on.

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Truly, just writing this all out makes my decisions more real, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to chicken out on making my dreams come true.

No matter how crazy or unbelievable they are.

The last few decisions I made for myself that had the same desire surge from within me was knowing I wanted to marry my husband, buy a house, and walk away from certain people that no longer serve me.  Each one of those things has brought me nothing but blissful peace.

I can do this.  Hell yeah.  I’m so gonna do this!

Much Bohemian Love,

Bridget

Year In Review…Goals for 2016

10307193_1559900494267589_6711902782439770635_nAnyone else thinking this year went super fast?  I mean, I feel like it was just a couple weeks ago I was getting into our SUV after our wedding reception.  That was April.  So much has happened in this last year I cannot even begin to start.  So, instead, I’m just going to plunge right into goals for next year.

As many of you know, I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions.  I think they are truly lofty aspirations that end of not even making it out of the month of January.  People need to stop doing that to themselves!  Instead, make goals.  Instead of making a resolution to START something, make a goal, which is an END result!  That way, you don’t feel pressured into starting at a particular time, and can figure it out as you go along.  So what are my goals for 2016?

Well, I have a few.  And boy, a couple of them are big ones.  I think we should all at least have one big goal for the year, so you don’t feel as if your life is becoming stagnant.  For me, it’s a change.  A major change.  I really can’t go far more into it than that because the change I am considering is going to upset people I know.  And really, I’d rather deal with it when the time actually comes, then deal with the backlash of debate and ridicule from people who claim I would be making a huge mistake, being flighty, and so on.  So, instead, I’m going to talk about the little stuff…

#1.  The Spiral Willow is going to become more active.  I will admit, I’m a little bummed I’ve got a big inventory of really amazing stuff for a decent and competetive price, but yet no one seems to want to buy.  It bums me out when people seek me out for Oracle Readings and Tarot Readings, but since I’ve started requesting donations for my readings, all of a sudden it’s radio silent out there. Makes for a sad hobbit.  So, I will be doing more sale and more incentives, and even considering doing a boxed subscription each month.

#2. I’m going to learn how to play the guitar. (Again).  A few weeks ago my husband came home with all his guitars that have been in storage.  I myself own a guitar but it is too large for me.  I found my husband had a red guitar, a little smaller than the one I own.  I put it in my arms, and it felt RIGHT.  It was as if my fingers were tingling.  So yeah.  Time to re-learn.

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#3. I want to take my kids to New York and Baltimore.  My husband and I talked about this at great length, and we’d really like to find time to get our family to go to these places for the day.  They are not far from our homes and our boys deserve to see a little culture.

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#4.  I want to take a PROPER vacation camping/going to the shore.  Like a whole week off from work.  Not a mini vacation here and there.  I want to wake up every morning and smell the forest air. Walk on the trails.  Read in a hammock.  Swim in the lake or pool.  Like Everyday.

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#5.  I would like to start my Red Tent community.  Please see my page right here for more information.

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#6.  I need my house to be fully unpacked and readied to be lived in.  We’ve been living here since the beginning of October and we haven’t even neared the half way point.  A lot of this has to be with no vacation time left.  So, I am hoping to make a move in getting that done in early 2016.

#7. I plan to create more.  Paint, draw, work with my herbs, forage, create my oils and tinctures, yes, this is the year my creations are going to take more of a hold on this world.

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#8. I plan to meditate more.  Finding alone/quiet time can be difficult, no matter how hard you try.  Even if it’s from your own mind, you can never seem to get out of a certain place without having your mind racing with thoughts.  I want to create a daily ritual where I quiet my mind and just listen to my breath.

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#9. I plan to let go.  I have been holding on to things for so long, it is only habit now I keep holding on.  Not anymore.  So much of my weight is in emotional baggage that people expect me to carry, either because they cannot forgive me for things, or have expectations of me doing penance for the rest of my life for things I did in the past.  I cannot control other people’s emotions, and so, since I’ve been trying to hold on for a modicum of relief in certain relationships, I just know it’s not going to be the case, and I’m going to let go of them.

#10. I’m going to smile every day.  There is no question amongst my friends and family alike that I haven’t been happy with certain things in my life.  Some of these changes that I stated above will result in this #10.  I deserve nothing less than to be the happiest I can be every day.  And damned if I’m not going to try my hardest to achieve that.

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And so, those are my goals.  Have you thought about yours?

Samhain and the Time of No Time…An Earth Spiritualist’s POV…

wheel_of_the_year    Today I was listening to the Starz’ Series Outlander Volume 1 and 2 Soundtrack on my computer and couldn’t help but feel a jolt of excitement.  Samhain is coming up next week, and if anyone has watched the Outlander Series, Claire’s journey begins on the feast of Samhain.  (Mind you, the book is different and shows that her journey begins on Beltane, but I kind of like this change, since Samhain is literally strewn in mystery, which is what time traveling is all about, right?)

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Samhain.  The end and yet the beginning of the Celtic New Year.  Halloween itself started about 1300 years ago in the Celtic Isles, however Samhain has been around much much longer than that.  This Holy Day, was the original holy day of obligation that many today know it as All Saints/All Souls Day.  The ORIGINAL holiday was called Samhain or Samhuinn (pronounced SAH-WHEN).

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(Samhain Ritual and Celebration at Columcille Megalith Park in Bangor, PA 2013 – Photo taken by Sean DeStephano)

So, how can I go from understanding myself as a Galactic Starseed during this Ascension process yet still can resonate with my Earthly bound needs?  Well, for me it’s quite simple.  Our souls are galactically bound to the Heavens, to our Creator.  It’s so vast and so strong and powerful, there is no denying where our souls come from. (at least in my opinion).  However, we are humans of the Earth right now, and we asked to be a part of this planet to learn the lessons our souls need right now.  And there is no doubt, no doubt, in my mind, how connected I am to Mother Earth.

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From gardening, to the Moon, to understanding my body’s wants and needs, and how this is all connected to the core of my humanness, my soul.  See, what many people don’t either understand or care to want to educate themselves on is that these Earth Spirituality faiths were the original religions.  Yes, I know it may come as a shock to many, but these “religions” came before Judiasm, before Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, and so on.  What has happened today is that Jesus’ legacy was severely altered by subjecting those followers to believe that honoring the planet we walk upon should be viewed as “evil”.  Men perversed the Earth religions because it overpowered their own beliefs.  How the written word has literally been changed time and time again over thousands of years.  How sad is that????  Think about it this way:  You decide to start a company.  You begin in the trenches and work your way from the bottom.  Then, something happens…people start buying into your business.  You make enough money and some big investment firm offers you a proposition that you simply could NOT turn way.  You leave your company in the hands of those who never knew what you had to do to get where you are today.  Fast forward 5 years, and everything you originally started the company was no longer there.  The product changed.  The logo changed.  The mission statement changed.  Everything you thought of, dreamed of, was gone.  Why?  Because someone else decided they wanted to make it different.  And all it takes is a little marketing and boom….it’s a new brand.

This is precisely what happened here.  The old religions were shunned aside, making way for something different.  And I mean, come on, let’s look at Christianity.  The teachings Jesus taught.  Do you REALLY think that’s what the church stands for today?  I’m not looking for debate here, I’m not looking to insult anyone’s faith.  In fact, I love Christianity.  Well, the way it WAS, at least.  I live in a way, a Christian life.  I am kind to EVERYONE, even those who have hurt me.  I forgive.  I work hard and am humble. (at least I try to be).  I try to set a good example for my children.  I am loyal.  And I believe EVERYONE is welcome to enjoy the glories of eternal life, no matter WHAT faith you walk by.

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But see, I’m more than that.  I wish you could feel what I feel when I go outside at night and look up at the Moon.  Or when I light some incense and close my eyes and think about how I can be a better person in life.  Or a take a set of cards and lay them out, trying to find out what I need to do to work on myself.  Or when I stand in front of a table, with statues or pictures of people I love and honor, and pray to help me here in life.  Now, let me ask you:  Do I sound like a person who is evil?  Do you think I am playing with fire?  Because that’s truly what people think.    I’ve learned to let it go, no matter how much it breaks my heart.  But my love of this planet, my creator, and everyone around it is MORE important than a few people who think I am damned to eternal fires.  It just has to be this way.

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(The Moon from our deck just now)

This coming weekend I will be spending a quiet evening with a couple of people I am incredibly close to.  My next of kin outside my own blood family.  And we will be honoring those who have passed on, especially those in the last year.  I have a list of friend’s relatives, family and friends who have been asked to be put on my special intentions list, and we will be remembering them that evening.  I will call them to join us for dinner, and to stay with us in deep and spiritual meditation, reminding them how much they were loved here, and how they will never be forgotten.  In Latin communities, they call it Dia De Los Muertos.  In Christian communities, they call it All Saints/All Souls Day.  Again, let me ask you, why is it okay for those in those communities to do what I do, yet what I do is evil?  Asking people to let down their guard, as well as their egos, can be quite a challenge.  But I always welcome this conversation, because I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they believe in.  And as long as they respect me the way I respect them, we will live in more harmony.

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(Ritual of Dia De Los Muertos in Mexico)

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(Catholic Cemetery honoring All Souls Day in Bangladesh)

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(Traditional Altar honoring the ancestors at Samhain)

Samhain is a time of reflection, a time where we go into a void until the Winter Solstice, which is the beginning of Yule, the welcoming back of the sun, or in Christian communities, the Son.  I love this time of year, because it is an amazing experience to really go inward, and let go of your ego, and you realize what true humility is like.  It’s precious, and I take advantage of every moment I have in reflective solitude.

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I am going to begin doing classes for those who are interested in my path.  I look forward to helping people on their path, whether it is along my side, or on a different road.  Either way, I will always be there for those who need me.

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Another great thing about the next several weeks of being in “no time”, is in that reflection, I will find more time for my art.  My art in writing, painting, drawing, and other crafts.  If you are interested in a painting or drawing or anything of that matter, please let me know.  I have found my best work, albeit in my poetry and artwork, always comes between November and the first 3 weeks of December.  My inspiration?  The skies at Sunset.  Trust me when I say they are extraordinary.

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(December 2013 Sunset near Appalachian Mountains)

Will you be participating in anything honoring your ancestors this week?  If so, how?  I love to hear about what everyone is going to be doing.

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Photo:Copyright JOE;CONLON;ATHBOY;;;

(Photo:  Joe Conlon)

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Gonna Be a Busy Year!

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Well, here we are, for many of us, today represents the last of our holiday hours, and tomorrow we go back to the grind of normalcy.  It’s something I am greeting with open arms.

I started my nightly ritual a little early tonight.  Mainly because my lovely fiancé, Scott, did an extraordinary thing for me, and bought me a brand new laptop.  So, here I sit in bed (see pic!) drinking my Maeng Da Kratom tea, and listening to my Pandora radio of female folk music.  Scott is leaving soon to pick up his son, and even though I am going to have to go out at 7:45pm to pick up my son, I wanted to take some me time back here while all is quiet in the home.

The next 4 months are going to be incredibly busy, I am sitting here just realizing this.  Within the next 4 months, I am going to be coordinating 2 events, doing a food tasting for our wedding, let alone getting the invitations out, and finishing up the bits and bobs of planning a wedding.  I was looking at the guest list and I felt a little sad.  I pray I don’t lose friendships over lack of an invite to my wedding.  Some people invited me to their wedding, and although I was there and was honored to be there, I do not believe I am going to be able to reciprocate every couple that invited me to their wedding.  I just can’t.  80 people is our limit. And me and Scott’s family alone takes up 2/3 of our list.  So, one can only hope there won’t be hard feelings.

Oh dear God, I’m getting married.

You know, we’ve been together over 4 years now, and looking back, I feel we’ve been together 20 years.  Solidifying the deal, so to speak, by going up and saying those vows, well, it can’t come quicker!  Actually, I take that back – too much planning.  Time to buckle down, I guess. Got to finish up the little things.  I am grateful Scott’s uncle will be taking pictures, and my sweet friend and her husband, Dana and Jim, are gifting us with our invitations.  Two major things we don’t have to worry about financially.  My dress is currently hanging in my girlfriend, Jenny’s home, alone with my little shoes.  Trying to halt the altering stuff until the last minute because I am still losing weight.  And hey!  Let’s talk about all that:

Tomorrow at lunch I am going to start a walking/running gig.  3 times a week at work, and Sunday mornings I am going to find myself outside, rain or shine, getting my time in, in hopes sooner than later I will be running more than walking.  I’d like to get a membership at the YMCA to get my swimming on with my friend, Rita, but right now that’s on the back burner.  Hopefully by summer I will be in yoga, and with taking Juice Plus+ along with my Kratom tea, I’m going to look and feel better than ever this time next year.  Like I said, it’s was an amazing 2014.  Even with its downs, I know I was blessed and I feel another blessed year is coming upon me.  Too much happiness brewing inside of me.

I will say, my bohemian lifestyle is finally making its way into my clothing.  Getting rid of the bulky clothes that no longer suit me and finding myself in larges and extra larges rather than the plus sizes is a breath of fresh air.  I didn’t realize some clothes are actually cheaper than their plus size counterparts, even if it’s the same damn outfit!  Sigh…

Two new pictures have made their way into my home, and they represent exactly how I feel each day:

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Now that all our decorations down, it’s time to see our little home blossom again with the Spring.  Even though it’s January, to me we are on the cusp of brighter days to come.  And that, friends, is worth celebrating.  Cheers! *clink*

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Preparing For A New Year…

motivation-do-moreLawd! The Holidays are almost over! And another calendar year is about to close. Whew! I’m telling you, I had a great year. Really, a great year. On Christmas Eve, my Mom and I were snuggling on the couch at my sisters and just chatted on how we could not believe how fast this year went! I think a lot of this has to do with an idea I had last year, that resulted in a new community I put together with the help of some of the most amazing friends a person could have. With a few hiccups here and there, we managed to put together a little community that all in all, wanted to find their spirituality through their own personal relationship with God, regardless of what religious background or present denomination they have.  But to seek their own Spirit with God through the very Earth we were given to live upon.  How awesome is that???  Honestly I never thought it would work. But it did! And here I can say our tightly knit little group is as strong as ever, and although I do not usually discuss my group on outside forums, I think it’s safe to say they won’t mind.

From my previous post, I found my wanting to take down my holiday décor earlier than the 1st of January, and although it was my plan, it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen as I had planned. My sweet honey threw his back out and we need to be extra careful on how to handle him with picking up things around the house. He’s very chivalrous that way, making sure I don’t pick up the big stuff and put away things, he likes to do these things for me, and although I consider myself a liberal woman in her own right, I’m okay with him being the rightful gentleman that he is. Our boys have been busy playing with their new toys, not really anticipating the clearing out of the old toys that they have no use for anymore. It’s something that needs to be done in order for us to maintain a peace in our home.  One of our biggest goals in life is living clutter free; and although we are getting there, we’re not there just yet. A work in progress: Heck, a work of a lifetime in progress. This is something that we can just do one time and it’s done. Clutter-maintenance is going to be our daily ritual, and trying to get the 4 of us to let go of the little stuff we can easily manage to put into a drawer is definitely going to be difficult. But, we’re doing it! I swear on my life!

On another note, another reason why I am looking forward to moving on from this holiday is from losing a friend to an accidental death that happened too soon for this young woman. We had been friends since 2005, and finding out on my birthday she passed away suddenly less than a week prior was raw to my heart and I am still trying to deal with the emotions of loss. We promised each other long ago we would meet one day (she lived in Ireland), and I vow to keep my promise, as she is buried at her home parish in the very county where our ancestors and distant family relations are from. One day, I promise you, Gloria.

So, as we gear up for the close of 2014, I’m dreaming up the upcoming year of learning little things like knitting, macramé and pottery, getting some more paintings out, starting my little Juice Plus+ business, and *sigh*…start running. And you know, it may take up to a year to get me going, but the world needs us all outside more, and I plan on doing my part starting this year.